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Old 01-03-2013, 12:04 AM
 
2,873 posts, read 4,538,665 times
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I live home because I'm my mother's caretaker. I WISH I could move out.
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:24 AM
 
Location: Duluth, Minnesota, USA
7,653 posts, read 14,747,741 times
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I find it a little bit odd how strongly many people (usually members of Generation X or Baby-boomers) chastise those who stay home longer than they have to.

They brag about having moved out as soon as they graduated high school and living in a cramped roach-infested apartment with 8 other people and surviving off ramen noodles while working 6 part-time jobs, but even if they did, why? Don't you want to at least save up some money so you can live a better life on your own once you move out, or establish your career so you will have sufficient income?

This is an aspect of American culture that boggles me, even as a sixth-generation American. I actually checked the census records, and back in the 1920's three or four of my great-great grandmother's children were still living with her, along with boarders. Other houses in the neighborhood had similar arrangements. Expecting that unmarried children will move out shortly after high school or college graduation seems to actually be a novelty in American culture, probably produced by post-war prosperity.
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Old 01-03-2013, 12:43 AM
 
Location: Between amicable and ornery
1,089 posts, read 1,370,700 times
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I was a homestead holdout because I just wasn't ready. I worked and contributed to the family and I'm sure they wanted me to fly the coup, i finally did. I agree with tvdxer and think it was a post war problem. I like how other cultures have generations living under one roof. There would be less need for social programs to catch the 99% if we'd take care of our own. I plan to purchase a family property for my kids and i hope they'll bring their families Just my two cents.
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:56 AM
 
12,422 posts, read 14,547,993 times
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There is no "too old" to live at home, it's whatever works..I agree with MAXIALE02 that having many generations under one roof would be ideal, and I agree that we should be caring for our own.
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:55 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,763,880 times
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I wouldn't care if my kids lingered around a bit with one caveat---I refuse to be the maid that does their laundry, cleans their rooms, makes their meals (sort of what I'm doing right now, lol). I would also ask for a certain amount of consideration--pick up your stuff, wash your dishes if you make a meal for yourself, etc. If I was doing mom/maid service for a 20 or 30 year old, that wouldn't go over too well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to making a nice meal where we can all sit down together as a family. But if my 30 year old came in and expected dinner to be on the table when they get home from whatever, no thanks. I'm watching one of my friends struggle with her 25 year old who is still living at home. He leaves his messes around the house, doesn't pick up or wash a dish, do his laundry, disappears for a day to stay somewhere else, comes in at all hours of the night with his girlfriend clanking around. That would get pretty old.

I fully expect both of my kids may not be out out of the house that soon. I'm a bit worried about my daughter because she has some pretty serious behavioral issues at the age of 12 (we are getting help). If she is doing the same thing at 20 and living at home, that will be worrisome. I suppose that we will have to cross that bridge when we get to it. I do think about that often though and hope that things get better for her.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:00 AM
 
741 posts, read 1,024,625 times
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As long as no one is being taken advantage of and all parties are enjoying the situation....no problem.
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:56 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,319,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
I find it a little bit odd how strongly many people (usually members of Generation X or Baby-boomers) chastise those who stay home longer than they have to.

They brag about having moved out as soon as they graduated high school and living in a cramped roach-infested apartment with 8 other people and surviving off ramen noodles while working 6 part-time jobs, but even if they did, why? Don't you want to at least save up some money so you can live a better life on your own once you move out, or establish your career so you will have sufficient income?
Have you considered WHY the Boomers wanted to move out?

No Boomer who fully participated in the 60's (free love, hippies, love beads, posters of Frank Zappa sitting on the john, the Beatles, the Stones, demonstrations, pot, trips, nehru collars, the pill, protest songs, psychedelic posters of Mickey Mouse giving the peace sign. putting a daisy sticker on your bus, thumbing a ride, Joan Baez, headbands, head bands, head shops) wanted to live at home where Mom would come downstairs in the morning and say, "Be sure you put your sweater on before you go to the anit-war demonstration. And be home by six. I'm making a brisket."
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
13,019 posts, read 7,193,418 times
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I think it's fine if you're working on a goal. If you're there to suck the life out of someone because you're too lazy to take care of yourself then no way. I was totally out by 20 while my brother continued to live off of my mother until the day she died. There was this really sick codependent thing going on there.
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,228 posts, read 23,743,496 times
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I remember asking my mother when we ( me and my sister) had to move out.
She said never, both of you never HAVE to move out.


gotta love mom,
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:21 AM
 
4,762 posts, read 10,224,033 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Army_Guy View Post
So what do the folks here think? Is there an age where you are supposed to be gone and out of the house?
It depends. Lately there have not been many jobs available. So staying at home longer might be a good idea.

And in places like Hawaii, where homes can cost $1 million or more, it is not an option to move out ever! They add on to the house and the kid and his spouse live in the addition.

Back in the 80's when there were plenty of jobs, I knew many kids who moved out around age 20.
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