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Old 02-12-2012, 12:20 AM
 
Location: SWUS
5,414 posts, read 7,538,172 times
Reputation: 5771

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DRGirl View Post
OK, let me explain this out and tell you how this thread came about. A few days ago I met up with a friend. I am 28, single for 2 years (divorced), she's 27 single for almost three (never married). We are both educated, have jobs, attractive, take care of ourselves (work out), and are very decent people. A friend of hers came along, she's 25, did not finish college and seems to be enjoying life pretty good.

We were talking about many things and eventually got down to men. My friend's friend said to us that she got tired of dating losers, getting her heart broken, and having a hard time finding Mr. Right so she decided to "invest her time" dating a suggar daddy until Mr. Right comes into her life. She said that the men she was meeting were just interested in getting laid and since she also has her needs, why not get something for it. She figured that seems she was getting frustrated all the time while dating, she might as well date and get something from it in the form of travel, clothes, fine dining, jewerly, and the likes.

My friend and I looked at each other and laughed. We shared with her our less than impressive latest dating adventures and how difficult we were finding to meet a good man. The woman's answer to us was "why don't the two of you date a suggar daddy until you find your Mr. Right? That way you won't be alone and will get to enjoy yourselves by being spoiled."

I must admit that the thought of being spoiled sounds very enticing but at the same time I can't sleep with a man I am not attracted to, and I have yet to learn dettachement from sex. Once I sleep with a man I can't date another one during that time. Darn oxytocin Aren't all suggar daddies old men too? Like my dad's age? I am not sure if this is still in
my mind because I don't seem to meet a decent man, and VD is around the corner.

Has anybody here ever dated a suggar daddy/mamma? If so, how did you get into it? Pros/cons?
As per the thread title's question... I'd find it a bit trashy, but then again, it's not really my business. Hearing about it would be a turnoff, though, and the question of "where did you get all this nice stuff?" would come up eventually.

I can't answer the rest of the post, though. My only other thought is that even though other women may do it, there's no reason for you to lower your standards and basically get paid for sleeping with someone, even if the extra stuff would be nice, or whatever.
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Old 02-12-2012, 12:26 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 36,991,452 times
Reputation: 61782
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRGirl View Post
OK, let me explain this out and tell you how this thread came about. A few days ago I met up with a friend. I am 28, single for 2 years (divorced), she's 27 single for almost three (never married). We are both educated, have jobs, attractive, take care of ourselves (work out), and are very decent people. A friend of hers came along, she's 25, did not finish college and seems to be enjoying life pretty good.

We were talking about many things and eventually got down to men. My friend's friend said to us that she got tired of dating losers, getting her heart broken, and having a hard time finding Mr. Right so she decided to "invest her time" dating a suggar daddy until Mr. Right comes into her life. She said that the men she was meeting were just interested in getting laid and since she also has her needs, why not get something for it. She figured that seems she was getting frustrated all the time while dating, she might as well date and get something from it in the form of travel, clothes, fine dining, jewerly, and the likes.

My friend and I looked at each other and laughed. We shared with her our less than impressive latest dating adventures and how difficult we were finding to meet a good man. The woman's answer to us was "why don't the two of you date a suggar daddy until you find your Mr. Right? That way you won't be alone and will get to enjoy yourselves by being spoiled."

I must admit that the thought of being spoiled sounds very enticing but at the same time I can't sleep with a man I am not attracted to, and I have yet to learn dettachement from sex. Once I sleep with a man I can't date another one during that time. Darn oxytocin Aren't all suggar daddies old men too? Like my dad's age? I am not sure if this is still in
my mind because I don't seem to meet a decent man, and VD is around the corner.

Has anybody here ever dated a suggar daddy/mamma? If so, how did you get into it? Pros/cons?

If she is going to be a high maintenance, high dollar prostitute she should call it what it is and quit trying to pretend she isn't a prostitute.

Personally I could care less what anyone else wants to do with their lives, they are the ones who live with themselves. Just don't bring it to my house.
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Old 02-12-2012, 12:30 AM
 
73 posts, read 126,101 times
Reputation: 81
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman chosing to date men who have money if the relationship is mutually beneficial.
LOL, this could be the merriam Webster definition for prostitution.
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Old 02-12-2012, 02:29 AM
 
87 posts, read 190,546 times
Reputation: 120
I think there's an implicit assumption that prostitutes have no principals or choice. This is not true. Even prostitutes can pick their clients and choose who they sleep with. In that sense they are no different from normal people, except they choose to add an additional criteria to how they choose who they sleep with. In the case of a sugardaddy type of relationship, you additionally take away the promiscuity which reduces risk of STDs.

That being said, if I were the OP my biggest concern would be the damage this does to myself. People acclimate to their new situations very quickly, the biggest damage from such a relationship comes not from the sex but the easy money. Being spoiled is not a good thing, because it warps your expectations about future boyfriends. Overtime someone who is spoiled will become dependent on the person spoiling them. Easy money has a way of turning from servants into masters. I have known girls who were spoiled by their boyfriends and they have trouble having stable relationships afterwards because of the expectations they carry into every new relationship.

I'm a guy so maybe my perspective is a bit different. But I like challenging myself and not taking the easy way out in life. It gives me something far more valuable than momentary ease and comfort. It gives me the confidence to tackle any challenges that come my way in life.
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Old 02-12-2012, 02:39 AM
 
Location: Utah
1,429 posts, read 1,862,666 times
Reputation: 701
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzhang1 View Post
I think there's an implicit assumption that prostitutes have no principals or choice. This is not true. Even prostitutes can pick their clients and choose who they sleep with. In that sense they are no different from normal people, except they choose to add an additional criteria to how they choose who they sleep with. In the case of a sugardaddy type of relationship, you additionally take away the promiscuity which reduces risk of STDs.

That being said, if I were the OP my biggest concern would be the damage this does to myself. People acclimate to their new situations very quickly, the biggest damage from such a relationship comes not from the sex but the easy money. Being spoiled is not a good thing, because it warps your expectations about future boyfriends. Overtime someone who is spoiled will become dependent on the person spoiling them. Easy money has a way of turning from servants into masters. I have known girls who were spoiled by their boyfriends and they have trouble having stable relationships afterwards because of the expectations they carry into every new relationship.

I'm a guy so maybe my perspective is a bit different. But I like challenging myself and not taking the easy way out in life. It gives me something far more valuable than momentary ease and comfort. It gives me the confidence to tackle any challenges that come my way in life.
Promiscuity is still prominent. Sugar daddies usually expect alot more than a typical man who hires a prostitute is. They expect higher quality sex and a woman who is willing to do anything as well as anyone they tell them too in return for their money.
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Old 02-12-2012, 02:49 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
8,510 posts, read 5,983,126 times
Reputation: 41678
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman chosing to date men who have money if the relationship is mutually beneficial.
You might as well come out and say it ---
prostitution should be legal.

I have no interest in buying anyone. Prostitution is the only term to describe this topic.
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Old 02-12-2012, 02:58 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,143 posts, read 1,726,808 times
Reputation: 1337
i cant say that i know much about the subject but it sure sounds like a "working gal" to me - that being said there could be tax ramifications with the cash aspect - your friend should check with an accountant as the irs may deem the "gifts" as a form of bartering which could have tax ramifications also - the last people i would want to **** off is the irs -
i dont think the irs really cares as much about what your doing as long as you pay your taxes -
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Old 02-12-2012, 03:00 AM
 
87 posts, read 190,546 times
Reputation: 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by MariaKintobor View Post
Promiscuity is still prominent. Sugar daddies usually expect alot more than a typical man who hires a prostitute is. They expect higher quality sex and a woman who is willing to do anything as well as anyone they tell them too in return for their money.
I don't have first hand experience so if you do then I defer to you on this one. Just because a sugar daddy has expectations doesn't mean you have to meet them. The worst thing he can do is end the arrangement, isn't that the same as any normal relationship where one party can't meet the other's expectations?
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Old 02-12-2012, 03:06 AM
 
Location: Utah
1,429 posts, read 1,862,666 times
Reputation: 701
Quote:
Originally Posted by jzhang1 View Post
I don't have first hand experience so if you do then I defer to you on this one. Just because a sugar daddy has expectations doesn't mean you have to meet them. The worst thing he can do is end the arrangement, isn't that the same as any normal relationship where one party can't meet the other's expectations?
Yes but the difficulty in procuring a sugar daddy means that women are going to have to throw out not only their attraction standards but their behavioral standards as well if they want to keep ahold of what they have managed to get.

It is just a fancy form of prostitution and there is no need to sugar coat it with morals that clearly don't exist. The people who seek out men for their money have vague moral standards at best so this really isn't a problem.

Those who don't participate in this type of behavior have a completely different view from the ladies who are out to screw around for a mans cash.
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Old 02-12-2012, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
526 posts, read 794,981 times
Reputation: 544
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Every time I think of of the words "suggar daddy," the word prostitution comes to mind. After all, as many of you said, it's still an exchange of services/behaviors/sex for cash. My friend and I brought that up to this woman and she bit around the bushes. "Suggar" coding it by saying that there's nothing wrong with wanting to date a man who was successful. I agree with wanting to date someone who's stable, but the difference that I see is that this is the ONLY requirement that they so called "suggar babies" have.

Another BIG concern about this is getting used to the easy money. She said she'd only do it for a while until she finds the right guy, but I can't help to think, what if the right guy has to work to make a living and can't afford the lifestyle she's getting used to? Is she really going to drop the SD for love? I don't think so.

Also, even thought she did not admit to it, my friend and I are convinced that this SG of hers is married. I was cheated on before so there's no way in hell that I'd put another woman through someting like that. I know how that feels and it SUCKS (yep, with capital letters).

Anyways, I thought this was very interesting as she said she had other friends who do the same thing. And to my surprise, she said that of her friends is a MAN. He's screwing (or getting screwed) a much older woman as well. My question to her was, if they call suggar babies prostitutes and escorts, wouldn't be fair to call this guy a "gigolo"? After all, he's doing the same thing.

I am not about to lower my standards and chose someone I don't like just based on money. Dating can suck big time but I think GOD might do it on purpose so that we can appreciate when we find a good man. Right now I am happy with a man who has a job and a stable career. And a man who can see me couple of times a week. For what this suggar baby told me, he's the one who decides when they are going to see each other, where, and for how long. That sounds like a servant to me. These SDs aren't stupid. Oh, she algo got her breast augmented and lipo at that age, WTF? I'm a B cup and I will die a B cup. Would I like to get rid of my little bit of belly? Hell yes, but if exercise alone is not going to cut it, my right man will have to accept it as I would. I am not putting my life at risk for some fancy gifts.

I still find it interesting how people do things and then blame it to the "lack of good men" instead of accepting full responsibilities for their actions.

Keep the comments coming!
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