Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What will happen? Well, I probably will go long periods in between dates and not have as much of a "selection" to choose from. Which is NOT A BAD THING. But sometimes even other women will encourage you to settle! I have one angry feminist friend who told me that I was "lucky" that my ex-S.O. gave me the time of day, even though this is a man with ultimately nothing to offer. Angry feminist friend claimed that men can get laid any time they want and don't want to get married, so I should be happy with whatever type of "arrangement" I can get.
It's so hard not to believe this at times, because she gave voice to the negative thoughts in my head. "What if this is all I ever get?" "What if the next one is just the same, and I have to make do jumping from one man to the next?" "What if there are so few men of character, I never meet even one?"
Yes, I realize that this is powerful thinking, that it's unhealthy thinking, and that I need to quit it. It's just so hard at this particular time, after such a brutal break-up.
I agree with NewbiePoster. This "friend" may be angry, but she's no feminist. I doubt that you'd go long periods between dates - I think you're selling yourself WAY short.
I totally agree with you, though, when you say that some women encourage other women to settle. Unfortunately, these are usually women who have accepted the dating/sexual culture hook, line, and sinker, regret it, and want other women to play by the same stupid "rules" they did.
There aren't any fewer men of character than there are women of character. But you have to believe that you deserve a man of character, honor, and integrity; apply those high standards consistently, and you WILL find him!
I'm turning 21 in a few months but I'm also feeling some pressure to find a relationship. Apparently a woman is in her prime between 18-30 and dating will be much more difficult after her 30s. I think that there is some truth to this. I'm not obsessed with getting married or having kids; in fact I am childfree and I think I'd feel content with a long term committed partnership instead. Since I am only interested in childfree men, that has eliminated ~90% of potential men from my dating pool so I feel like I have to look for a childfree man "now" while I am in my physical peak. I don't want to be single forever, I do want companionship, to have someone to share the beauty of life with. I am 100% firm about being childfree, for numerous reasons, it would be a bad idea for me to have kids at any stage of my life so that isn't going to change.
Some women genuinely don't care I'm sure, but most are terrified of ending up cat ladies, whether they'll cop to it or not.
I don't plan on being the crazy cat lady..I plan on being the crazy dog lady. I can't stand litter boxes.
No one is perfect it is just a matter of what you personally find acceptable from the other person. The type of man that attracts me isn't the type that attracts my friends. A man that is clingy and suffocates me is not my thing.
I'm at the age in which most people are getting if not already married. I don't worry about not getting married, however. I just think it'll happen when it happens. I'm enjoying solitude at the moment.
I totally agree with you, though, when you say that some women encourage other women to settle. Unfortunately, these are usually women who have accepted the dating/sexual culture hook, line, and sinker, regret it, and want other women to play by the same stupid "rules" they did.
There aren't any fewer men of character than there are women of character. But you have to believe that you deserve a man of character, honor, and integrity; apply those high standards consistently, and you WILL find him!
::Hugs::
Logically, I know that you're probably right -- this friend has abandoned hope, doesn't believe in marriage, and does the "hook-up" thing a lot. I guess if that's your lifestyle, you see things from a different perspective. It's hard for me to not believe these things when I'm feeling so shot down. I'll get to a point where I start to see the best in people again, and I'll start to notice those men of character ... it'll just be a while.
Sorry OP! I think even single people who are truly happy being single 99% of the time will still have that 1% where they wish they had a relationship. If you are single and want a relationship there are things you can try to increase your chances of meeting someone, but no one can snap their fingers and have a relationship just like that - at least not with someone they truly like. It takes time and it's largely out of our control when it happens.
I'm just trying to be happy with life the way it is right now. What else can a person do? If a woman is 40 and single and enjoying her job and traveling, then who is to judge that? Maybe she is just making the most of her present circumstances and why shouldn't she? Sitting around crying isn't going to help her find anyone. I've been hurt a good deal, but if the right guy came along I would not blow him off because I felt I didn't deserve him or he was too good for me. I think most people are actually pretty resilient when it comes to relationships. If a woman tells you you're a nice guy and she doesn't want to hurt you or makes noise about being afraid of being hurt or whatever, then IMO most of the time she is blowing you off and just not that into you. She would take a leap of faith for you if she really liked you.
Nothing wrong with wanting a relationship but don't assume the grass is greener. I got a few friends whose significant other wouldn't have washed a single dish & would have moaned about not having Xmas dinner made for them.
Why do people always throw out having to wash dishes as a dig against an Ltr? So your friends have to wash dishes, they would need to do so anyway. Same goes for cooking.
Why is cooking and cleaning such a terrible hardship?
Why do people always throw out having to wash dishes as a dig against an Ltr? So your friends have to wash dishes, they would need to do so anyway. Same goes for cooking.
Why is cooking and cleaning such a terrible hardship?
I guess it could be understood as a euphemism for someone who is putting all the effort in the relationship while the other person isn't doing anything.
I think the general point of jasper's posts is that there are challenges being in a relationship just like there are challenges in being single and having a relationship will not solve all of your problems.
Why do people always throw out having to wash dishes as a dig against an Ltr? So your friends have to wash dishes, they would need to do so anyway. Same goes for cooking.
Why is cooking and cleaning such a terrible hardship?
I think Jasper was directly referring to your post where you said you had a broken hand and ate Christmas dinner alone and had to do the dishes alone with your bum hand. You alluded to the fact that it would be nice to be married so someone could have help with it. Jasper was just pointing out that just because a person has a spouse, doesn't mean the spouse is always the type to help you out (the grass isn't always greener). You could have a spouse that helps you out... or you could have a spouse that demands dinner and leaves you with your dishes (and theirs) to do with your broken hand.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
