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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
This.
It seems like this thread is full of extreme stances and projections. People seem to be unable to comprehend that a person can be happy being single and still be open to a relationship with the right person.
The projections are the worse of this thread. Just because you are miserably single doesn't mean that other women out there are. Some people really are happy just being by themselves and are not aching for companionship at the same level that you are. (not you specifically strawberrykiki but in general).
I've always found it quite disrespectful how people tell you how miserable or unhappy you are just because you are in a certain situation even though you actually feel good or O.K. because it shows how self-absorbed they are in trying to enforce their opinions or projecting their own feelings onto you.
I didn't eat Christmas dinner actually. I said something about how it would be nice to be married? That doesn't sound like me as I am divorced and aren't looking for a husband. I am on my phone, to difficult to look back.
I have certainly given the merits of relationships in general, and only mention marriage particularly because that is what the OP asks. I think it is ridiculous that all of the single, older women come out of the woodwork to discourage her in order to feel better about their own marital status. It sickens me, too be honest, the way women of my generation promote so heavily their own lonely lifestyles without telling the truth about it.
There hasn't been any of that in this thread. The OP is asking for people's personal feelings regarding the topic and people are sharing them. You are getting angry because people don't buy into whatever agenda you are pushing.
Even if you are ecstatic, you have no business pushing your views down the throat of someone else. That is what i am talking about here.
And besides, for the most they have merely settled for their current position of solitude. It is normal to couple up, that is the reason why you have genitals. It is the way our species propagates. It is the reason why humans have lived in packs since the beginning of time - we aren't meant to live a life of solitude.
Actually being single does NOT involve living a life of solitude or even a celibate life! From your post it seems you think it's better to settle for being in a relationship that isn't what you really want than to be single. Clearly being single is a fate worse than death!
Speaking of logic, when I first began to satisfy my animal urge to dominate and destroy, I found socially acceptable forms like chess. Blowing up ant hills with m-80s had run its course . I had counted the cost of a broken tooth, a favorite shirt from Bachrach being torn in drunken brawling and a cross bow bolt in a finger.
I always wanted to make those moves like swinging a sword handed down to me from Zeus. Swinging and missing, I realized the gods hated me, and I required trips to the smithy, learning to hold the center, putting a rook on an open file, and keeping from tripping pawns that march the plank into oblivion. Boring stuff..
.... Men fall in love with young, beautiful women with self destructive ease because its necessary, ya know. Now I know how expendable I am when having any contempt for its whims. As women age, the beauty fades, but then so do puppies grow into dogs and adorable infants are the most fleeting form of appearance of all... Does a man on the last hunting trip not remember the puppy? Yeah its easier to keep a man if you met him when you were beautiful and aged gracefully. Someone in charge of the new world of the now forgot to put that in the fine print. Saw it myself at a reunion where a friend of mine still saw a girl he had a crush on.
Nature is now against you . Dry farming is out, and you need to dig irrigation ditches.
Forget being able to "spot men of character". All you will do is spot attraction unless you can find objective standards of virtue. These are leaned, not inspired. One of those is a parable of Christ. If they give an abundance of what little they have, there is investment. But is must be subject to them. A rich man with little time gives more with 5 minutes than with any wad of cash.
Then you will know if he is : "really into you." And you are going to have to work for it and amp up the rate of circulation.
Or you can also realize that many married people also at times pine to be single as a concession. The old wounds still ache when it rains regardless...
Happy hunting...
In between my gasps of laughter, and squinting between the tears of mirth in order to reply to this: I feel as though I have realized the banality of the whole thread...
Yes its true, most men do think like barbarians, and so what...they can be fun, good company and teach you how to belch in a completely unladylike way...which, if you have kids, is a regular laugh riot.
I was in some kind of dark and somber mood earlier, and feeling the pangs of my decision to live as a hermit nun...when I posted my thought about being an older single woman.
Instead of realizing that my decision, which came from the depths of dissapointment, betrayal and well, just a little hate, that I have for my ex...I let my sadness over my situation take hold a little, and I admitted to the world, that yes, I wish I had a man, but, for chrissakes, have taken the holy vows of hermit nundome...in other words, ha ha...as the survivor of unhappy relationships choose to focus my attention on my kids, I know, its really weired.
I may someday date again, but in the meantime, I'm going to remember this post you wrote and laugh about this crazy old world, forget about dating again...and enjoy my spider web collection.
Funny reading this thread (and a good one too.) I have a lot of feelings right now about relationships and I feel for the next year I want some form of relationship stability. I'm 26.
I have a friend of mine who is about 10 years older than me and lives on the east coast. We met during the summer, and I was already in a firm move back to the west coast for grad school (and now it's just work since I found a job.) We both knew I was leaving but still went out a few times and had fun. I came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and it was the same deal. Met up, both times great and very compatible. However maybe it's because I'm on the brink of pure exhaustion since I had an early morning flight, but I feel the connection has intensified. Logistically, I moved back east for a total psycho about 3 years ago and moved back to the west coast after she was done ripping me apart. I couldn't fathom doing something like that again -- especially now with a full time job in LA. However I just feel the last two times we hung out we were just really into each other and this feeling of being "down" is just a horrible way to celebrate NYE and whatnot. I couldn't stay out there for NYE because of work. And the fact that she is over 10 years older than me but we have these feelings is quite insane. It's a huge age gap (ain't it?) And I feel she is looking for someone long-term (getting wifed up.)
This past year in LA it's been a lot of POF dates with little success. I don't feel hopeless about being in a relationship, however. This could just be me-being-me and temporarily hung up on someone until the next girl comes along but I just hate feeling like this.
I'm in my late 20s and single. Just started an entry level position and not ready to settle down because I honestly feel I won't have anything to offer in terms of stability. I just got out of a long term relationship with a traditional Caribbean man. We weren't even married and I already felt how submissive he wanted me to be and how dominant he would be. I felt closed in and needed out. I'm going to just focus on myself, get some counseling and most likely prepare to be single for the remainder of my life.
I have read some of this thread and think I have a different view then women who have been married. I am 29, not married, have a pretty good career, in grad school, and self sufficient. I can easily say that I have never been in love. I have had 2 long term (over 1 year) relationships which I ended because in both instances I never had that feeling that I couldn't live without the other person so why drag the relationship on for years. I have a stable group of friends and a great family. The only thing that is missing is someone to share this with. I am finally financially stable where I can really begin to travel, I would love to go to Europe this year and I have no one to go with. I have very few single friends and something as simple as wanting to see a movie can be a hassle. I am tired of having to do things by myself or not being able to do things because I don't want to be alone. I am perfectly happy where I am in my life but it plain sucks to not have someone to share it with. I wouldn't say I am worried to the point where I am anxious about it, but seeing 5 friends on facebook get engaged in the past week is not fun and does make you wonder if it is every going to happen to you.
I wouldn't say I am worried to the point where I am anxious about it, but seeing 5 friends on facebook get engaged in the past week is not fun and does make you wonder if it is every going to happen to you.
It does seem to be engagement season doesn't it? My daughter is in her late 20s and was home for Christmas and commented on the same thing. She's had friends get married before but right now there are 6 couples who have announced their engagement in the last month or so. She's had a couple LTR's (>2yrs) and 3 guys have talked marriage but she's ended all of them. She is in one now but is pretty certain she is going to end it in January. The engagements though, and the fact that all her friends really like and get along with her current bf, have her second guessing and wondering if there is something wrong with her. It's bad that she has to feel that way.
I have read some of this thread and think I have a different view then women who have been married. I am 29, not married, have a pretty good career, in grad school, and self sufficient. I can easily say that I have never been in love. I have had 2 long term (over 1 year) relationships which I ended because in both instances I never had that feeling that I couldn't live without the other person so why drag the relationship on for years. I have a stable group of friends and a great family. The only thing that is missing is someone to share this with. I am finally financially stable where I can really begin to travel, I would love to go to Europe this year and I have no one to go with. I have very few single friends and something as simple as wanting to see a movie can be a hassle. I am tired of having to do things by myself or not being able to do things because I don't want to be alone. I am perfectly happy where I am in my life but it plain sucks to not have someone to share it with. I wouldn't say I am worried to the point where I am anxious about it, but seeing 5 friends on facebook get engaged in the past week is not fun and does make you wonder if it is every going to happen to you.
You hit the nail on the head with what a lot of people think about singledom. It's not this death smudge that you can't shake. For many of us, you just reach a point where you want to experience something different and more intimate. You are much like myself, where you put your education and career above a relationship. It was fun, because we still had our single friends who wanted to do things with us. As time went on, our friends found relationships and just couldn't always make time to do activities together. I can echo your sentiment about planning a movie. My couple friends usually tell me about a movie 2 hours before it starts, and sadly it's not even a movie I would want to see.
Also, us single people who would like to be in a relationship, get poked and teased for wanting to express our feelings about the times when we do get lonely. I have a lot of fun playing video games, watching sports, mountain bike riding, posting on CD, gaining knowledge on new technology, cooking, and so on. It still doesn't change the fact that I would like to share some of these hobbies with someone else. Just as my friends shared less of their hobbies with me, and more with their new SO's. Once the phonecalls and text start to decrease, you do kind of realize that the single party has faded. I enjoy being single, because I know I would rather be single then settle for a terrible relationship. It's why I've been single as long as I have been. Going forward, I want to meet the right person, and that's something you can't force and it does create a bit of frustration. I can try and hide it all I want, but I know it does frustrate me. You don't know if that right person is going to be there a month from now or 10 years from now. No one knows, so we continue to live our lives and get as much enjoyment out of it as possible.
Speaking of logic, when I first began to satisfy my animal urge to dominate and destroy, I found socially acceptable forms like chess. Blowing up ant hills with m-80s had run its course . I had counted the cost of a broken tooth, a favorite shirt from Bachrach being torn in drunken brawling and a cross bow bolt in a finger.
I always wanted to make those moves like swinging a sword handed down to me from Zeus. Swinging and missing, I realized the gods hated me, and I required trips to the smithy, learning to hold the center, putting a rook on an open file, and keeping from tripping pawns that march the plank into oblivion. Boring stuff..
I brew wine as well, shamefully chaptalize and use acid blend. Oak chips float in my carboys looking like dead cockroaches. But is the art lost in the end just because there are unsightly and objective tools of the trade?
First you need to come to realize where you are. Men fall in love with young, beautiful women with self destructive ease because its necessary, ya know. Now I know how expendable I am when having any contempt for its whims. As women age, the beauty fades, but then so do puppies grow into dogs and adorable infants are the most fleeting form of appearance of all. So does that mean a woman may bond with a 5 year old child, even of their own? Would it matter to turn them over to a government facility until 5? Does a man on the last hunting trip not remember the puppy? Yeah its easier to keep a man if you met him when you were beautiful and aged gracefully. Someone in charge of the new world of the now forgot to put that in the fine print. Saw it myself at a reunion where a friend of mine still saw a girl he had a crush on.
Nature is now against you . Dry farming is out, and you need to dig irrigation ditches.
Forget being able to "spot men of character". All you will do is spot attraction unless you can find objective standards of virtue. These are leaned, not inspired. One of those is a parable of Christ. If they give an abundance of what little they have, there is investment. But is must be subject to them. A rich man with little time gives more with 5 minutes than with any wad of cash.
Then you will know if he is : "really into you." And you are going to have to work for it and amp up the rate of circulation.
Or you can also realize that many married people also at times pine to be single as a concession. The old wounds still ache when it rains regardless...
Happy hunting...
Very entertaining, gwynnedd! I enjoyed it, if I didn't always understand it, but I do like the way your mind works. Fascinating!
But, um, gwynnedd - don't take this the wrong way, okay? - but I was just wondering....
Did you drop some acid before you wrote this??
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