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I don't really get what that has to do with anything? I've never slept with anyone I've met online, so I don't think a guy wanting a "quick lay" plays into my experience. Those types are so transparent, I weed them out, or they don't bother messaging me at all (my profile was pretty clear on that). Whether or not 20, 15, 5, or 0 guys reply, oh well. Personally, I tried OLD for the chance that I'd encounter the one person I'm supposed to be with, not the vast majority of internet randoms that I "could" date if I wanted to. I found the quality of people online greatly underwhelming, and I feel I'd have better luck meeting someone with similar interests in real life through church or something (I deleted my profile this week). Maybe I'll end up alone, but at least I won't be settling.
Regarding the poster above, I also think there's a vast difference between being "desperate" for a relationship, and simply venting one's frustrations in a relationship forum. OLD has a learning curve, so obviously people are going to vent, ask questions, or share their experiences.
I don't really get what that has to do with anything? I've never slept with anyone I've met online, so I don't think a guy wanting a "quick lay" plays into my experience. Those types are so transparent, I weed them out, or they don't bother messaging me at all (my profile was pretty clear on that). Whether or not 20, 15, 5, or 0 guys reply, oh well. Personally, I tried OLD for the chance that I'd encounter the one person I'm supposed to be with, not the vast majority of internet randoms that I "could" date if I wanted to. I found the quality of people online greatly underwhelming, and I feel I'd have better luck meeting someone with similar interests in real life through church or something (I deleted my profile this week). Maybe I'll end up alone, but at least I won't be settling.
Regarding the poster above, I also think there's a vast difference between being "desperate" for a relationship, and simply venting one's frustrations in a relationship forum. OLD has a learning curve, so obviously people are going to vent, ask questions, or share their experiences.
I don't get their logic at all, saying that women are frustrated because of sleeping with men online? I never slept with a man I met doing online, I never even kissed any of them. A few came to hug me and I told them handshakes but that's about it.
First of all, drop the attitude. Second, you said you messages five guys in 48 hours. So no, you didn't message a lot of guys. That's not enough.
Actually, for a woman, yes it is. I learned this the hard way over the weekend. I'm 8 for 12 on the messages I sent out and I'm starting to get confused. Of course, I send messages that let the guy know I actually read his profile, and not just "hi." It also seems that a lot of men only need a wink or a rating to take the ball and run with it, as I'm 4 for 6 on those.
my observation is okcupid is full of fat, unattractive women. POF has better looking women but good luck on them messaging you back. oh and 80% of the ladies on that site has children! one word of advice delete the profiles and go out and find a woman. these sites are extremely frustrating
my observation is okcupid is full of fat, unattractive women. POF has better looking women but good luck on them messaging you back. oh and 80% of the ladies on that site has children! one word of advice delete the profiles and go out and find a woman. these sites are extremely frustrating
I noticed POF has a lot of baby mamas/daddies. I mean who wants to date someone with kids by different people they never married?
I don't get their logic at all, saying that women are frustrated because of sleeping with men online? I never slept with a man I met doing online, I never even kissed any of them. A few came to hug me and I told them handshakes but that's about it.
Going back to the job analogy...
If you aren't desperate for a job and you only sent 5 applications, should u really be surprised and frustrated no employers called back?
Well if you aren't desperate for a relationship, then you should be fine messaging 5 guys per month or whatever.
However, you also shouldn't be complaining because after all, you only sent out 5 messages AND you aren't desperate for relationship. Am I right?
I know you think you're awfully clever, but no, I'm not desperate for a relationship. If I was, why would I have deleted my profile? Hell, why would I be hanging out on C-D instead of spending all my free time at singles events? If I were desperate for a relationship I would be on every available OLD, speed dating, going to bars, pestering all my friends to set me up. But no, I'm living my life, going to grad school, and OLD was a convenient way to put myself out there.
It's called venting, ever hear of it?
I haven't had a serious relationship in several years, and I'm fine with that. If I meet someone, great. But my life does not revolve around finding the mythical "one" and I'm busy with other pursuits.
I know you think you're awfully clever, but no, I'm not desperate for a relationship. If I was, why would I have deleted my profile? Hell, why would I be hanging out on C-D instead of spending all my free time at singles events? If I were desperate for a relationship I would be on every available OLD, speed dating, going to bars, pestering all my friends to set me up. But no, I'm living my life, going to grad school, and OLD was a convenient way to put myself out there.
It's called venting, ever hear of it?
I haven't had a serious relationship in several years, and I'm fine with that. If I meet someone, great. But my life does not revolve around finding the mythical "one" and I'm busy with other pursuits.
Ok so you prefer to sit on the computer and "vent" all day instead of changing how you approach things such as going to singles events, going out to meet people more, etc.
Got it.
And you claim to be "living your life" yet venting on C-D? Got it.
I guess this is where the genders might be different, to me that is a lot, I don't find all men interchangeable that I will want to message a lot of men just to end up with one in the crowd. There has to be something unique in though individuals profile that made me want to reach out.
Maybe we women are going about it the wrong way, but, that's just seems how we do things in general.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cotocatmom
I know what you mean. A lot of guys seem to think it's a numbers game, but for me it's about compatibility. If I message 20 guys I could probably get a date with half of them, but it doesn't mean in reality that there's even 20 guys on the site I find attractive or have similar interests/beliefs with to bother messaging! For me it wasn't about fearing rejection, it was about the quality of people. If I want just any random guy from online dating, I could make it happen, but I don't want to. I'd rather find someone compatible that I find at least moderately attractive, or else I'd rather stay single. I have a great life and I'm happy, I'd rather stay the way I am than settle for any warm body. I guess it depends how selective you want to be. Personally I'd rather be selective than not.
Like someone above said, most of the messages I got were from completely random dudes who had nothing in common with me.. I doubt they read my profile and probably just looked at my photos and decided I was hot. I don't want that. I only replied to the people who had similar things in common (faith, wanting/not wanting kids, similar income/background, live reasonably close by etc) and took the time to send me a nice message that was more than a few words long. If it was a numbers game, I probably could've gone out with the 100 other random dudes that sent me messages saying "sup"... But I'd rather not...
Exactly. There've been several who I initially thought about messaging but when I read further, something came up that prevented me from doing so-they answered "no" to "Are you happy with your life?", "yes" to God being the most important thing in their life, they are looking for someone to have children with, they are opposed to gay people are the big ones.
The latest ones to contact me are a 51-year-old drug and alcohol addict and a 55-year-old looking for bi-friends (clearly did NOT read my profile) for his new lady friend he met on the site. The seemingly nice, normal guys look but don't message nor do they respond when I message them. *shrugs*
I noticed POF has a lot of baby mamas/daddies. I mean who wants to date someone with kids by different people they never married?
Not me! Some people don't mind though.
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Of course, I send messages that let the guy know I actually read his profile, and not just "hi." It also seems that a lot of men only need a wink or a rating to take the ball and run with it, as I'm 4 for 6 on those.
