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First of all, drop the attitude. Second, you said you messages five guys in 48 hours. So no, you didn't message a lot of guys. That's not enough.
I guess this is where the genders might be different, to me that is a lot, I don't find all men interchangeable that I will want to message a lot of men just to end up with one in the crowd. There has to be something unique in though individuals profile that made me want to reach out.
Maybe we women are going about it the wrong way, but, that's just seems how we do things in general.
I guess this is where the genders might be different, to me that is a lot, I don't find all men interchangeable that I will want to message a lot of men just to end up with one in the crowd. There has to be something unique in though individuals profile that made me want to reach out.
Maybe we women are going about it the wrong way, but, that's just seems how we do things in general.
If you're unemployed and you send out your resume to five companies, is that a lot? Men often send out 20, 30, 40 messages just to get one reply. I'm sorry but five is next to nothing.
If you're unemployed and you send out your resume to five companies, is that a lot? Men often send out 20, 30, 40 messages just to get one reply. I'm sorry but five is next to nothing.
I don't classify them the same, I can't imagine doing so, even more so since I'm not on that kind of a search. That sounds rather life or death, do or die. Maybe if I thought every man was just like the next and then, why would I even bother with on line if I thought that, wouldn't I be looking to target certain qualities that I find attractive to me. I would hate to think he took a throw of a dart at a board and that is how he connected with me. I just as well walk outside and grab on to the next stranger walking down the street.
You men are so weird. LOL, but, I'm not mad at you, if that's what is working for you I'm happy for you.
Okay, I finally did it, opened up a profile on POF, and I've been completely inundated by messages from people that I have absolutely NOTHING in common with, its as if they didn't read my profile AT ALL, its almost as if they just looked at my picture and probably 50 other womens' pictures, and just threw out their net, so to speak.
I was expecting that kind of thing, and keeping in mind the opinion of most of the men here, have tried to reply to each and every one of the messages, with at least 'something'. But, then, I will sometimes get the guys back, seconds later, trying to chat me up, when, as I pointed out, we have nothing in common.
Now, listen, I understand everyone WANTS a result, but when you just throw out your net without actually paying attention to what you're doing, you may just be setting yourself up for failure.
I don't classify them the same, I can't imagine doing so, even more so since I'm not on that kind of a search. That sounds rather life or death, do or die. Maybe if I thought every man was just like the next and then, why would I even bother with on line if I thought that, wouldn't I be looking to target certain qualities that I find attractive to me. I would hate to think he took a throw of a dart at a board and that is how he connected with me. I just as well walk outside and grab on to the next stranger walking down the street.
You men are so weird. LOL, but, I'm not mad at you, if that's what is working for you I'm happy for you.
Sorry but they are the same. You still get rejected, you still have to put yourself out there. Five is not enough.
First of all, drop the attitude. Second, you said you messages five guys in 48 hours. So no, you didn't message a lot of guys. That's not enough.
It's not attitude, it's a question. I messaged five in the days before I made the first OP, which was several weeks ago. In the time since to the time I deleted my profile, I messaged several others, probably around 20-25, which is plenty considering how few men "matched" my interests and perspectives about life.
As for your other analogy, if I was unemployed I would be desperate for a job, so I might send out 100 resumes. I'm not desperate for a relationship, and certainly not a relationship with someone who only meets the criteria of a warm body and a penis, so no I'm not going to message any and everyone on OLD.
I see you believe they are the same, I'm not trying to convince you otherwise.
I know what you mean. A lot of guys seem to think it's a numbers game, but for me it's about compatibility. If I message 20 guys I could probably get a date with half of them, but it doesn't mean in reality that there's even 20 guys on the site I find attractive or have similar interests/beliefs with to bother messaging! For me it wasn't about fearing rejection, it was about the quality of people. If I want just any random guy from online dating, I could make it happen, but I don't want to. I'd rather find someone compatible that I find at least moderately attractive, or else I'd rather stay single. I have a great life and I'm happy, I'd rather stay the way I am than settle for any warm body. I guess it depends how selective you want to be. Personally I'd rather be selective than not.
Like someone above said, most of the messages I got were from completely random dudes who had nothing in common with me.. I doubt they read my profile and probably just looked at my photos and decided I was hot. I don't want that. I only replied to the people who had similar things in common (faith, wanting/not wanting kids, similar income/background, live reasonably close by etc) and took the time to send me a nice message that was more than a few words long. If it was a numbers game, I probably could've gone out with the 100 other random dudes that sent me messages saying "sup"... But I'd rather not...
It's not attitude, it's a question. I messaged five in the days before I made the first OP, which was several weeks ago. In the time since to the time I deleted my profile, I messaged several others, probably around 20-25, which is plenty considering how few men "matched" my interests and perspectives about life.
As for your other analogy, if I was unemployed I would be desperate for a job, so I might send out 100 resumes. I'm not desperate for a relationship, and certainly not a relationship with someone who only meets the criteria of a warm body and a penis, so no I'm not going to message any and everyone on OLD.
Well if you aren't desperate for a relationship, then you should be fine messaging 5 guys per month or whatever.
However, you also shouldn't be complaining because after all, you only sent out 5 messages AND you aren't desperate for relationship. Am I right?
I know what you mean. A lot of guys seem to think it's a numbers game, but for me it's about compatibility. If I message 20 guys I could probably get a date with half of them, but it doesn't mean in reality that there's even 20 guys on the site I find attractive or have similar interests/beliefs with to bother messaging! For me it wasn't about fearing rejection, it was about the quality of people. If I want just any random guy from online dating, I could make it happen, but I don't want to. I'd rather find someone compatible that I find at least moderately attractive, or else I'd rather stay single. I have a great life and I'm happy, I'd rather stay the way I am than settle for any warm body. I guess it depends how selective you want to be. Personally I'd rather be selective than not.
Like someone above said, most of the messages I got were from completely random dudes who had nothing in common with me.. I doubt they read my profile and probably just looked at my photos and decided I was hot. I don't want that. I only replied to the people who had similar things in common (faith, wanting/not wanting kids, similar income/background, live reasonably close by etc) and took the time to send me a nice message that was more than a few words long. If it was a numbers game, I probably could've gone out with the 100 other random dudes that sent me messages saying "sup"... But I'd rather not...
Here's a food for thought:
Perhaps out of the 20 messages you got, and you screened out 15 of them and allowed 5 of them right?
Guess what? Those 5 guys probably messages hundreds of women.
So in the world of online dating, someone has to be the fisherman so to speak.
Just because you think you might be compatible, the guy on the other end is really just sending out hundreds of messages to women. He might not even think you are compatible. He might just want you for a quick lay. Based on how deceptive he is, he might just get it.
And based on how "frustrated" women on C-D are...I would venture out to say that many guys managed to accomplish their goals of getting quick lays.
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