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To me, deliberately stating you don't want to get used or don't want a hook-up is telling the person, "Oh, here's someone who's easy to fool...just look, she's obviously done this so many times that she thinks she needs to figure out some way to keep it from happening."
That may be cynical of me. I don't know. But I wouldn't put that on a profile. Honestly, for someone who does want another notch in his belt, that will be a calling card, IMO. You'll be a challenge to pump-'n-dump. Just be smart and don't jump right into bed with the guy, and feel out his personality first. I get that some people find it hard to tell when a person is just being a user, BUT in that case just saying "please don't use me" won't prevent it from happening. You need to get smart about it and figure out who's for real and who's not.
To me, deliberately stating you don't want to get used or don't want a hook-up is telling the person, "Oh, here's someone who's easy to fool...just look, she's obviously done this so many times that she thinks she needs to figure out some way to keep it from happening."
That may be cynical of me. I don't know. But I wouldn't put that on a profile. Honestly, for someone who does want another notch in his belt, that will be a calling card, IMO. You'll be a challenge to pump-'n-dump. Just be smart and don't jump right into bed with the guy, and feel out his personality first. I get that some people find it hard to tell when a person is just being a user, BUT in that case just saying "please don't use me" won't prevent it from happening. You need to get smart about it and figure out who's for real and who's not.
How do you say/express it then? I'm seriously not looking for a hookup.
To me, deliberately stating you don't want to get used or don't want a hook-up is telling the person, "Oh, here's someone who's easy to fool...just look, she's obviously done this so many times that she thinks she needs to figure out some way to keep it from happening."
That may be cynical of me. I don't know. But I wouldn't put that on a profile. Honestly, for someone who does want another notch in his belt, that will be a calling card, IMO. You'll be a challenge to pump-'n-dump. Just be smart and don't jump right into bed with the guy, and feel out his personality first. I get that some people find it hard to tell when a person is just being a user, BUT in that case just saying "please don't use me" won't prevent it from happening. You need to get smart about it and figure out who's for real and who's not.
You must be a man. To think that a woman who says she's not looking for sex is easy to use is an insult to women's intelligence.
I know game and lies when I see it right away, and I let me know directly what I'm looking for. If they still try to run game, I send them packing. Men on dating sites can handle me because I give them a hard run for their money.
Men don't always come right out and say they want sex. They will message and say, "What are you doing?" or "Wyd?" Men who ask this question are looking to engage a woman in sex chat 100% of the time. They figure if you say you aren't doing anything, you are willing to engage their sex fantasies or send them nude pics.
I should start screen capturing and posting the messages men send me. It really is disgusting.
That's a (kinda offensive) broad-brush statement about straight woman and homosexual men.
People are individuals. Leave them to make their own choices.
No offense to gay men or straight women. I've spent a lot of time partying and hanging with gay men. And the way they hook up, straight women don't normally do. Not saying it's a bad thing, but it works for gay men in a way that doesn't work for straight women.
For example, and this was according to my gay male friends, they could go to a club, hook up and have sex with the guy the same night, even in the club bathroom and end up in a serious relationship. I told them straight women are held to a different standard by straight men, and while they want easy sex from us, they don't value/respect us or want a relationship with us after we give it to them. Of course there are always exceptions, but still.
Other straight women could relate and would mostly agree with me. There is a sexual inhibition that gay men can express with each other that straight women can't always express with straight men because of societal double standards.
That's a (kinda offensive) broad-brush statement about straight woman and homosexual men.
People are individuals. Leave them to make their own choices.
I don't think that she was trying to negatively stereotype gay men, nor was I. We've already said in this thread that men and women approach things differently, and gay men are men so that includes them too.
No offense to gay men or straight women. I've spent a lot of time partying and hanging with gay men. And the way they hook up, straight women don't normally do. Not saying it's a bad thing, but it works for gay men in a way that doesn't work for straight women.
For example, and this was according to my gay male friends, they could go to a club, hook up and have sex with the guy the same night, even in the club bathroom and end up in a serious relationship. I told them straight women are held to a different standard by straight men, and while they want easy sex from us, they don't value/respect us or want a relationship with us after we give it to them. Of course there are always exceptions, but still.
Yeah, but not ALL gay men do, or ALL straight women don't. How about just treating people... I dunno... like individuals? Just a suggestion. I mean, I'm evidence that not ALL straight are trying to just get laid. I know that's not worth anything, but I dunno. Keep an open mind... or don't... your call.
Yeah, but not ALL gay men do, or ALL straight women don't. How about just treating people... I dunno... like individuals? Just a suggestion.
I never said ALL. But how gay men hook up isn't the norm for straight women. I really don't know how I can explain it to you without you assuming I'm making generalizations.
I don't think that she was trying to negatively stereotype gay men, nor was I. We've already said in this thread that men and women approach things differently, and gay men are men so that includes them too.
Exactly. And I never said how gay men use Grindr was bad. It's just not how straight women normally operate.
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