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I don't know a single person who wants a long term relationship without marriage and/or kids down the line. Anythings possible I guess but not probable.
Seriously? I know quite a few non-married childless couples.
However for the OP, the more difficult one might be a long-term relationship while living apart (whether in the same area or an LDR). Without marriage or kids keeping a relationship going (obviously that doesn't work perfectly either) then propinquity would be your next bet. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propinquity
Now, don't say you only want to see them every month or less...that will take your sample down to something that is really like a FWB - is that okay with you or is monogamy a requirement?
yes, I guess that's why they're always looking for someone "new", or the "next" person...when eventually that will get old too. I guess that's why I'm single. I never got that, having to have someone else, or "needing" someone...
I know how you feel, Overall If I never meet a girl who shares my beliefs and I end up alone for the rest of my life, I am prepared for it, I am a introvert by nature and value my space and time away from people. even at work some days I don't feel like talking to anyone (Luckily I am the IT in the building and I can go off to parts of the building no one else goes and can be alone for a bit). But I do not need a girlfriend, I would like to have one if she is a good fit, but if it doesn't happen, i wont cry about it.
^yeah, I'm an introvert and am used to being a loner. (which may be one reason relationships are difficult). I guess I'm glad that I like my own company, haha, and independence. It seems the people who are more the relationship type, tend to be needier, and I guess that's why they don't like being single, because they "need", or at least want someone.
I know how you feel, Overall If I never meet a girl who shares my beliefs and I end up alone for the rest of my life, I am prepared for it, I am a introvert by nature and value my space and time away from people. even at work some days I don't feel like talking to anyone (Luckily I am the IT in the building and I can go off to parts of the building no one else goes and can be alone for a bit). But I do not need a girlfriend, I would like to have one if she is a good fit, but if it doesn't happen, i wont cry about it.
Same. I enjoy socialising at times but I can find it exhausting and after a day in work (where like yourself I get alone time when I can) I just want to go home and relax on my own.
When i've been in relationships I feel really trapped which is part-commitment phobia but also because I need that solitude and I can find it exhausting. I still desire intimacy though and shared experiences and emotions with someone I care about. It's really tough though for us introverts. For starters it's a lot harder for us to attract a mate in the first place than it is for the extroverted jock.
When in a relationship the girl struggles to understand why I don't want to be with her all the time, or enough of the time. I'd rather go without than get that trapped feeling, plus there's a lot of negative emotions that go with relationships as well once you catch feelings.
It's hard for us to get what we're looking for and what we need, so we tend to be single indefinitely.
Same. I enjoy socialising at times but I can find it exhausting and after a day in work (where like yourself I get alone time when I can) I just want to go home and relax on my own.
When i've been in relationships I feel really trapped which is part-commitment phobia but also because I need that solitude and I can find it exhausting. I still desire intimacy though and shared experiences and emotions with someone I care about. It's really tough though for us introverts. For starters it's a lot harder for us to attract a mate in the first place than it is for the extroverted jock.
me too. that's probably why I didn't really date much until a few years ago, when I didn't have work or school or anything. I would rather have a personal life, then work and be too exhausted or stressed out to have a life or relationship. but, of course most people don't want to date someone that doesn't do anything. :/
Quote:
It's hard for us to get what we're looking for and what we need, so we tend to be single indefinitely.
At your age, no girl worths your salt would agree to those 3 conditions. At my age, already been married before and had my kid, I'd definitely open to a committed relationship without marriage/kids/cohabitation. Ideally, he'd live on the same block, and we'd spend time at each other's house or get a "his/her" night alone occasionally as needed.
that is my fear, it seems there is a step that I would have to wait for most woman to go through before they would be open to how i feel about a relationship.
What is this thing you call a "sedate married couple?"
It's the type of couple I've seen everybody and their brother turn into. was my reaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gazzaa2
When in a relationship the girl struggles to understand why I don't want to be with her all the time, or enough of the time. I'd rather go without than get that trapped feeling, plus there's a lot of negative emotions that go with relationships as well once you catch feelings.
Exactly. Not only do all relationships turn boring sooner or later, I can safely say that my SO will require me to be joined at the hip with her 24/7/365. is what I got to say about it.
Seriously? I know quite a few non-married childless couples.
However for the OP, the more difficult one might be a long-term relationship while living apart (whether in the same area or an LDR). Without marriage or kids keeping a relationship going (obviously that doesn't work perfectly either) then propinquity would be your next bet. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Propinquity
Now, don't say you only want to see them every month or less...that will take your sample down to something that is really like a FWB - is that okay with you or is monogamy a requirement?
Good to hear more examples of what I am hoping for one day. propinquity is an interesting concept that I am not familiar with but going by the definition would be something i would be open to in the right circumstance. FWB does not interest me, I want a committed relationship.
I have never considered online dating, but you make a good point it makes it easier to weed out what you don't want. thanks for the suggestion!.
Due to your narrow dating pool it would be wise to use any and all tools for maximizing your search. Dating sites allow you to screen and filter your criteria and preferences. This is especially key for individuals with specific criteria that could limit their dating pool. You'll know from the get-go if a woman has or wants children. You'll be able to assess and screen for other criteria as well.
Do dating sites favor women? Absolutely. The same is true for virtually every other social venue that attracts single and available individuals. This is something you need to know going in. Also, at your age you may have a more difficult time finding suitable matches. While I have friends who were decidedly CFBC in their 20s and early 30s, the majority are married or cohabiting. The kind of women that meet your criteria may be difficult to find in the absolute vast majority of cases. You'd have a better chance in metro/large cities in the PNW and NE. Anywhere else you'll face more challenges due to the cultural and social differences and expectations of these regions.
I would suggest the best way to find that is as another poster suggested On Line Dating. I live in CT as well, and when I did OLD, I seen many women, especially the ones that didn't have children, looking for the very thing you are looking for, and complaining about the only guys who wanted them were guys who wanted to get married and have children. Really don't know how many women you are going to find like that any other way, especially if you are an introvert
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was my reaction.
is what I got to say about it.
