Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
First of all, don't "babe" someone you don't even like yet - you'd clearly be talking down to her. And you don't know the definition of garish.
Finally, it's not "rude-ish" - it is downright crass to explicitly point out your own correlation between her worth to you and boinking her. The date would be over at that point for me. And it would be pretty intentional on your part because all that drama could be avoided if whoever does the inviting takes 1 minute to pick a place that is within their budget rather than putting that on the person invited. To do that smacks of a "test" - exactly what most men say they revile so much when it comes from women.
Honestly if I were spoken to in that hostile way I would smile, tell him thank you, but I was no longer interested, and would quickly flag the waiter to cancel my order. Then I would say good night and leave.
All of that example was pretty unpalatable but the nasty "babe" thing would be a bridge too far. Anyone who is that angry at me only 10 minutes into the date obviously doesn't want to spend an additional 40 minutes with me while I pick in embarrassment at my appropriate shrimp, worried I might set him off again somehow. Ighhhhhhh, way beyond awkward.
I don’t mind doing activity dates, but it is not always a way to talk and get to know each other for a first or earlier date. Most people in early dates once they are past around age 16 want to know if they have common interests, compatible values and goals, etc. They aren’t going to find that out if they are mountain biking or skiing together.
I think having a huge common passion is a great foundation for an extended relationship. The skiing example you used isn't all that great. Even if two people ski, it is an awful early stage date. Lift tickets are over $100 per day, and if the guy is buying the woman's lift ticket, that's a huge cost if the woman flakes. I know I'm nitpicking here, but skiing is one of those things I'd wait on if I shared a passion for skiing with a woman.
Mountain biking would be amazing first date. First off, it's free. On a mountain bike ride, there are some scenic spots where you could stop, get water, talk and bond. You've got a lot of endorphins going from the exercise, so there's a lot of perceptions of positivity with the other people. If I mountain biked, I would be quite excited to meet a female who enjoyed mountain biking and could ride at a similar level.
One of my great passions in life is playing tennis. I'm a good player. The great thing about tennis is that it can be a very female friendly game. However, due to my skill level, it is difficult for me to find females who play at a similar level. I essentially need to find women who played at the NCAA level in the past. A top level high school player who is still young-ish and has continually played recreationally works too. There was this one time that I met a former NCAA player. I was playing at a public court with a male friend at my level and an ex-NCAA player is there hitting around with her friends who are not nearly at her level. I find my way over to introduce myself and she's impressed with me. We do go out and eventually play tennis together. We also have another date. However, some of her behavior was flaky and erratic (canceling and re-scheduling dates), excuses, and drama. We ended things with an unpleasant text exchange. We didn't have sex. I was really disappointed in the way that whole thing unfolded because there was a great possibility we could have built something meaningful around that.
Since you don't mountain bike maybe the hypothetical should be you biking at her level
Maybe it should be. I think biking is a solid sport, I just never had the time to get into it. So I've never asked anyone out on a mountain biking date. That's also a hard date to do logistically if you have two people working a fairly standard Monday-Friday schedule. You are looking at a day date on either a Saturday or a Sunday.
With tennis, if you can find a court with lights and the weather is semi-decent, you can easily do a weeknight after work date, plus weekends. If the tennis court happens to be near some bars, you could play tennis and walk to a bar afterwards. On a slow weeknight, it wouldn't be all that odd to have drinks at a bar wearing tennis attire. Theoretically, the racquets could be stored in a parked car near the courts while you two were enjoying drinks. Tennis is way easier logistical first date than mountain biking.
This was right after I had ordered an $18 Halibut..So yeah. I didn't say anything to her as I wanted to be polite, but ouch that's a punch to my wallet.
Tonight was our first dinner together and she didn't offer to help pay the bill either. To be fair she did offer me a piece, and also it is Valentines and I am the one who asked her out. She was excited about going out too..
I'm torn on why the sticker shock is bugging me, I keep thinking about it. I feel like the date was fun and she is incredible in a lot of ways and I find her attractive.. but I'm kinda feeling put off a bit too about it...
I paid for the bill. My concern isn't that I paid. I'm glad to do something nice for her.
My concern is I feel she wasn't considerate at all, and it is weighing on my mind. I'm sorting out my feelings right now. I find her attractive in many ways, but that was a big turn off :/
Let me guess, this girl is kind of an Omarosa/Beyonce/Keke Palmer/Taraji P. Henson type?
I know you were trying to impress this chick by taking her somewhere nice on your first date, but like others have said, you should have taken her someplace that didnt have items on the menu out of your price range. Secondly, this shows a LOT about the class (or lack thereof) of this chick by ordering the one of the most expensive things on the menu. Most women I know, out of common courtesy would NEVER do such a thing on the first date. This screams to me of lack of class and ignorance. Just saying. Unless you really really really want to bang this chick, I'd say dont offer her a second date.
Maybe it should be. I think biking is a solid sport, I just never had the time to get into it. So I've never asked anyone out on a mountain biking date. That's also a hard date to do logistically if you have two people working a fairly standard Monday-Friday schedule. You are looking at a day date on either a Saturday or a Sunday.
With tennis, if you can find a court with lights and the weather is semi-decent, you can easily do a weeknight after work date, plus weekends. If the tennis court happens to be near some bars, you could play tennis and walk to a bar afterwards. On a slow weeknight, it wouldn't be all that odd to have drinks at a bar wearing tennis attire. Theoretically, the racquets could be stored in a parked car near the courts while you two were enjoying drinks. Tennis is way easier logistical first date than mountain biking.
Yes...adversarial activities are really romantic...I guess you'd just be lobbing the ball back and forth rather than actively competing with her? However the odds that you both enjoy tennis are somewhat low - and likely not important enough to use it to rule out a relationship. Though few women want to get sweaty even on a "non-date"...I suppose some guys would use not wanting to get sweaty at a first meeting to assume sex would be out so yeah, good way to throw someone on the reject pile with no expense upfront.
Perhaps a walk in a park or downtown area...or going to an amusement park or public concert? You don't have to get coffee or drinks...how about smoothies or ice cream?
Maybe it should be. I think biking is a solid sport, I just never had the time to get into it. So I've never asked anyone out on a mountain biking date. That's also a hard date to do logistically if you have two people working a fairly standard Monday-Friday schedule. You are looking at a day date on either a Saturday or a Sunday.
With tennis, if you can find a court with lights and the weather is semi-decent, you can easily do a weeknight after work date, plus weekends. If the tennis court happens to be near some bars, you could play tennis and walk to a bar afterwards. On a slow weeknight, it wouldn't be all that odd to have drinks at a bar wearing tennis attire. Theoretically, the racquets could be stored in a parked car near the courts while you two were enjoying drinks. Tennis is way easier logistical first date than mountain biking.
I don’t think that doing an activity date would be bad for a later date, but I think for a *first* date, a coffee/drink/dinner date is not a bad option. I am female and usually pay for myself on dates, but I absolutely get bored and think it’s a waste of money to be going out to dinner and a movie on date after date. I’d much rather go hiking/visit a state or local park, find a free festival, explore a part of town I haven’t seen, etc. I do love to try new restaurants, but I am just as happy to try a food truck as an expensive place.
This screams to me of lack of class and ignorance. Just saying. Unless you really really really want to bang this chick, I'd say dont offer her a second date.
Yes...adversarial activities are really romantic...I guess you'd just be lobbing the ball back and forth rather than actively competing with her? However the odds that you both enjoy tennis are somewhat low - and likely not important enough to use it to rule out a relationship. Though few women want to get sweaty even on a "non-date"...I suppose some guys would use not wanting to get sweaty at a first meeting to assume sex would be out so yeah, good way to throw someone on the reject pile with no expense upfront.
Perhaps a walk in a park or downtown area...or going to an amusement park or public concert? You don't have to get coffee or drinks...how about smoothies or ice cream?
In my experience, hikes, bike rides, roller blading, volley ball, etc...have been fine first dates
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
