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This was right after I had ordered an $18 Halibut..So yeah. I didn't say anything to her as I wanted to be polite, but ouch that's a punch to my wallet.
Tonight was our first dinner together and she didn't offer to help pay the bill either. To be fair she did offer me a piece, and also it is Valentines and I am the one who asked her out. She was excited about going out too..
I'm torn on why the sticker shock is bugging me, I keep thinking about it. I feel like the date was fun and she is incredible in a lot of ways and I find her attractive.. but I'm kinda feeling put off a bit too about it...
I paid for the bill. My concern isn't that I paid. I'm glad to do something nice for her.
My concern is I feel she wasn't considerate at all, and it is weighing on my mind. I'm sorting out my feelings right now. I find her attractive in many ways, but that was a big turn off :/
Chose McDonalds or hit the lottery or invent something. LOL Haha, just joking but seriously, ouch. If she is gorgeous -- & she'll marry you -- go for it, but she'll need to work, hehee.
I'd have proposed to her prior to the order arriving & if she said no, sent it back.
I'm sure in my yrs I've lost a few dates this way of paying too much & then no 2nd date or a fizzle out of the relationships soon after. I have no sage advice other than pre-screen dates better. I like women too but my wallet a bit better -- as it NEVER lies, ahem, unlike the opposite sex.
In certain high-end restaurants, menu don't have the prices listed. Also, in those, usually only one person gets the menu with prices. The other gets a menu with no prices.
It could be she had no idea what the price was.
I'm 50 and have known since I was 12 that steak and lobster are the most expensive things on a menu.
Sounds wonderful...but some spoilsports on here would still complain about having to purchase food for the picnic! ...but I'd say you made out very well considering 25 good years!
What's the ROI on elbow mac salad? How about if we add veggies out of season? Too much/too desperate?
Are we allowed to cut costs by using Vanity Fair napkins?
If we are offered either grape juice or wine and we choose the wine should we be tossed in the dating dumpster?
First of all, don't "babe" someone you don't even like yet - you'd clearly be talking down to her. And you don't know the definition of garish.
Finally, it's not "rude-ish" - it is downright crass to explicitly point out your own correlation between her worth to you and boinking her. The date would be over at that point for me. And it would be pretty intentional on your part because all that drama could be avoided if whoever does the inviting takes 1 minute to pick a place that is within their budget rather than putting that on the person invited. To do that smacks of a "test" - exactly what most men say they revile so much when it comes from women.
And I obviously never will know the definition of garish cause you apparently don't know it either lol.
I'll say what I like when I like, you can take it in context or not, that's on you. Yes, Rude-ish, please learn to deal.
I would also never boink her. I don't do women, because I am straight. Have a nice evening though.
P.S. A man can invite me to dinner without having to worry about me ordering lobster and steak. I'm a big girl and we all know that is as high as you can go in most restaurants. I would assume he expects sex if he allowed me to do that.
Hmmmm...a "woman" thinking a good plan would to be to set the woman straight by telling her what the budget for the evening is, and that she can have lobster when she gets "sexually active with you", babe?
Hmmmm...a "woman" thinking a good plan would to be to set the woman straight by telling her what the budget for the evening is, and that she can have lobster when she gets "sexually active with you", babe?
Sounds just like one of our redpill guys.
Why? You don't believe there are righteous women out there anymore?
You don't think this 'babe' would deserve to be told how it is right off?
The OP sounds (at this moment) like a really nice and sweet guy, who is trying to do everything right. It annoys me to see that taken advantage of. I'm sorry if for some reason that would indicate I'm a traitor to my gender.
9.9 people out of 10 have enough sense to be sensitive about these sort of issues. I think most people on a first date type of deal would be sensitive to what they order. I don't recall if the OP was a first date or not, but in general find that most people are cognizant of not ordering something ridiculously expensive if they know someone else is paying the bill.
1.) Choosing Valentine's Day for the first date. It's probably a good mood setter, but many restaurants offer inflated/expensive menus on this date, which is why a lot of established couples take a 'been there, done that' stance on going out to dinner on Valentine's Day.
2.) Not tactfully putting out there that there is a budget for the evening. I might have actually gotten rude. "I know its Valentine's Day, but this is our first meeting, so I would appreciate your trying to impress me with your knowledge that the surf and turf is what you order when we are a sexually active couple. How about some halibut, or maybe the shrimp, babe?"
I know its rude-ish, or you could say garish, but so is her presumption that she would rate so high at a first meeting. It's probably bugging you because you know this is probably true. She is either very innocent, or takes advantage. If she isn't interested in a second date, I'd lean towards 'takes advantage'. If you scheduled a second date, see if she wants a third after an evening at McDonalds.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
First of all, don't "babe" someone you don't even like yet - you'd clearly be talking down to her. And you don't know the definition of garish.
Finally, it's not "rude-ish" - it is downright crass to explicitly point out your own correlation between her worth to you and boinking her. The date would be over at that point for me. And it would be pretty intentional on your part because all that drama could be avoided if whoever does the inviting takes 1 minute to pick a place that is within their budget rather than putting that on the person invited. To do that smacks of a "test" - exactly what most men say they revile so much when it comes from women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser
And I obviously never will know the definition of garish cause you apparently don't know it either lol.
I'll say what I like when I like, you can take it in context or not, that's on you. Yes, Rude-ish, please learn to deal.
I would also never boink her. I don't do women, because I am straight. Have a nice evening though.
P.S. A man can invite me to dinner without having to worry about me ordering lobster and steak. I'm a big girl and we all know that is as high as you can go in most restaurants. I would assume he expects sex if he allowed me to do that.
Definition of garish
1 : clothed in vivid colors a garish clown
2 a : excessively or disturbingly vivid garish colors garish imagery
b : offensively or distressingly bright : glaring
3 : tastelessly showy : flashy garish neon signs
You're only correct if you have synesthesia and hear/speak in color!
Hmmm...there are some guys on here who wouldn't allow you to order such a meal - perhaps you should get with them while wearing a suitably garish outfit for the occasion?
Why? You don't believe there are righteous women out there anymore?
You don't think this 'babe' would deserve to be told how it is right off?
The OP sounds (at this moment) like a really nice and sweet guy, who is trying to do everything right. It annoys me to see that taken advantage of. I'm sorry if for some reason that would indicate I'm a traitor to my gender.
Ha! You ARE a redpill man. This is the 2nd time I've figured that out. Women don't assume other women are users who need to give it up for lobster. Not even kind of a good try there, babe.
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Hmmmm...a "woman" thinking a good plan would to be to set the woman straight by telling her what the budget for the evening is, and that she can have lobster when she gets "sexually active with you", babe?
