My date ordered a $50 lobster and steak combo on our first meal. I'm kind of torn.. (attracted, couples)
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While in a way, I’m not interested in marriage, I do on one level envy those who are in good marriages and know that they have someone they love and trust enough to trust them with the honor of being a spouse. Having someone like that in my life is something I dream of. That is the only reason why I tolerate the dating game I hate with a passion. I want someone who i think the world of to where a $50 dinner is chump change for the impact we have on each other.
Exactly. My first date/dinner date with my gf cost me a lot more than the OP's. Our second dinner date was one year later on the anniversary of our first at the same steakhouse. We've been exclusive since that first date.
I'm sorry for all of the single people here who have to deal with things like this. Makes me glad I am married. Either way I'd rather stay home and eat than go out to a restaurant anyway
With drinks in a bar, the plan is to sit side by side in a bar, touch her leg, run your fingers through her hair, and set up for a kiss. If she reacts well to that, then you can kiss. If not, you need more time to either make that happen, or GTFO.
Even some degree of kissing on a first date doesn't guarantee a second date. There is rationale behind going for sex on the first date.
At dinner, you are more likely to be sitting across from each other, so the escalation tactics are more difficult to implement.
There are no advantages that dinner offers that a drinks date doesn't offer.
Or you could just go to a brothel and not spend so much time on the set-up and have a guaranteed outcome, so to speak.
Don't feel sorry for me... Dealing with " things like this" is only temporary. And ...I don't have to deal with a husband.
Makes me glad I am single.
I can see that. I'm just happy I am married to my best friend. I would rather be single than be in a bad marriage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
While in a way, I’m not interested in marriage, I do on one level envy those who are in good marriages and know that they have someone they love and trust enough to trust them with the honor of being a spouse. Having someone like that in my life is something I dream of. That is the only reason why I tolerate the dating game I hate with a passion. I want someone who i think the world of to where a $50 dinner is chump change for the impact we have on each other.
You'll get there. There is someone good for everyone...somewhere
With drinks in a bar, the plan is to sit side by side in a bar, touch her leg, run your fingers through her hair, and set up for a kiss. If she reacts well to that, then you can kiss. If not, you need more time to either make that happen, or GTFO.
Even some degree of kissing on a first date doesn't guarantee a second date. There is rationale behind going for sex on the first date.
At dinner, you are more likely to be sitting across from each other, so the escalation tactics are more difficult to implement.
There are no advantages that dinner offers that a drinks date doesn't offer.
The OP said this was their first meal together. They might already have been to a bar 25x before. We wouldn’t know, what with him being a one and done poster.
With drinks in a bar, the plan is to sit side by side in a bar, touch her leg, run your fingers through her hair, and set up for a kiss. If she reacts well to that, then you can kiss. If not, you need more time to either make that happen, or GTFO.
Yes, this might not all happen on the first date but that is the general plan. Your date is a lot closer to you and it is much easier to gauge her reaction/level of attraction. You are not eating heavy food which for me makes the situation not sexy already. There is no reason you can' get a few appetizers if anyone is hungry. And it could be an early night bar date when it is not too crowded and crazy in the bar.
Even some degree of kissing on a first date doesn't guarantee a second date. There is rationale behind going for sex on the first date.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
At dinner, you are more likely to be sitting across from each other, so the escalation tactics are more difficult to implement.
There are no advantages that dinner offers that a drinks date doesn't offer.
Exactly. You are sitting far from each other, you might be eating heavy foods, there is nothing inherently sexy about the date. Plus it is expensive and takes forever.
It's weird now people are saying a meal isn't sexy when people have been starting up relationships over meals for centuries.
It isn't all about touching someone's thigh and closing. Some people like to get to know one another. I personally always liked coffee, something casual like that but I had my fair share of lunch or dinner as a first date and if I liked the guy it didn't hinder things one bit, and if I didn't like the guy no amount of kino or blah blah changed that, in fact in that latter case it repelled me. Made things way worse and closed things off for good, no chance at that point.
But not go off the deep end.... The world isn't anti women as you sometimes make it out to be.
Well, if only I had mentioned (approximately nine hundred times over the years so far) that I DON'T feel these views are typical in the non-internet, non-fringe looney-attracting world but rather, are specific to some factions such as we often seem to see on CD-R, then I'll bet this misunderstanding would never have happened.
I've heard the 901st time is the charm, though. Fingers crossed.
Well, if only I had mentioned (approximately nine hundred times over the years so far) that I DON'T feel these views are typical in the non-internet, non-fringe looney-attracting world but rather, are specific to some factions such as we often seem to see on CD-R, then I'll bet this misunderstanding would never have happened..
No offense but....
Gals are wary of getting used for sex.. So guys, don't act like a PUA.
Guys are wary of gold diggers... So gals, don't act like a gold digger.
If you are wary of "looneys"... don't act like one.
We all contribute to setting the tone in a discussion. Don't propagate the wrong tone. It only seeks to attract responses of the so call non-typical views that you get all defensive over. It also shuns away those with moderate views that might otherwise contribute.
We can't read your mind only your actions (postings). Not everyone follows your posts and saw the "nine hundred times" you've mentioned your views outside of CDR. Perception is everything.... one is still responsible for it.
Judging from some of reps I got on that specific post and the one poster that quoted it, I am not the only one.
It's weird now people are saying a meal isn't sexy when people have been starting up relationships over meals for centuries.
Well, having "a few appetizers" if you're hungry at the time you would normally eat a meal called "'dinner" is perfectly fine in Made-Up Dating Rule Book, but do not call that dinner, and if you go home and you don't eat dinner because you've had a few appetizers --oh well I guess you missed dinner . You did not have dinner on a Date, I mean Meet-Up, because it wasn't a date, so there. You met somebody, not online, you saw each other in person, you can't see 'online'. Ask to meet a person, and then you asked to see them in real life. This isn't like real life, IRL you organically grow out of a barstool for apps. Keep up.
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We've been exclusive since that first date. 
