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I tend to see a lot of men involved with women like this. I don't know why, but some men seem to enjoy this. Women who are drama-free are labeled as "boring" or "simple." I knew a lot of plain jane women who worked at the library or school, didn't drink, went to church every Sunday, enjoyed hobbies like reading and knitting; but guys didn't want them. The men wanted an exciting, flashy woman.
Funny thing about this... I often feel like I am exciting and flashy up front, but once people get to know me, I'm rather boring underneath all that.
I do some wild stuff sometimes and I have tons of stories to tell, there are many cool events in my life history that I'm proud to be able to say, "I was there." But in my day to day life, though? I never drink or do drugs, I love driving a minivan and don't want to drive anything faster than that, skiing sounds like a good way to break your neck to me, I enjoy building spreadsheets, doing research, preparing taxes and financial statements (seriously I find this fun) and more often than not when I get home from work, I just want to take a nice nap. In fact, I'd say that naps are probably among my top 5 favorite ways to spend my time.
Like woo hoo I'm such a party animal. lol
But I love my colorful communities and I know hundreds of interesting people. So what happens is, I get into these groups, and inevitably they find out "Hey...she's a responsible adult! Let's put her in charge of stuff!" and then I wind up in a leadership role and doing a ton of work. Somehow I manage to make even the most fun of excursions and activities, into this situation where I'm the boring adult taking responsibility. I am the perpetual designated driver. The manager on duty. The one who helps make sure that everyone can have a good time without ending up in jail or the hospital.
I actually don't mind drama so long as it is kept at a safe distance. Like, not in my house, preferably. Out there in social groups at a certain distance, it can be entertaining. Rather like the children of extended relatives, you can visit and enjoy them and then leave them to their parents and go home to peace and quiet. "I called you an Uber, my drunk friend. It's been fun. Now you're not my problem. I'm going home. I need a nap."
Sorry to disagree with most, I think, but I think I know exactly what is meant by "no drama" or drama queens. Although this does not apply to myself and dating, as I have been happily married for 35 years, my daughter is a true "drama queen", whose every little complaint, illness, or relationship blip is worthy of a soap opera -- or at least an hour of someone's time to listen to her talk about it. I would think the phrase, "turning a molehill into a mountain" would have been invented to describe this tendency of hers, if not for the fact that the phrase was known even when I was a girl.
She is 28, but I think she has the emotional restraint and maturity of the average 13-year-old!
(Sorry for the rant/vent.)
P.S. I also think it means that people don't want to cope with ongoing problems with exes, children, relatives, finances, health, etc., etc., etc. In short, I think most people just want relationships that are "easy".
It's 2019 and not 1989, which means most men know how human attraction works. So it's safe to say that "no drama" is often code for "no dominance tests". For example, one partner suggests a series of restaurant types for dinner. (e.g. burger, sushi, Chinese, Mexican, and so on) The other partner vetoes them all, under a series of pretexts: "I ate [type1] yesterday", "[type2] is nasty", "all you want is [type 3]", none of which are allergies or medicals. Sometimes, that's done to find out how the first partner will react, rather than out of sincere dislike for all their choices, and subconsciously to boot. Reason being to separate the strong from the weak, then go with the strong and dump the weak.
Men hate that! But because saying "no dominance tests" is politically incorrect, "no drama" becomes an acceptable substitute.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 07-23-2019 at 08:30 PM..
It's 2019 and not 1989, which means most men know how human attraction works. So it's safe to say that "no drama" is often code for "no dominance tests". For example, one partner suggests a series of restaurant types for dinner. (e.g. burger, sushi, Chinese, Mexican, and so on) The other partner vetoes them all, under a series of pretexts: "I ate [type1] yesterday", "[type2] is nasty", "all you want is [type 3]", none of which are allergies or medicals. Sometimes, that's done to find out how the first partner will react, rather than out of sincere dislike for all their choices, and subconsciously to boot. Reason being to separate the strong from the weak, then go with the strong and dump the weak.
Men hate that! But because saying "no dominance tests" is politically incorrect, "no drama" becomes an acceptable substitute.
No dominance tests? Okay, before I judge I will ask if you have any additional examples of a “dominance test.” The “where to eat” one is more a comical nuisance that couples can actually laugh about together. So what else constitutes a “dominance test?”
So far, most men I dated who stated "no drama" in their profile were actually drama.
Maybe they were mirroring....
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