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It was a very shocked stunned nooooooooooo. But that was because it was a surprise. He needed to have not given an ultimatum, you tell someone and ask them to consider it, say it's really important to him, etc etc.
Anyway I had gone around to his to have a fun birthday day that was all. Ah well. Lots of lessons learnt.
I have a feeling that the cloakroom thing would have just been the beginning. If you would have gone along with this idea then I'll bet that the next situation would have been a little riskier which must give him some kind of thrill. I remember a couple in a building where I used to work who would go out into the parking lot at lunch break and have sex in her car in broad daylight on occasion (I didn't observe this first hand but that's what I was told). Anyway, I definitely think you made the right decision and I'm sure that the overwhelming majority of women would agree with you.
Hi MontanaGuy, that is the only thing I can think too, i.e. that maybe it was an easier request, so by me saying no to that one, then anything more wilder (which he may know he wants but didnt share) then obviously I'd not be up for it.
But the lack of proper clarity or discussion is just so selfish, leaves me with so many unanswered questions, what ifs, maybes, etc.
It would have helped me hugely to know if it was something like say Boris Becker (tennis guy) doing it on the stairs of a restaurant, then say I know its definitely not for me, ha ha. But just not knowing is cruel, very cruel and selfish. #Sigh#
Thank you everyone, it's reassuring to know that I'm just not going mad with this whole thing or how or what was done. You're all great.
Last edited by sunflower888; 04-14-2010 at 02:23 PM..
I have a feeling that the cloakroom thing would have just been the beginning. If you would have gone along with this idea then I'll bet that the next situation would have been a little riskier which must give him some kind of thrill. I remember a couple in a building where I used to work who would go out into the parking lot at lunch break and have sex in her car in broad daylight on occasion (I didn't observe this first hand but that's what I was told). Anyway, I definitely think you made the right decision and I'm sure that the overwhelming majority of women would agree with you.
I was about to say the same thing. I had a boyfriend like that years ago, and at first I gave in to some of his demands, but it got worse and I finally had to break it off b/c I was so uncomfortable with the whole thing and it was really hard for me to get into it when I was so worried that we'd be seen. He wasn't exactly mean about it, but he was very persistent. Yikes, never again.
Stepka - thank you for sharing that, its a real help to know that was so similar. My issue has been also because I just dont know what the things really were, and am left guessing, which has been torture.
I'm new to these forums.... I need some advice, can anyone help....
I was seeing a guy, and deeply in love with him. He said he wanted to do some more sexual things, than the type I really wanted to do. He asked it on my birthday and when I said no, then at the end of the day broke up with me on my birthday apparently due to that. He said we would be friends either way, and I met up with him one time after, but then after he said it was too hard for him to be in contact with him. Now I am treated like I dont exist. Though I got a Christmas card from him, but nothing for my birthday in February, not even a text. It makes me wonder if that whole time I was just used.
And yes, I realise now I gave too much of myself without seeing and safeguarding the sitaution in full before I did. I feel awful now, and just dont know what was true or not.
Does anyone have advice on how you can tell? As I have no peace of mind.
Thanks
You already know the answer to your question - you were being used.
The good news is, you can learn from this going forward and make damn sure no guy ever does this to you again
I'm new to these forums.... I need some advice, can anyone help....
I was seeing a guy, and deeply in love with him. He said he wanted to do some more sexual things, than the type I really wanted to do. He asked it on my birthday and when I said no, then at the end of the day broke up with me on my birthday apparently due to that. He said we would be friends either way, and I met up with him one time after, but then after he said it was too hard for him to be in contact with him. Now I am treated like I dont exist. Though I got a Christmas card from him, but nothing for my birthday in February, not even a text. It makes me wonder if that whole time I was just used.
And yes, I realise now I gave too much of myself without seeing and safeguarding the sitaution in full before I did. I feel awful now, and just dont know what was true or not.
Does anyone have advice on how you can tell? As I have no peace of mind.
Thanks
It sure sounds like you were used. It happens sometimes and no matter how hard you try to screen them, one always slips through. I have been there, done that and wish you the best. BTW, at least he didn't steal your boxer shorts and your sock! WTH?????LMAO.......
Last edited by 2RUGGED4YOU; 04-14-2010 at 06:19 PM..
Sometimes with the right person, in the right place something called spontaneous can happen.. Well search up Woody Allen's movies to see what I mean. I would tell you the name of that flick, bit it fails to come to me this instant.
One side of a story sometimes leaves me lacking.
Once I got caught in the act, but by a skunck... really
Back then this act was called grassin'. Never hear of it anymore.
Sometimes gals that are like you seem to be hung up on sex, and it making the relationship, when by the time you enter the 3rd marriage you will know different.
I can't judge, and haven't so take nothing personal. If anything hurts you need to look with in yourself.
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