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There has GOT to be men out there that actually mean what they say and are sincere.
I know there must be, as I have brothers who I know are good guys, and a few guy friends too who I know are good catches for the right girl. They are all good characters, respectful to all, good qualities all around.
I just cant get my head around how I loved him, him me, and he would just walk away without talking it through properly, saying "I dont love you enough". I needed to talk to him, and he refused, leaves me gutted, it's the disconnect, lack of closure that has caused me the problem. The abandonment is just awful and not even talking it through fully.
I know there must be, as I have brothers who I know are good guys, and a few guy friends too who I know are good catches for the right girl. They are all good characters, respectful to all, good qualities all around.
I just cant get my head around how I loved him, him me, and he would just walk away without talking it through properly, saying "I dont love you enough". I needed to talk to him, and he refused, leaves me gutted, it's the disconnect, lack of closure that has caused me the problem. The abandonment is just awful and not even talking it through fully.
Perhaps there is some way that you can reach him? Have you tried going to his house/apartment?
I just cant get my head around how I loved him, him me, and he would just walk away without talking it through properly, saying "I dont love you enough". I needed to talk to him, and he refused, leaves me gutted, it's the disconnect, lack of closure that has caused me the problem. The abandonment is just awful and not even talking it through fully.
Just accept that all he wanted from you was sex. And that he lied and told you that he loved you, when all he felt for you was lust. And guy like that don't care about closure, or even admitting that he lied in order to get you into bed. All he cared about was fulfilling his physical needs, so why would he care about your emotional needs?
And maybe he is pissed at himself that he wasted so much time on you and didn't score with you. So the last thing he wants to do is take the time is try to make you feel better about the situation. If he is avoiding you now, it's because he's too busy trying to bed another woman or women.
Move on. This guy was a jerk. And unfortunately, there are a lot of men that are the same way. They are only interested in the physical side of a relationship, and they will do and say anything in order to have sex. Count yourself very lucky that he wasn't able to have sex with you. And because he didn't have sex with you, you weren't used. And if you had had sex with him, he would have left you eventually, and you would actually be feeling even worse over the breakup.
I'm new to these forums.... I need some advice, can anyone help....
I was seeing a guy, and deeply in love with him. He said he wanted to do some more sexual things, than the type I really wanted to do. He asked it on my birthday and when I said no, then at the end of the day broke up with me on my birthday apparently due to that. He said we would be friends either way, and I met up with him one time after, but then after he said it was too hard for him to be in contact with him. Now I am treated like I dont exist. Though I got a Christmas card from him, but nothing for my birthday in February, not even a text. It makes me wonder if that whole time I was just used.
And yes, I realise now I gave too much of myself without seeing and safeguarding the sitaution in full before I did. I feel awful now, and just dont know what was true or not.
Does anyone have advice on how you can tell? As I have no peace of mind.
Thanks
This is just pathetic Im sorry? YOU SEEM LIKe a very nice woman, somebody treats you like sh8T AND YOURE GETTing all upset over him? Learn a lesson from this, brush yourself off and come back stronger. We have all been used at various ways in life one way or the other.You can learn so much from this and better yourself to make your future relationships fruitful and abundant. BUT PLEASE develop a sense of self worth? You are deserving of a wonderful person but youll never find one unless you learn to value and respect yourself
Move on. This guy was a jerk. And unfortunately, there are a lot of men that are the same way. They are only interested in the physical side of a relationship, and they will do and say anything in order to have sex. Count yourself very lucky that he wasn't able to have sex with you. And because he didn't have sex with you, you weren't used. And if you had had sex with him, he would have left you eventually, and you would actually be feeling even worse over the breakup.
We did have sex that is the trouble......... we did and he leaves this way.
I needed to have talked to him at that time, even when he refused to, I realise I needed to, but now the time has gone. It's been over a year, and what stopped me at that time was I wanted him to come back to me, due to how he did the breakup on my birthday. But he never did, only I underestimated my love feelings for him. I needed to talk it through with him, for me. Feel awful now, awful situation.
Old enough to know better, early 30s, though we've been together on off, because of him 3.5 yrs, so was from late 20's. I really thought he was the one. But I have been punishing myself.
You see, when he came back I forgave him, but realise now due to my inexperience with relationships (this being my first serious one), I've dated quite a few guys, but never had a guy leave me before, he was the first leaving me and my first serious relationship, am a late starter you see!
It's because when he came back and I forgave him, I really thought he was the one. You know marriage and kids, esp. due to my age, it would have all be right time, etc. Now my life is devastated. I cant even get him off my mind to think of another guy or trust one. So heartbroken it's unreal; but it's cos of the not talking it through.
I just feel he didnt even try, and we could have worked it through, I know it, we had a strong bond. Which is why he came back, and I know my bond for him was stronger. This is really torture, so trapped and stuck with my feelings. Loving a man who is not even around is no fun, and I cant undo the situation or do that chat, I needed to have done it at the time, regardless of pride. #Sigh#
We did have sex that is the trouble......... we did and he leaves this way.
I needed to have talked to him at that time, even when he refused to, I realise I needed to, but now the time has gone. It's been over a year, and what stopped me at that time was I wanted him to come back to me, due to how he did the breakup on my birthday. But he never did, only I underestimated my love feelings for him. I needed to talk it through with him, for me. Feel awful now, awful situation.
No. You don't need to talk to him. What do you want from him? The truth? Do you really need to hear him say that he used you for sex? That he never really loved you? And that he dumped you because you were a dud in bed? If you hound him enough, he might finally tell you the truth about your relationship.
I feel that you want to corner him and to order him to look you in the eyes and tell you that he used you. That he never loved you. But what you don't understand is that guys can be satisfied with just having sex without any emotional feelings. As long as there is the immediate hope of sex, he's happy with the situation. But women tend to be different and they get hung up over romance and fairy tale love.
And meanwhile, you aren't really in love with him. You have a crush on him still. You didn't know him long enough to see the real jerk that he is, so you are still hung up over an idealized perfect image of him. Maybe he is cute and charming on the outside, but he is really a very ugly person on the inside.
BTW how old are you? And how many boyfriends have you had that you've had sex with?
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