Making new friends and meeting people in San Diego (Chula Vista: skateboarding, buying)

[ubringliten]

What I have observed here in SD are alot of high school and college students, but very few college graduates to young professionals. And my girlfriend and I are in that category.

I hope the recent development in downtown SD will bring more young folks here.

Sincerely hope so.

[wenzit420]

Great thread. i am considering a move to SD and can see how it might be hard to meet people. Myself, I ahve just cut loose many of the supposed friends I had here due to some clarity I finally had in my mind. Friends come and go, but the good ones stick around for the hard times and good times. Just think about the things that make you happy and out your self out there.

[tripleejh]

Finding friends takes effort and keeping them takes work. The best friends are ones that you can do more than drink beer with. That means that you have to find places where people like you hang out and interact. I know so many people that feel like asking a guy to do something, is like asking them on a date, and that they feel "less masculine". never understood that logic. If you meet someone with similar insterests just ask them to hang out sometime. I was surprised by how many guys I became friends with by saying, "hey you golf? Me too, lets play next weekend...whats your number."

Only one of them stalked me .

[Nick682]

Originally Posted by wealthtrader

It's like these SoCal cities are long-term vacation cities, not places where people lay down their roots. Go spend time in New Hampshire, most of the residents are three generations deep and are not going anywhere. In NH, when people talk to you, souls connect.
When people talk to you in SoCal, it seems like only the brand names on you clothes connect. It's a different story, needless to say. I suppose that these are just pros and cons like anyplace else.

Agreed...except the pro's and cons part....I am not willing to accept it as a "con"...substance and true connections are too me--the most important part of life....Weather and beaches can never make up for the lack of it.

[jkoz]

Originally Posted by Sassberto

I will say this, when you get a bit older, and especially when you are married, you tend to have very few close friends other than your spouse.

I can agree with that. A good spouse becomes your best friend, which is why a lot of singles, especially as they get older, put more focus on meeting someone to marry rather than trying to make lots of friends.

You would think Church, but in my experience church is no better out here. 3/4 of the people are screwed up and are more concerned about what heels or dress they wear to the service then going there and getting on track

Try Eastlake Community (So. Bay) on any Sunday morning--I can guarantee that no one is concerned about what heels they wear (most wear flip-flops) or whether their dress is fashionable

[PhotogRyan]

For me, meetup.com and yelp.com is gold. I've used meetup to take my dog to chihuahua meetups a while back, and met a bunch of people to network with. I've made friends, clients, and dog-sitters I met a couple years ago that I still keep in touch with today. Of course, you need to be smart about putting youself out there. I brought my digital slr camera to a few meetups and it drew interest from those who saw me in action (I was a hobby photographer, now doing it professionally).

Use yelp to make friends, or find places to bring friends from the meetups. I can't imagine finding some of the restaraunts I ate at (and loved) without it. Very nice resource.

Craigslist. Check out the activities section, and post in the 'strictly platonic' section with what you're looking for.

Myspace. A bit tougher, but I've met both clients and friends as a result of photography.

I think you have to generate some kind of interesting aspect of yourself that others might find interesting. Whether it be camping, biking, or some other hobby, I'm sure there are tons of people out there in the same situation. Hell, go fishing at one of the piers, strike up a conversation with one of the people there, keep at it, and develop it from there.

[mewzikguy]

This statement has been researched over the years and is true: In any city over 500,000 population, you will be able to find plenty of people who share your likes/ passions- - and as others have said on here so well, go out and meet 'em !

[lanina]

I too have the same problem, even worse, people who say they are up for doing something then 'flake' out. I have another post on here and have gotten all sorts of lovely critisism from people who don't even know me. it's amusing to say the least.

from I'm not confident enough, laughable, I'm not outgoing enough, totally laughable, to correcting my spelling and grammar on here and incinuating that it's bad because i am canadian, hehe, that means haha in american, i mean American :P. Everyone knows that online messaging, forums, etc are typed so fast who has time for proper grammar. So I figure they are bored and angry people who need to focus on others faults so as not to focus on their own obvious faults.

with that said, all of us that are 'good' friends to friends and not flakes should just meet up for a drink somewhere and make friends with each other!
ps. I'm a woman, but all my guy friends say i am a guy in a womans body, hence all my guy friends. unfortunately, the majority of them are back home. I have a few here in SD....but they are flakes! lol

[NYSD1995]

San Diego is full of flakes and has been as long as I've lived here.

That said: avoid the bars if you want to meet decent people. All the cool people I know came from work, sporting activities, etc...

[Papajojo]

Originally Posted by Sassberto

San Diego is full of flakes and has been as long as I've lived here.

That said: avoid the bars if you want to meet decent people. All the cool people I know came from work, sporting activities, etc...

My dad was stationed in the Navy here in the late 60's and again in the 70's and he told me the other day that the only problem he had with the area was the flakiness of so many of the locals. I didn't ask what types of 'engagements' they flaked out on (social, business, etc). However, that was the part of his life where he was drinking and partying quite a bit, so who knows what 'caliber' people he was dealing with. One thing he said that I found interesting: major difference in the locals' attitudes toward the military from the first time he was here (during vietnam war) and the second (post war). He said he absolutely hated San Diego the first time and enjoyed it the second. Anyway, I thought it was interesting that the 'flaky' trait dated back that far. I guess that apples are staying near the tree...gen x excluded