Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie
As long as the media pushes images of women who are lightskinned, white or mixed down my throat. I will never ever be happy. I'll always feel unhappy and incomplete. I always dream of a day that I can wake up and see nothing but positive images of women who are darkskinned and fully black like me. Or hear men say they prefer a darkskinned blk woman. I'd be so happy and wouldn't have all this anger inside. But that will never happen
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If you allow the media to determine your happiness, you have more issues than your physical appearance. I can talk about this because I'm married to one of that most media-disgraced of female types... a FAT WOMAN. And when I say "fat", I don't mean "she could lose 20 pounds and be at what the doctors would call 'a healthy weight' ". I mean "she'd probably have to lose half of her current body weight to get to that point".
And my wife is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen... and I find it extremely unlikely that I would encounter a woman whose appearance would be more appealing to me even if I were single. I tell her that the only chance of another woman being as beautiful as her is if we have a daughter who looks like her.
Evidently, the media's portrayal of feminine beauty (and feminine ugliness) had very little effect on me in my younger years and has no effect on me right now. I've always preferred fat women.
So you're a dark-skinned black woman. There are men out there who like dark-skinned black women, just as there are guys like me who like really big women. What type of man do you like? (I'm sure that you have your "preferred type" just as we all do. You don't have to answer that question... just think about it.) Does the media have any impact on the type of man you like?
It's easy enough to reason that the media focuses on white women for the standard of beauty in America because America is predominantly white. I'd imagine that, in African countries where the people are predominantly dark-skinned black, the standard of beauty would be based upon dark-skinned black people.
I've noticed that blacks tend to prefer blacks, and whites tend to prefer whites. Therefore, if we use "the majority" for our reasoning, it's logical that white ladies would be more likely to be upheld as the standard of beauty. However, there's one more issue to consider. The fashion industry (the "media" to which you referred) is largely run by homosexual men. As far as I can see, black culture is the one remaining ethnic culture that is largely opposed to homosexuality. (After all, the voters' rejection of gay marriage in CALIFORNIA, of all states, was attributed to a large number of black voters coming out and voting in favor of their dearly-held traditional family values. Sounds reasonable, as most adult blacks I've known have held tightly to traditional family values. More power to them, I say.) Stands to reason, in my mind, that there wouldn't be many homosexual black people working in the fashion industry and its media arms. Given the cultural differences (whites embracing homosexuality more than blacks), I'd assume that if you rounded up all of the self-reported "gay" men in America, the racial breakdown of them would not equal the racial breakdown of the entire population. It'd probably be more white than America on the whole. So... if whites tend to prefer whites... and if there are an unusually high number of whites in the fashion industry because blacks aren't as likely to be homosexual as whites are... now we can see why dark-skinned black women aren't upheld as much in the fashion industry as perhaps you might like to see. (Frankly, I don't know if they are or not. I don't watch cable TV, I don't read magazines that'd have ads like that, I don't look at other women because I'll never find someone as attractive as my wife anyway... I'm essentially clueless. I'm just going on what you said in your original post.)
Plus, I've read that most blacks these days have European heritage of at least 20%, which would explain the varying skin tones. (Look at pictures of people in Africa and they're ALL dark-skinned!) Therefore, the majority of American blacks are either light-skinned or have a medium skin tone. Again, stands to reason that if like attracts like, even blacks are likely to lean toward other blacks of fairer skin tone because that's what they themselves are.
I'm just shooting spitballs here but it all makes sense to me. Even if you want to ignore all of that logic I just stated, the fact remains that there needs to be only ONE man who finds you to be truly beautiful... if you marry him, what does it matter if nobody else finds you to be beautiful? My wife is 6'3" and just under 400 pounds. She's almost a foot taller than the average woman, and it'd take at least three "average women" to see-saw with her. How many dudes find a woman of those dimensions to be attractive? According to my wife, VERY few. If anyone would know, she would. She's related stories about being rejected for her appearance. I, personally, can't fathom how anyone would reject someone THAT beautiful because of her appearance... but not everyone shares my tastes. I find that to be a good thing. I like being married to someone whom most men find unattractive because...
1) She'd be a far less desirable target for a sex crime such as rape.
2) It's extremely unlikely that some other dude will hit on my wife and cause me / us irritation in the process.
3) Such a woman is far less likely to be mentally poisoned by society. (A woman whose appearance society glorifies is inherently pressured to do what it takes to remain glorified... her mind buys into the groupthink even if she doesn't recognize it. A woman whose appearance society has always rejected to some extent, who essentially stands next to no chance of ever being glorified by society, will be far more independent in her thought processes.)
4) Because of #3 above, she doesn't feel the need to spend huge sums of money and time on her appearance. She's like "I'm going out like this, and that's all there is to it"... ahhh, music to my ears.
So consider this. Maybe you feel like lots of people find you unattractive for your skin color. Think about how much of a POSITIVE that will be for you, and your eventual husband, later on down the line. Now get working on finding a guy who is "your type", who finds you to be "his type". I'm not trying to brag, but I think most guys would rather date a dark-skinned black lady if she were of "average size", compared to a white lady of my wife's dimensions. Yet, my wife found "the guy". I'd say your odds are better... so you have nothing to worry about. If society is "them", ignore them because they're not you.
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