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I'll give you this, though: you're right that lighter skin is more coveted than darker skin, save guys who live places where they only have dark women to choose from as well as the guys who seem to fetishize dark skin.
That said, anyone can find you attractive after a few minutes. If you dress super sexy and give off confident vibes, any guy can fall for you. It may not be love at first sight, but that doesn't mean the attraction can't be there.
I'm black, albeit a "redbone." So, I know what you mean about being outside the mainstream Western ideal of beauty, but you'd still be surprised by how many men of all races and ethnicities make a move on me. It's all about how I carry myself and interact with them. I know some women don't like feeling objectified, but I'm a very sensual person - I dress provocatively, I'm an insatiable flirt with every man and woman I find attractive regardless of whether I actually want that person - and that is something that turns a lot of people on.
Is it fair that we're not the image a man gets in his head when asked to picture his ideal of beauty? No. Is it fair that you'll have to work a little harder to be noticed? No. But if you care that much about being attractive to every man ever, then it's up to you to make it happen.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluemoonpie
Men are visual creatures. And they couldn't care less about attitude and confidence if its not wrapped in the right package.
Otherwise you'd see more of them with dark, unmixed black women like me
Men of all colors (including members of my very white family) marry dark-skinned woman - obviously they know these women are beautiful. And one of my closest college friends (a black men) married a lovely white woman. She obviously finds him beautiful.
There is the media, and there are people. Last I checked, no one is married to the media. The opinion of the media does not matter. The heart and soul of the individual are the only things that count.
"We accept the love we think we deserve." - Stephen Chbosky, "Perks of Being a Wall Flower"
BlueMoonPie - you deserve more than you realize. Love yourself first, and everything else will fall in place.
Men of all colors (including members of my very white family) marry dark-skinned woman - obviously they know they are beautiful. And one of my closest college friends (a black men) married a lovely white woman.
"We accept the love we think we deserve." - Stephen Chbosky, "Perks of Being a Wall Flower"
BlueMoonPie - you deserve more than you realize. Love yourself first, and everything else will fall in place.
You should have no reason to be upset. As a South Indian male, I understand your pain completely. Often, we are the most stereotyped race among men across this planet and are at the butt end of all jokes. However, my conscience says to screw all of that cheap talk, be happy with your ethnic background, develop a good personality, be a hard working and sincere individual, and present yourself neatly to the best of your ability. There will always be guys who like you. All you need to do is develop a more secure and tough attitude. I am NEVER ashamed to admit my south Indian origin. If that's a turn off for women then so be it. And the "right package" varies for every man or woman, just like each UPS box contains a different Item . Don't depress yourself over this issue. Its not worth the time.
Why be depressed over something you can't change? You obviously have low self-esteem and don't seem to be making an effort to help yourself. You are using your color as an excuse not to make an effort. You know very well that there are plenty of men who like all sorts of women. Even if some prefer light skinned women or whatever, there are just as many who prefer something else. Beauty is beauty no matter what shade it is and ugly works the same way. Why not take part in some group activities, volunteer activities, etc. where you can meet all different types of people? If you are well groomed, well spoken and pleasant to be around, you will attract the type of fellows you want to meet. If you are giving off insecure, self-conscious and negative vibes, no one will ever be attracted to you. Its not your color, its how you carry yourself that's making you miserable.
I'm afraid you're very unlikely to ever be happy, then.
Light skin is generally considered to be an attractive trait for a lot of reasons. For one thing, it implied that you were wealthy enough that you didn't have to work outdoors. White is associated with goodness/purity/innocence in many cultures. And of course, the historical dominance of light-skinned European peoples.
Those things are not going to change because you're unhappy. You have a much better chance of making yourself light-skinned through some kind of treatment than you do of changing social ideas of beauty. You can change yourself to fit society's ideals, but you can't change society's ideals to fit yourself.
We can provide equal opportunity for people of color in many ways. Employment, education, and equality under the law. We can stop racism when it comes to those things. But there's really nothing we can do about the fact that white people are considered better looking. Beauty contests are the one place I don't think we're ever going to see racial equality. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. You need to find a way to accept or deal with that. Not everyone can be considered beautiful.
I'm white and I can see mixed-race people are clearly better looking. Like most people think nowadays. Get out from your living room more often to catch the zeitgeist.
This poster has, under various usernames, been posting for AGES on this exact rant, ad nauseum. There is nothing anybody can post that hasn't already been posted, and there is nothing that will make a dent in what this person already wants to believe. Outside of plain old attentionseeking, I'm unsure of the purpose in the constant broken record, except that that such harping is possibly a ritualistic compulsion of this person's. The pattern is the same. Post the same bizarre and unsupported claims over and over, and argue down anybody who interjects a contrary opinion, a differing experience, or even an encouraging word. Accuse posters of gaslighting her, lying to her to "make her feel better," and wrap up with dramatic statements about how she can't bear to live. Rinse, repeat. Is it maybe time to stop feeding into such bizarre, unhealthy behavior and reinforcing it?
This poster has, under various usernames, been posting for AGES on this exact rant, ad nauseum. There is nothing anybody can post that hasn't already been posted, and there is nothing that will make a dent in what this person already wants to believe. Outside of plain old attentionseeking, I'm unsure of the purpose in the constant broken record, except that that such harping is possibly a ritualistic compulsion of this person's. The pattern is the same. Post the same bizarre and unsupported claims over and over, and argue down anybody who interjects a contrary opinion, a differing experience, or even an encouraging word. Accuse posters of gaslighting her, lying to her to "make her feel better," and wrap up with dramatic statements about how she can't bear to live. Rinse, repeat. Is it maybe time to stop feeding into such bizarre, unhealthy behavior and reinforcing it?
This^^^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by treasurefinder
Thank you for confirming my suspicions! I just didn't feel like doing the legwork, lol
I'm white and I can see mixed-race people are clearly better looking. Like most people think nowadays. Get out from your living room more often to catch the zeitgeist.
This! I even made a thread about these so called ""exxoticals""
I also feel that the standard of beauty has shifted and exxoticals are in and I don't think they are going anywhere. Especially with a lot of people now going out of their way & breeding with certain people to make sure their kids look exxotical.
I cant think of an NBA player or rapper whose kids are not exxotical. Even Heidi Klum stayed with Seal's jobless mutalated face long enough to have some nice exxotical kids.
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. Don't depress yourself over this issue. Its not worth the time.
