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When you have attended the funeral of a three year old who died needlessly all because his mother was afraid that if she disciplined him he would hate her later. Well he didn't get that chance. He was the same age as my youngest and a playmate. All that remains are the photos I took. What hurt the most was the fact that we had discussed his horrible and total lack of respect for his parents two weeks before he was crushed under a tractor wheel. He never learned no meant no.
When you have attended the funeral of a three year old who died needlessly all because his mother was afraid that if she disciplined him he would hate her later. Well he didn't get that chance. He was the same age as my youngest and a playmate. All that remains are the photos I took. What hurt the most was the fact that we had discussed his horrible and total lack of respect for his parents two weeks before he was crushed under a tractor wheel. He never learned no meant no.
Yes I do. I've observed decades of degeneration now. Tough love worked for centuries. Parents are not what they used to be.
Society had a much higher tolerance for abuse for centuries. Is that really the society you want to return to, just so that Johnny will stop talking at dinner?
My pet peeve is when people don’t realize the great emotional cost that comes with shoving people into strict social roles.
When you have attended the funeral of a three year old who died needlessly all because his mother was afraid that if she disciplined him he would hate her later. Well he didn't get that chance. He was the same age as my youngest and a playmate. All that remains are the photos I took. What hurt the most was the fact that we had discussed his horrible and total lack of respect for his parents two weeks before he was crushed under a tractor wheel. He never learned no meant no.
On the other side of the coin, my ex almost killed me several times because her parents hitting her as "discipline" taught her that physical abuse is okay. That translated into her beating me and trying to strangle me every time I said something she didn’t like—because her parents beat her as a child when she misbehaved. She even admitted to me the link in her own mind.
You can find extreme examples of anything. Obviously both of those scenarios are extreme. In the vast majority of cases, a child who was not taught that “no means no” will not die. On the other hand, there are studies that show that children who are hit as punishment often grow up believe that hitting is an acceptable and appropriate response to conflict.
Obviously children do need to be disciplined at times, but my pet peeve is with the parents who go overboard. The story I quoted was so heart-breaking to me because with every threat, that father depleted his son’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem, and for what? To make him behave well in a grocery store. There are other ways to get your children to behave that don’t involve having to crush their spirit.
Tough love..I've always laughed at that relatively new cliche. That basically means hurting someone you love by being overly callous and cutting for their supposed own good or in some cases hitting the child when they disobey. People never heard of the term tough love until these self-help know it all's began taking over daytime TV. You don't need to smack your kid to discipline or dance to the tough love trend, there are other ways show disapproval and teach whats right. Smacking the kid won't make the child respect a parent, it can however cause fear, create resentment and sometimes long term head trips. That's not a bunch of psychobable either. I knew kids that got the strap as the tool to teach right from wrong. They did fear their dad, well in one case, until my friend got to be about 6'6 that is. He left as soon as he was 18. I personally think there are better ways. Lead by example, show the kid plenty of love and some respect him as an individual, this isn't boot camp after all. Especially at an early age kids want the approval of their parents. Showing disappointment worked better on me than a spanking ever would.
I do agree you see many parents today that will give in to a bratty kid in the store rather than take the kid outside and scold him for acting out. Lazy parents, maybe more concerned with themselves than bringing up their kids, which takes a considerable investment of time. Many people that have kids shouldn't be parents but are. Still that's nothing new. Decades of degeneration of morals, of the family unit, remember the days when mom was home when the kids got out of school, increased me-ness and materialism trumping everything else. The result is an increased number of bratty, smarty kids with little respect for anything or anyone. These changes in society have much more to do with the entire picture you see today than the lack of physical punishment for disobedience. Still I've met plenty of good smart kids with a sense of caring for others. What did their parents do right one might ask.
Why do the elderly get left out when it comes to holiday plans???? No one in the family bothered to invite my 88 year old MIL to have Easter with them and their famalies. Needless to say she will be having lunch with us even though I didn't plan a special meal.
Why do the elderly get left out when it comes to holiday plans???? No one in the family bothered to invite my 88 year old MIL to have Easter with them and their famalies. Needless to say she will be having lunch with us even though I didn't plan a special meal.
That is a very nice thing to do, Larksong. Give her lots of hugs and listen to all her stories. Your meal will be special for her no matter what it is.
Managed to get road tar on my new car in less than 24 hours.
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What hurt the most was the fact that we had discussed his horrible and total lack of respect for his parents two weeks before he was crushed under a tractor wheel. He never learned no meant no.
No one in the family bothered to invite my 88 year old MIL to have Easter with them and their famalies. Needless to say she will be having lunch with us even though I didn't plan a special meal. 
Give her lots of hugs and listen to all her stories. Your meal will be special for her no matter what it is.
