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I don't lose important things bc I either put them where they belong (ex. keys and wallet always go in front door table - drawer closed!) or I give things to my wife for safekeeping, lol.
Kathy/Tracy - I hope you understand that behavior such as you are describing in your significant others is *probably* not being done consciously.
My wife tends to find cabinet doors open very occasionally, after I have unloaded the dishwasher. However, I'm the one who has to make sure the fridge is closed after she has been in it.
I generally hang up my keys, store my clothes in the right spots along with my shoes, etc., but there have been times when I have deviated. Nothing intentional, but it has happened.
We all learn in a different way. How the two of us were taught growing up, I'm sure has had a big impact now. Her parents emphasized differently than mine and vice versa. (Having said that, I'm noticing that I am taking much more time to be sure things are right than I ever did before. Wonder why that is?)
I'm sure it aggravates others when something they value is not given the same by their SO, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them that is worth the level of anxiety being shown here.
We work it out. I keep the books for our business, and manage the checking accounts and all sorts of paperwork and he is the independent consultant who actually does the work that generates the income. I clean up the kitchen, he keeps the garage clean (note that I did not say "organized"). I do the laundry, he does stuff like get vehicles registered, inspected, maintained (same with tools, equipment, etc). I dust and sweep and clean bathrooms, he vacuums and uses all the attachments and does baseboards, corners, ceilings, ceiling fans, etc. We both enjoy cooking and grocery shopping and that sort of thing, but I do more basic, daily cooking.
He makes money, I spend it.
Anyway, I adore him, BUT his absentmindedness and forgetfulness really is an ongoing stressor to both of us, not just me, and I really don't know how to help him. Anything I do either doesn't register at all, or it makes him feel like I'm criticizing him, so I tread lightly. I don't want to CHANGE him, because I really do believe that "bad" traits are probably just the flip side to a trait that I love (for instance, I love his spontaneity).
But I know he hates this about himself. If I don't criticize him, he criticizes himself. "I can't believe I'm so forgetful - do you think I have Alzheimers? OH MY GOSH DO I HAVE DEMENTIA? What sort of supplements should I be taking? Are there some brain games I need to be doing? Am I losing my mind?" (No, no, COQ10, Lumosity, and no.)
If I thought he was just wandering around expecting me to pick up his slack and enable sloppy behavior, I'd be pretty furious, but I don't think that's the case. I think there's an "absent minded gene" or something.
Kathy/Tracy - I hope you understand that behavior such as you are describing in your significant others is *probably* not being done consciously.
My wife tends to find cabinet doors open very occasionally, after I have unloaded the dishwasher. However, I'm the one who has to make sure the fridge is closed after she has been in it.
I generally hang up my keys, store my clothes in the right spots along with my shoes, etc., but there have been times when I have deviated. Nothing intentional, but it has happened.
We all learn in a different way. How the two of us were taught growing up, I'm sure has had a big impact now. Her parents emphasized differently than mine and vice versa. (Having said that, I'm noticing that I am taking much more time to be sure things are right than I ever did before. Wonder why that is?)
I'm sure it aggravates others when something they value is not given the same by their SO, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them that is worth the level of anxiety being shown here.
I'm sure the careless behavior is not being done consciously. But my careful/neat behavior is also not done consciously. I had to learn those behaviors until they became automatic. Now they are unconscious, or at least subconscious. I can only speak for my ex, but he was a grown adult with above average intelligence, and most importantly, he experienced distress whenever he would forget something or lose something. To me, if I ever do something or don't do something, and I experience distress as a result, I learn the lesson and make sure I change my behavior. If a person mostly always puts things in their place or closes doors, and once in a while forgets, I don't think that's a big deal. It's the constant, habitual forgetting things and leaving things open that's a problem, in my book.
Kathy/Tracy - I hope you understand that behavior such as you are describing in your significant others is *probably* not being done consciously.
My wife tends to find cabinet doors open very occasionally, after I have unloaded the dishwasher. However, I'm the one who has to make sure the fridge is closed after she has been in it.
I generally hang up my keys, store my clothes in the right spots along with my shoes, etc., but there have been times when I have deviated. Nothing intentional, but it has happened.
We all learn in a different way. How the two of us were taught growing up, I'm sure has had a big impact now. Her parents emphasized differently than mine and vice versa. (Having said that, I'm noticing that I am taking much more time to be sure things are right than I ever did before. Wonder why that is?)
I'm sure it aggravates others when something they value is not given the same by their SO, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them that is worth the level of anxiety being shown here.
Thanks for your nice post. I generally agree with it but I want to make a few points.
1. You're right - I don't think he's intentionally trying to irk me. If I thought that, I'd be furious. Instead, I'm just frustrated, which isn't the same thing at all. I am not at all angry with him though.
2. You don't sound as scatterbrained as my husband, just for the record. He doesn't do these things occasionally - he does them every single day. I am not exaggerating - if he got to the car at the same time I did, with his keys, wallet, phone, and sunglasses, it would literally be I believe the first time it has ever happened in the eleven years I've known him.
3. It's not a matter of just being aggravated - this sort of thing costs us money and time and often makes us late for events, important and unimportant events. We both end up wasting a lot of time looking for things, or going back home for something important, or trying to make it somewhere without necessary items, etc. I try to keep up with things, but I can't keep up with every single thing in his life, and besides that, if I try, I have to do it incognito because he gets offended if he thinks that I think he's "stupid." (Which I don't think.)
For instance, just this week, he lost - and by lost I mean could not find for at least half a day - his prescription glasses which he has to have to read, his expensive sunglasses that he can't drive without wearing, his vehicle registration, his keys SEVERAL times, and a nice watch. These are just things I recall off the top of my head. This does not include various increments of time looking for his phone, paperwork, keys or wallet (or a combination of those items) before we would leave to go somewhere or when we'd get home. Also, he packed up a bunch of stuff, that he packs up every single time he goes out of town to work, several times a month, and forgot several really basic things. One thing I had to scan and send to him, after I found it, which took me quite a while because he didn't know exactly where he had left it, and the other thing I put right by the door - twice - and he still walked out and left it laying right there, though he picked up the other two items he'd forgotten to pack, which were sitting right beside it. RIGHT beside it. I don't get that, I don't get that!!!
I have had to rush back home and then rush back to the airport to bring him his phone because he left it sitting on the counter. I sat in the rental car place in England (no going home to get anything from there!) for an hour because he had misplaced some sort of document he HAD to have to pick the vehicle up, and we had to completely unpack nearly every single piece of luggage we had down to the bare bones to find it. Now - I had had all of it together at one point, in a bag. How it got scattered about I have no idea. But we would not have been able to rent the vehicle if we hadn't eventually found it. And believe me, it could have been anywhere - Texas, New York, somewhere in Heathrow airport, on the plane, who knows?
So yes- this sort of stuff is stressful - very stressful. I could tell you so many more stories but it would sound like I was married to a nincompoop and I know that I'm actually not. He's like the proverbial absent minded professor - a veritable genius in so many ways, but when it comes to remembering to do normal, daily stuff, sometimes he completely baffles me with his forgetfulness.
But - in his defense - if you ever need someone to react and respond with ace level gut instincts in a crisis, he's your man. If you ever need someone to be extremely perceptive and notice small but very important details about just about anything -he's your man. If you need a diplomatic and yet very honest person to smooth over just about any stressful situation ,he's your man.
He's a rock. But he's got a few pebbles loose. And sometimes they really, really rattle me for good reason!
Here's what I think - I think people who live together should be thoughtful about what bugs the other person. If a person knows that leaving lights on bugs the other person, they should turn them off when they leave the room. If a person knows that leaving drawers and cabinets open bugs the other person, they should close them.
I am so thankful to live with a person who understands that certain things give me anxiety and he is willing to do some stupid little thing to lessen that for me. And over the years, all he's asked is that I ask him nicely and not act like a you-know-what about it, since he is not psychic and apparently my way of thinking isn't obvious. So now I simply say, for example, "Could you please pull the shower curtain all the way to the wall? It doesn't get all wrinkled that way." And he says, "I will try to remember that." And the world is good again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Severs
My wife and I do this to each other when either of us leave, or even when both of us leave. I'd rather take the few extra minutes to go through the checklist then find out that I rushed out the door a bit soon and forgot something.
This is our life. "Keys. Wallet. Cell phone."
Quote:
Originally Posted by TracySam
I agree. To me carelessness about normal day-to-day things is so frustrating, when for me, they are just part of my routine, and I'm largely unconscious of them. That's why I keep saying, no, this is not "OCD" on my part. I don't obsess about these things or do them compulsively because of anxiety. I just do them because I've learned in life that things are better if I just do them, and they just became habit.
I get out of the car, I lock the car door without even thinking about it.
I get into the car, I pull on my seatbelt, again, without even thinking about it.
I get in the house, I toss my keys in the key basket by the from door without even thinking about it.
I take out the scissors to use them and I put them back where they go, without giving it a thought.
I open a cabinet door to get something, I shut the door without even thinking about it.
I always put my purse/wallet in the same place, without thinking about it.
If you build things into your daily habit, they become second-nature and take no effort. I don't ever even consciously think about putting on my seat belt, but I always put it on.
But the people who lose things all the time see these suggestions as some major inconvenience or major burden on their concentration. But even if they are "absentminded" or "distractible" they can certainly still build things into a routine that they will eventually engage in without thinking. They tie their shoes without thinking about it, right? and in reality, that's a pretty complicated task. If they can commit that to "muscle memory" they can certainly commit putting their keys in a certain place or shutting a drawer to muscle memory. Just like getting up from the toilet and hitting the flush. You don't have to think about it; your hand just does it.
I never have to wonder where my keys are, because I throw them right in the basket as soon as I walk in the door. I don't even remember putting them there, but I'd bet you $1000 at any minute that they are where they're supposed to be. Again, this is not compulsive at all, because it's just worked into my casual routine. Shutting a drawer or a door just comes naturally. If it doesn't come naturally to you, it will after you get in the habit.
A few things...
...and just to clarify I do not leave cabinets open.
When I was growing up, I would always leave crap everywhere. And the worst thing about it was I couldn't remember the last place I left it---I remembered the spot BEFORE I left it but would get very angry and insist that I saw it where I thought I'd left it. Didn't matter what it was---keys, wallet, Metrocard, calculator, pen, important document, etc.
I always told myself when I wasn't in such a chaotic, full-of-crap house, I'd be better. So, my apartment is almost always clean and organized. I try to keep things where they belong. I put routines in place. My ID for work stays around my neck until I get home and I can hang it in THE SPOT. My keys get put in THE SPOT. My wallet seems to end up in places but I never lose it. The cell phone is the biggest work in progress.
Now the funny thing is---I am a great multitasker. It's why I am so good at my job, which is constantly go-go-go and working on fifty different things at the same time. But I find what gets me in trouble is when I am in a fog and when I have about a thousand thoughts going through my brain, I just kind of lose focus and then I might put something down without even thinking about it and having no memory of doing so. I don't know how many times I am getting ready for work at night and I say to my husband, "Where is my phone? I JUST had it. It was in my hands." I literally have no recollection of where I might have put it down a minute beforehand!
So, yes, I do try to get habits in place. And yes, it seems SO obvious. But I think if it were really that easy to everyone, everyone would have no problem doing it, unless they really just didn't give a crap, which I don't think applies to most people who have the problem. And for me it's just certain things---I don't leave cabinets open (it would annoy me) but the phone seems to go wherever it wants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
We work it out. I keep the books for our business, and manage the checking accounts and all sorts of paperwork and he is the independent consultant who actually does the work that generates the income. I clean up the kitchen, he keeps the garage clean (note that I did not say "organized"). I do the laundry, he does stuff like get vehicles registered, inspected, maintained (same with tools, equipment, etc). I dust and sweep and clean bathrooms, he vacuums and uses all the attachments and does baseboards, corners, ceilings, ceiling fans, etc. We both enjoy cooking and grocery shopping and that sort of thing, but I do more basic, daily cooking.
He makes money, I spend it.
Anyway, I adore him, BUT his absentmindedness and forgetfulness really is an ongoing stressor to both of us, not just me, and I really don't know how to help him. Anything I do either doesn't register at all, or it makes him feel like I'm criticizing him, so I tread lightly. I don't want to CHANGE him, because I really do believe that "bad" traits are probably just the flip side to a trait that I love (for instance, I love his spontaneity).
But I know he hates this about himself. If I don't criticize him, he criticizes himself. "I can't believe I'm so forgetful - do you think I have Alzheimers? OH MY GOSH DO I HAVE DEMENTIA? What sort of supplements should I be taking? Are there some brain games I need to be doing? Am I losing my mind?" (No, no, COQ10, Lumosity, and no.)
If I thought he was just wandering around expecting me to pick up his slack and enable sloppy behavior, I'd be pretty furious, but I don't think that's the case. I think there's an "absent minded gene" or something.
I am not too absentminded or forgetful (except for the example I posted above) but my husband can be. I bolded what my husband has said to me before and what happens in my house as well. Since my husband is quite attached to his phone, the only thing that seems to help him (and actually, it works out pretty well) is his iPhone. It doesn't matter if he is setting a reminder ten minutes from now---he sets the reminder and voila! He sets reminders for EVERYTHING. Some days I am with him, I will hear him talking into the phone multiple times per day---"Remind me to call XYZ in three hours." It makes such a difference. It makes me happy not to see him beat himself up over forgetting everything.
I am really spoiled rotten so I don't have too much to complain about. The other day my husband says, "Sorry I let the sink get a little overfilled---I'll try to be better about cleaning the dishes." And I said, "Do what you want as long as I don't have to clean the dishes!"
I am so thankful to live with a person who understands that certain things give me anxiety and he is willing to do some stupid little thing to lessen that for me. And over the years, all he's asked is that I ask him nicely and not act like a you-know-what about it, since he is not psychic and apparently my way of thinking isn't obvious. So now I simply say, for example, "Could you please pull the shower curtain all the way to the wall? It doesn't get all wrinkled that way." And he says, "I will try to remember that." And the world is good again.
This is our life. "Keys. Wallet. Cell phone."
A few things...
...and just to clarify I do not leave cabinets open.
When I was growing up, I would always leave crap everywhere. And the worst thing about it was I couldn't remember the last place I left it---I remembered the spot BEFORE I left it but would get very angry and insist that I saw it where I thought I'd left it. Didn't matter what it was---keys, wallet, Metrocard, calculator, pen, important document, etc.
I always told myself when I wasn't in such a chaotic, full-of-crap house, I'd be better. So, my apartment is almost always clean and organized. I try to keep things where they belong. I put routines in place. My ID for work stays around my neck until I get home and I can hang it in THE SPOT. My keys get put in THE SPOT. My wallet seems to end up in places but I never lose it. The cell phone is the biggest work in progress.
Now the funny thing is---I am a great multitasker. It's why I am so good at my job, which is constantly go-go-go and working on fifty different things at the same time. But I find what gets me in trouble is when I am in a fog and when I have about a thousand thoughts going through my brain, I just kind of lose focus and then I might put something down without even thinking about it and having no memory of doing so. I don't know how many times I am getting ready for work at night and I say to my husband, "Where is my phone? I JUST had it. It was in my hands." I literally have no recollection of where I might have put it down a minute beforehand!
So, yes, I do try to get habits in place. And yes, it seems SO obvious. But I think if it were really that easy to everyone, everyone would have no problem doing it, unless they really just didn't give a crap, which I don't think applies to most people who have the problem. And for me it's just certain things---I don't leave cabinets open (it would annoy me) but the phone seems to go wherever it wants.
I am not too absentminded or forgetful (except for the example I posted above) but my husband can be. I bolded what my husband has said to me before and what happens in my house as well. Since my husband is quite attached to his phone, the only thing that seems to help him (and actually, it works out pretty well) is his iPhone. It doesn't matter if he is setting a reminder ten minutes from now---he sets the reminder and voila! He sets reminders for EVERYTHING. Some days I am with him, I will hear him talking into the phone multiple times per day---"Remind me to call XYZ in three hours." It makes such a difference. It makes me happy not to see him beat himself up over forgetting everything.
I am really spoiled rotten so I don't have too much to complain about. The other day my husband says, "Sorry I let the sink get a little overfilled---I'll try to be better about cleaning the dishes." And I said, "Do what you want as long as I don't have to clean the dishes!"
You sound a lot like my husband - he is a great multitasker and works best under pressure.
Also, while his mother was not a messy person, she was COMPLETELY disorganized. I mean, he looks like a CPA compared to her when it comes to organization. Her idea was just to save every single thing ever, stuck wherever, so she had boxes and boxes of stuff, her whole life basically, but in absolutely zero order. Her house looked very neat, and I would have told you she didn't even have all that much stuff - but WOW, that wasn't true. She had boxes - which had clearly never been opened again once she closed them - of everything, in no order - in every closet, under every bed, etc. We had to literally look through every single envelope and drawer and UNDER drawers when we were getting her house ready for the estate sale, because we realized pretty quickly that we were likely to run across money - or gift cards - or super important documents - or coupons - or thank you cards - or birthday cards - or recipes - or newspaper clippings with no discernible value - or folded tissue paper - whatever - in anything, anywhere. Though they had plenty of money and were very comfortable and both professionals, her credit score was pretty bad, and you know why? Well, I found out why - because we found bills, made out with checks, stamps on the envelopes, some from 30 or 40 years ago, which she had apparently just forgotten to mail. Her husband told me once that he had finally had to take over every aspect of running the household other than cooking, which she enjoyed, when she was a young woman (pre - dementia) because she was just absolutely lost in a fog.
And like I said, she was a professional, with two college degrees and a good job for 30 something years. She dressed beautifully and kept her house neat as a pin. But there was absolutely no order inside that head of hers.
I guess she raised her boys with this sort of mindset. They are both absent minded to an extreme. My sister in law and I sometimes just call each other to vent and commiserate!
For the record, there is no way my husband would ever use the alarm on his cell phone, for anything other than an actual morning wakeup call. It's just not in him. In fact, it takes him about five days of the alarm going off AFTER HE COMES HOME (he works two weeks on and two weeks off) at five am, waking us both up (but me first and then I have to say, "Hey, wake up wake up wake up your alarm is going off again!") before he manages to actually cancel the alarm. He swears he does it every single day - but it goes off again the next morning at 5 am for days and days and days, and he always acts confused by this. "Have you been messing with my phone's alarm? I know I turned it off yesterday." I hear this for several days every month. And I have literally never "messed with his phone's alarm!"
Thanks for your nice post. I generally agree with it but I want to make a few points.
1. You're right - I don't think he's intentionally trying to irk me. If I thought that, I'd be furious. Instead, I'm just frustrated, which isn't the same thing at all. I am not at all angry with him though.
2. You don't sound as scatterbrained as my husband, just for the record. He doesn't do these things occasionally - he does them every single day. I am not exaggerating - if he got to the car at the same time I did, with his keys, wallet, phone, and sunglasses, it would literally be I believe the first time it has ever happened in the eleven years I've known him.
3. It's not a matter of just being aggravated - this sort of thing costs us money and time and often makes us late for events, important and unimportant events. We both end up wasting a lot of time looking for things, or going back home for something important, or trying to make it somewhere without necessary items, etc. I try to keep up with things, but I can't keep up with every single thing in his life, and besides that, if I try, I have to do it incognito because he gets offended if he thinks that I think he's "stupid." (Which I don't think.)
For instance, just this week, he lost - and by lost I mean could not find for at least half a day - his prescription glasses which he has to have to read, his expensive sunglasses that he can't drive without wearing, his vehicle registration, his keys SEVERAL times, and a nice watch. These are just things I recall off the top of my head. This does not include various increments of time looking for his phone, paperwork, keys or wallet (or a combination of those items) before we would leave to go somewhere or when we'd get home. Also, he packed up a bunch of stuff, that he packs up every single time he goes out of town to work, several times a month, and forgot several really basic things. One thing I had to scan and send to him, after I found it, which took me quite a while because he didn't know exactly where he had left it, and the other thing I put right by the door - twice - and he still walked out and left it laying right there, though he picked up the other two items he'd forgotten to pack, which were sitting right beside it. RIGHT beside it. I don't get that, I don't get that!!!
I have had to rush back home and then rush back to the airport to bring him his phone because he left it sitting on the counter. I sat in the rental car place in England (no going home to get anything from there!) for an hour because he had misplaced some sort of document he HAD to have to pick the vehicle up, and we had to completely unpack nearly every single piece of luggage we had down to the bare bones to find it. Now - I had had all of it together at one point, in a bag. How it got scattered about I have no idea. But we would not have been able to rent the vehicle if we hadn't eventually found it. And believe me, it could have been anywhere - Texas, New York, somewhere in Heathrow airport, on the plane, who knows?
So yes- this sort of stuff is stressful - very stressful. I could tell you so many more stories but it would sound like I was married to a nincompoop and I know that I'm actually not. He's like the proverbial absent minded professor - a veritable genius in so many ways, but when it comes to remembering to do normal, daily stuff, sometimes he completely baffles me with his forgetfulness.
But - in his defense - if you ever need someone to react and respond with ace level gut instincts in a crisis, he's your man. If you ever need someone to be extremely perceptive and notice small but very important details about just about anything -he's your man. If you need a diplomatic and yet very honest person to smooth over just about any stressful situation ,he's your man.
He's a rock. But he's got a few pebbles loose. And sometimes they really, really rattle me for good reason!
Yeah, I have more than a few pebbles loose, myself, at times.
When I leave for work in the morning, my wife will quiz me - "do you have your cellphone, keys, meds and building access card?"(my credit cards are in a compartment on the back of my phone). Maybe 20% of the time, I will forget ONE of these items, but remember it just as I am walking to the car. I mentally note all of the items I need, as well.
Have you considered hanging up a small checklist by the door?
I don't have an answer for the glasses, but we recently purchased a a Tile for my wife's car keys (missing often). It allows her to locate her keys via cellphone and has the added benefit of being able to locate her cellphone from her keys. We've had the device less than a month and we've already used it four times.
[quote=arjay57;45446894]I have to admit that it would annoy me to have somebody ask if I've got my phone and wallet. Of course I've got my wallet. Who would leave without it?
My husband would leave without it. I'm like a checklist by the door - Keys? Wallet? Coupons? Water? Doesn't bother me and he appreciates the reminder. Same every time.
Yeah, I have more than a few pebbles loose, myself, at times.
When I leave for work in the morning, my wife will quiz me - "do you have your cellphone, keys, meds and building access card?"(my credit cards are in a compartment on the back of my phone). Maybe 20% of the time, I will forget ONE of these items, but remember it just as I am walking to the car. I mentally note all of the items I need, as well.
Have you considered hanging up a small checklist by the door?
I don't have an answer for the glasses, but we recently purchased a a Tile for my wife's car keys (missing often). It allows her to locate her keys via cellphone and has the added benefit of being able to locate her cellphone from her keys. We've had the device less than a month and we've already used it four times.
We are seriously considering the Tile things. We're reaching critical mass here. See all my posts? I'm venting, because my husband just left after being home for a month, and I swear, this sort of thing went on every day, several times a day. It was frustrating to me, but also frustrating to him. And embarrassing to him. He's got a lot of dignity and so many talents and is such a good person - but this self doubt that is brought up by this absent mindedness messes with his mind, and it also frustrates me so much that I am afraid it will impact our relationship sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I am about to just explode and scream "DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. GET A MAN BAG. MAKE A LIST. TIE EVERYTHING TOGETHER ON A LONG STRING. DO SOMETHING TO STOP THE MADNESS!"
I honestly don't think a checklist by the door will help because he would have to remember to look at the checklist. Keep in mind that he had forgotten to pack three things, and that I put all three things right by the door and told him they were right by the door. He put two of the three things in his truck and totally forgot the other thing. When I asked him about it, he couldn't remember whether he packed it or not. He said, "Probably so." I thought, "I better go check." I found it laying in the corner of the room, where he would not have seen it at 6 am this morning, and if I hadn't checked at midnight and gone in and put it in his hand and watched him take it out and put it in his bag, I swear it would have been laying there this morning after he left.
And he still forgot something and called me from the road asking me to copy and scan it to him.
MEDS - don't even get me started! He takes high blood pressure meds and MUST have them. I carry some in my purse because he often has forgotten to take them after we leave the house. But he has also forgotten them on trips and we've had to try to track down his doctor, a pharmacy, etc while traveling because I don't carry a weeks' supply with me (maybe I should just start).
Oh my!!!!!!
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I am so thankful to live with a person who understands that certain things give me anxiety and he is willing to do some stupid little thing to lessen that for me. And over the years, all he's asked is that I ask him nicely and not act like a you-know-what about it, since he is not psychic and apparently my way of thinking isn't obvious. So now I simply say, for example, "Could you please pull the shower curtain all the way to the wall? It doesn't get all wrinkled that way." And he says, "I will try to remember that." And the world is good again.
