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Not always true; there were a lot of girls I thought were very attractive and I may have even sensed were into me, and yet for one reason or another I balked.. shy, too respectful sometimes of a woman's, any person's really space, etc.. so much so, that I regret not pursuing a lot of women that I probably could have..
I hope you realize that guys, all of us at one time or another, are just as intimidated by beautiful women. And I've seen this in all kinds of guys, handsome, rich, it didn't matter..
I dated this one guy that was soooo witty, smart, talented, confident, etc. After we started dating - he told me that he had always found me so intimidating! I couldn't believe it! I'm such a silly person - it's hard for me to understand anyone finding me intimidating! But this was before we really knew each other. I can't remember how we started dating - who asked who out, etc. But I do know that I was always more agressive than he was when it came to the physical part!
Well, at the time that I was getting to know someone for a friend - I was married. I guess I just expected guys to check for a ring! I know better than that now!
As for your ex - sounds like you were lucky to get out when you did!
It is funny that you should mention ring. I know that's the first thing women check. I don't know about other men, but I almost always fail to check for ring (I think its a male thing).
Yes, I am better off without my ex. Every day that passes I feel more and more confident that I dodged a bullet by not marrying her.
I dated this one guy that was soooo witty, smart, talented, confident, etc. After we started dating - he told me that he had always found me so intimidating! I couldn't believe it! I'm such a silly person - it's hard for me to understand anyone finding me intimidating! But this was before we really knew each other. I can't remember how we started dating - who asked who out, etc. But I do know that I was always more agressive than he was when it came to the physical part!
I can see through all that feline makeup you wear that you are a very attractive woman.. this can be intimidating, even to good looking guys. There were times when a beautiful woman showed me that she was attracted to me that my response was immediate, no hesitation at all.. But now that I think of it, that was the response I had when there was something else, some other very strong attraction other than the physical.. hey, I love beautiful, sexy women as much as any man.. but when that's all there is, for me, the reality of that can be disillusioning.. I'm probably not saying this well.. when I was attracted to something intangible in a woman, her excuse the expression spirit, then I not only felt I had the right to approach her but I was destined to do so..
What kind of signals do you send to a man if you like him to ask you out?
Well, there's smoke signals, morse code, ham radio, walkie talkies, encrypted messages, etc. but the most effective method is to be friendly, attempt to start conversations, be engaging and maybe do a bit of flirting. These are the tried and true ways in which a person can communicate the fact that they're interested. I also have to agree with those who've suggested that simply coming right out and asking the guy out instead of waiting for him to ask you out is a sure fire way to know exactly what he thinks without having to dilly dally around about it.
Well, there's smoke signals, morse code, ham radio, walkie talkies, encrypted messages, etc. but the most effective method is to be friendly, attempt to start conversations, be engaging and maybe do a bit of flirting. These are the tried and true ways in which a person can communicate the fact that they're interested. I also have to agree with those who've suggested that simply coming right out and asking the guy out instead of waiting for him to ask you out is a sure fire way to know exactly what he thinks without having to dilly dally around about it.
That's not sexy though, is it? I like a bit of intrigue..
Of course I know it goes both ways! That's why I'm kind when I turn them down and that's why I don't accept dates with men I'm clearly not interested in and that's why I try very hard to not send signals to men I'm not interested in so they won't ask me out in the first place where I'll have to deal with letting them down gently.
I have to wonder what guys want sometimes--many of you say you want a woman to ask you out, but when I get on here and mention that I do that, you still have to ask me if I realize that men don't like rejection? Duh. Nobody does, but I suck it up just like everyone should because it's not the end of the world. I move on and you should too. FTR--men send out false signals of interest also--it's not just attention craving women who do that and I have been misled into thinking a man was interested but too shy to ask me out. Now I figure that even if he's shy he'll ask me out if he's interested enough and if he doesn't, he's not interested enough. I would step up the flirting and look at him more for encouragement purposes, but it's a moot point b/c I just got divorced this year. I'm getting ready though, lol.
Just for the record, she's probably not ignoring him--she's probably too shy to even look him in the eye, and this is what's killed my chances with every man I ever had a big crush on. She may even be an outgoing girl in every other case, but with the guy she likes best she just can't quite manage to look at him. Groan. . .
Stepka, it seems like we have had very similar experiences. It is very tough for me to flirt with men I find attractive. Even look them in the eye. Usually, I want to run away.
The last guy I had an enormous crush on would pretty much stare me down or give me sideways smiles that were very suggestive. What else was I supposed to think? In addition, I was intimidated by him and I would also look away or get out of the room when I was around him. So I felt that maybe I had mistakenly and inadvertently made it look like I wasn't interested. I actually made a thread discussing this attraction and what I should do about it: //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...ted-women.html
I ended up emailing this guy and he stated that he was just getting out of a relationship and that since his internship was ending in June, it would be tough to justify starting anything. To be honest, he WAS very nice about it. It was awkward afterwards, however. He did randomly say hi to me in the hall one time, but other than that- it was clear that he was not interested in any companionship from me. He continues to try to make eye contact with me, and I don't know why. And ultimately, suffice it to say, probably just means he just wanted to see if I was slutty or something.
The worst part of being a woman and dating is that it is tough to tell whether a guy wants your companionship or your sex. Many will say about this intern that I was attracted to: "Oh but he's just getting out of a relationship", which IS true, but I know from my own personal experiences and my real life observations that if you meet someone who is worth it, you will make an effort to get to know them- even if it is at a slow pace. And I did, this guy has my email address so obviously if he wanted to contact me further he would have. Others have said "Well, he's leaving in June"- well I met my ex-bf in another state and we dated for four years long distance.
Ultimately, I have found that if a guy is sufficiently attracted to you, he will be compelled to do something about it the same way I felt driven to email this guy and get to know him. When you are really attracted to someone, you can't help yourself.
Mr. Humble wrote:
If a woman who I was attracted to made the first move and asked me out I think it would be incredibly sexy.
I'm sure there have been threads on this; men that prefer to pursue and men that prefer being pursued.. I probably fall into the first category.. but I'm sure that you are not alone..
GIRL: "Wanna come out to my car? I have something I want to show you."
GUY: "Oh boy! What is it? Candy? I love candy!!"
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