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Being skinny does not equal being healthy either. How about all of the thin people who starve themselves, go on wacky diets, smoke cigarettes, etc, to stay thin? Not to mention all of the bulimia and other eating disorders brought on by a culture that glamorizes "Barbie" and rail-thin supermodels. Stop pushing the same old bullcrap that being "overweight" is bad and being skinny is good.
I agree!!!!!
I'd much rather be with a bald fat man who loves life and is happy than a whiny skinny man who complains all the time!
Love and life is about sooooo much more than looks. I wish more women were happy about being the size that they are. I hate how we are portrayed in this country. If you are not skinny and hot you are worthless. That's such crap. Maybe if we got some actresses who spent more time with acting lessons and less time at the hair salon/plastic surgeon we'd have better role models to show Americans. Have you looked at the magazines in the checkout aisle lately? 9 out of 10 of the women's magazines have at least 1 article about how to lose weight, or otherwise improve your body. And almost all of them feature a sickly thin model on the cover. Bluck. What are we teaching our sons and daughters anyway?
The sterotypes are because, as I have already stated on this thread, they constitute a majority. I have said several times that I'm not talking about "all" fat or thin people.
What I was pointing out, if you re-read my original post on this particular area, was that many people do do what I stated above and yet it doesn't get pegged as "unhealthy" or even wrong for a person to be thin no matter what the means. And yes, there are millions, and I do mean millions of people who do the above in order to "get" thin. I don't believe I ever said "all". I was following through on my original idea which someone else answered.
And yes. Most people wish they were thinner. For other people. They don't want to be called fat (in a "nice way", of course) or turned down any more.
ETA: My mother-in-law weighs 75 pounds more than I. Seventy-five pounds...that's half a person (and sometimes more). And that's just based on the weight she tells everyone, unsolicited, that she is. She never stops telling me how I should lose the baby weight (give me time, lady, Jesus Christ, you've had 37 years to lose yours). She never stops telling or hinting or suggesting what a huge tub-of-lard I am at my weight...which truly isn't all that drastic. One thing that sticks out in my mind was when she took a picture of me with my youngest son and waved her arm up and down to indicate my entire body and said, "Don't worry. I'll crop this out of the picture."
It is so socially acceptable to just accept that a thin person is "healthy" and "sensible" and that a fat person is "lazy" and "gross" that even other fat people feel it's open season at any time to pick on other overweight people. Anyone...at any time. Even strangers--never happened to me but I've heard horror stories of supermarkets and strangers making "helpful" suggestions. The accusation is there: we're horribly unhealthy.
But nobody, nobody does this to a slender person. "Oh, she must eat sensibly." Billions of diet dollars, millions of psychiatrists' visits, etc. say that yes, there is a chance, a reasonably good chance that many, *not all*, but many, many very people one meets are using painful means to either get or stay thin...yet are never being accused of being unhealthy. In fact...they're applauded. The ones who have gotten thin, no matter how, are applauded for being "sensible". The fat people who are dieting are applauded *if* it's obvious that they're trying to get thin--again, no matter what the means.
You say you know many women who are just sensible and are thin. I'm sure many such people exist and that's awesome. That truly is healthy, and great! But I would also submit to you that you may know people who appear to "just be being sensible", but actually aren't. For 12 years, 12 full years, nobody knew my sister-in-law was bullemic. She ate the sensible meal at dinners out, but did eat; she worked out and was cheery about it. She smiled all the time. Not even the very closest people to her knew.
I'm sorry that this has all gotten so OT--obviously, none of this was part of the OP's question--but there has been a run on picking on "fat" people here lately to the extent that it is apparently open-season on heavy-person disdain. Even men are calling other men fat here lately, calling them Jabba the Hut...giggling all the while, oh, it's all just in good fun, etc. I find this very, very sad.
The fact of the matter is it is healthier to be on the thinner side than on the heavier side. There is no disputing that. Sure there are unhealthy thin women, but GENERALLY they are healthier than a woman who is overweight or obese. The AVERAGE woman who is the weight she is supposed to be (and not a drug or cigarette addict) will be much better off in her cardiovascular health than a woman who is overweight or obese.
This country has this new campaign of "embracing" people who are overweight. Please. I understand its hard to look at magazines if thats not you. I understand heavy people are ridiculed and thats not right. But, it is not good for you to be overweight. MOST people are overweight because they eat too much and too bad and don't move enough. Its that simple, its pure laziness. I said most, please do not retort with your exceptions or sob stories. If they ate better and moved more, they wouldn't be in the boat that they are. They enjoy life? They can't run with their kids, unless enjoying is merely eating, I consider it a sad existence and a bad role model for children.
No, overweight people should not be ridiculed, but they are putting themselves in harm's way, and of course a more active, healthier lifestyle is better. I read nothing but excuses and justifications on here and it is sad and easy to see through.
Until my health insurance is lowered because I am paying high premiums because of the mass obesity in this country, and until there is some law that the heavy woman can not spill herself into my airplane seat....I feel no pity. Eat less and move more like the rest of us, your health (and children) will thank you in the end, and your quality of life will improve.
The truth is fat people eat a lot more than they need, are generally attracted to thin people and are not able to be as happy sexually as normal people because they can't feel the same through the layers of fat. Its a fact and not meant to be cruel.
Keep talking.
You're getting uglier by the minute.
Which is good to know because it's not like I could tell from your exterior the kind of twisted point of view you hold inside and at least I know how to keep you away from me.
You know, I've gained considerable amounts of weight over my life and taken it off again, yoyo-ing up and down in my attempts to conform and it took me a lot of years to realize that it was a protective mechanism. As a teenager I discovered that I was highly appealing to the opposite sex, something I didn't like, which made me incredibly uncomfortable and the attention was completely unwanted. I do not need you or any other person male or female, basing your opinions of ME, the person I am, on how I look. So me and my "you've got such a pretty face, you'd be gorgeous if you just lost a little weight" body find absolutely NOTHING rewarding or desirable about conforming to the wants and opinions of people that think that way. If being curvy keeps the creepy crawlies away from my body THAT'S GREAT!!
Oh and for the record, you need to do a bit of reading about body types and metabolism. The assumption that someone is fat because they eat more than skinny people is ludicrous in the extreme. You can tell NOTHING about a person from how they look. You sure as hades can't tell if they're good in bed or not.
Ladies and gents, frankly just be yourselves. Every single one of us is unique and I know that many of you realize this and appreciate individuals for WHO they are and don't attribute all kinds of ridiculous stereotypes and dire health warnings based on body size and looks.
I think this societal idealized mumbo jumbo about the female form is so tiresome and just beyond ridiculous
Last edited by moonshadow; 05-19-2008 at 06:45 PM..
I'm sorry that this has all gotten so OT--obviously, none of this was part of the OP's question--but there has been a run on picking on "fat" people here lately to the extent that it is apparently open-season on heavy-person disdain. Even men are calling other men fat here lately, calling them Jabba the Hut...giggling all the while, oh, it's all just in good fun, etc. I find this very, very sad.
Yes, I am with you here. We shouldn't be mocking anyone, thin or fat.
Agree the Jabba the Hut remarks are revolting.
The fact of the matter is it is healthier to be on the thinner side than on the heavier side. There is no disputing that. Sure there are unhealthy thin women, but GENERALLY they are healthier than a woman who is overweight or obese. The AVERAGE woman who is the weight she is supposed to be (and not a drug or cigarette addict) will be much better off in her cardiovascular health than a woman who is overweight or obese.
This country has this new campaign of "embracing" people who are overweight. Please. I understand its hard to look at magazines if thats not you. I understand heavy people are ridiculed and thats not right. But, it is not good for you to be overweight. MOST people are overweight because they eat too much and too bad and don't move enough. Its that simple, its pure laziness. I said most, please do not retort with your exceptions or sob stories. If they ate better and moved more, they wouldn't be in the boat that they are. They enjoy life? They can't run with their kids, unless enjoying is merely eating, I consider it a sad existence and a bad role model for children.
No, overweight people should not be ridiculed, but they are putting themselves in harm's way, and of course a more active, healthier lifestyle is better. I read nothing but excuses and justifications on here and it is sad and easy to see through.
Until my health insurance is lowered because I am paying high premiums because of the mass obesity in this country, and until there is some law that the heavy woman can not spill herself into my airplane seat....I feel no pity. Eat less and move more like the rest of us, your health (and children) will thank you in the end, and your quality of life will improve.
Honestly, after saying how people shouldn't judge each other, you have done a pretty good job of sounding judgemental - and banning people from responding with their 'sob stories'. Nice job.
It's because we have an obesity epidemic, and we realize we are (statistically) the fattest nation on earth. Drastic times call for drastic changes, and that includes our mentality. So skinny becomes sexy, at any cost. Once everyone learns to moderate their eating and exercise a bit more, and obesity is not the problem that it currently has become, opinions will probably calm down.
chia my only concern with that is how it is being handled world wide. The way this is being presented to people, in my opinion, having battled anorexia and bulimia for many years is that, these comments, media releases and the huge outcry going on about obesity and the "waif look" is only going to increase eating disorders a thousand fold and you will see more and more people getting caught up in the cycle. Drastic perhaps may be necesssary but it's how they're doing drastic that is going to cause the biggest problems. Get drastic in the desire to educate and not just on calories and exercise but on the psychology of eating too. Get drastic about how we view the human body and value people. Get drastic about the ridiculous portrayal of people and lifestyle from a marketing sense. Get drastic about the overt sexualization of people from an early age. Get drastic about helping people find the true value of others. It's not anything to do with how they look and everything to do with who they are. Otherwise this huge outcry of fat hating is going to end very badly indeed.
Oh and to the OP, I'm really not sure what I think about your original questions. It seems to me that people connect for a whole bunch of reasons. I'm not sure that specifically setting out to find someone simply because they are larger is any less offensive than specifically rejecting them because they are. I mean what will you do if the girl of your dreams shows up, you know she's the one for you and it just so happens she's thin? Then what? You go against what you know to be a true connection simply because she's not curvy enough??
I am an overweight girl. It is finally catching up with me. My blood pressure is too high, but all my other tests came back okay. To get it back down without meds, I will have to lose some weight. I am within your size range and for me it is too much for my body. For others it might not affect them. I don't want to be model thin, but a healthy weight for me. Everybody has to find that for themselves.
I actually don't date right now, even though I get hit on once in awhile. I like thinner men. I would probably say no more than 30 pds overweight. I'm just saying what I'm attracted too. I suppose if I met the most wonderful guy and he was 70 pds overweight that would be okay, but I am attracted to what would be considered a normal weight in a man. I think a reason you see heavy people with heavy people is they probably do the same things together and that may have led them to be overweight possibly?
Also not all weight gain is because of overeating. I don't overeat. I eat roughly the same amount of calories I did when I was thin. I'm just sedentary. If I exercised a few times a week for an hour a time I would be quite thinner. I don't like it when everybody thinks overweight people are heavy just because they overeat. I think it is multiple factors. I even have thyroid disease, which isn't helping anything.
I like the fact that others like different body types. It is a good thing.
On where to find bigger girls, well in my case normal places like work, school, and stores etc... I don't go to bars or anything like that.
In the end I just want a guy who can be good to me and love me. I think that is what most women want.
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