Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Because today's generation, women act more dominate than their male counterparts. Now, it is the women calling, dinning and chasing the men. When it used to be the other way around. Personally, I prefer to be sort after, I wouldn't feel comfortable chasing after a man, If a man wants you, he will chase you and do the calling.
It works for me all the time. When a man offers his number to me, I look at him and simply say, sorry, I do not call men, they call me...(not in a stuck up way) but a nice way, and you know what...They do the persuing and we take it from there. Woman should not make it so easy for a man. You call him, he bangs you and then leaves you...and women wonder what went wrong...
Not in all cases, but in most cases it occurs, I have five brothers and 7 uncles, they told me, it could be the year 3010, men still like to be the one to chase the woman...if they find you interesting enough.
Hi Lakotastar,
Uhhh..If he walked up to you to give you his number, he was already chasing you. Anything afterwords would be a reciprocation. Were I still in the field, I would offer my number as a courtesy that your number may not end up in the hands of a maniac. In that case, she has the maniac's number...
It's a fine line to walk as well because if the challenge is too hard and you've got the fortress up then we just move on somewhere else. I've had women act to the point of disinterest and then they come back at me why I gave up on them. Well all the signals I got were of disinterest so I moved on to make better use of my time. How long do I hang in there for?
For me if there is no reciprocation I move on quickly. I just have no time for games. I think there are a lot of men out there my age that feel the same.
I agree...Ive had the exact same thing happen to me...I pursue, they act disinterested, I say "Ok, she's not interested...cool..moving on"....THEN like two weeks later they call/email me asking why I havent contacted them in a long time...I tell them "because you told me not to, or that you werent interested." (actually, she hung up on me for acting too immature...lol..so I never called back) --- then they act like Ive done something wrong for not contacting them...
It was all too much work for me....between my job and school at the time, I had enough things to slave away at than to play cat and mouse with her ego and chip away at her wall of ice that she had up...
Oh well, I guess Im just not persistent/perservering enough..but at least I succeeded at the other things that mattered to me.
I agree...Ive had the exact same thing happen to me...I pursue, they act disinterested, I say "Ok, she's not interested...cool..moving on"....THEN like two weeks later they call/email me asking why I havent contacted them in a long time...I tell them "because you told me not to, or that you werent interested." (actually, she hung up on me for acting too immature...lol..so I never called back) --- then they act like Ive done something wrong for not contacting them...
It was all too much work for me....between my job and school at the time, I had enough things to slave away at than to play cat and mouse with her ego and chip away at her wall of ice that she had up...
Oh well, I guess Im just not persistent/perservering enough..but at least I succeeded at the other things that mattered to me.
Not saying this is the case with you, to be clear, but this post reminds me of this guy I dated before I was married (a loose reminder). He was a great guy, tho, not the typical sort I would normally hang out with. We were casually dating. When I say casual, I mean very casual; not involved in any way, just getting to know eachother. At some point he sends me an email stating that I must be mad that he hadn't gotten back to me in so many days and that he's sorry, etc. He also mentioned it a couple of other times. He worked up this scenerio in his head. I tried to convince him all was cool, but there was a bit of dark vibe to it all.
Like you, I was pretty busy, all sorts of this or that going on. When he did or didn't call never really dawned on me. He came by a few times to my spot, we talked on the phone, and then poof! gone lol. Who knows.
Not saying this is the case with you, to be clear, but this post reminds me of this guy I dated before I was married (a loose reminder). He was a great guy, tho, not the typical sort I would normally hang out with. We were casually dating. When I say casual, I mean very casual; not involved in any way, just getting to know eachother. At some point he sends me an email stating that I must be mad that he hadn't gotten back to me in so many days and that he's sorry, etc. He also mentioned it a couple of other times. He worked up this scenerio in his head. I tried to convince him all was cool, but there was a bit of dark vibe to it all.
Like you, I was pretty busy, all sorts of this or that going on. When he did or didn't call never really dawned on me. He came by a few times to my spot, we talked on the phone, and then poof! gone lol. Who knows.
That sounds strange Brauwyn...it sounds like he never really gave things a chance...His paranoia seems like it took the air right out of you guy's/lady's sail. I think he was actually trying to get you to pursue HIM..by convincing you that you couldnt be content without his interaction..why else would he be so insistent that you were mad at him for not contacting you?
Either way, I find it best to concentrate on getting the things in order that will matter in the long run, first...people come and go, and the ones who are really serious wont be so easily driven away by such frivolity or without reason.
That sounds strange Brauwyn...it sounds like he never really gave things a chance...His paranoia seems like it took the air right out of you guy's/lady's sail. I think he was actually trying to get you to pursue HIM..by convincing you that you couldnt be content without his interaction..why else would he be so insistent that you were mad at him for not contacting you?
He was recently divorced. I don't know if that meant anything. I thought it might have been based on previous experiences. It never translated as him trying to get me to pursue him. Eh, maybe. I was just surprised that there were perceived expectations on his part or according to him (whatever I'm trying to say lol) when we weren't in a relationship.
Now that I think of it, as I mentioned, he wasn't the normal type I usually dated. It could be a cultural thing I'm not familiar with.
Quote:
Either way, I find it best to concentrate on getting the things in order that will matter in the long run, first...people come and go, and the ones who are really serious wont be so easily driven away by such frivolity or without reason.
Yea, that's true. When he disappeared I didn't really pay that much attention either. I was often oblivious in my 20s. Hmm, now that I'm thinking some more, maybe he was used to women acting a certain way. He was very pretty in every way.
Not saying this is the case with you, to be clear, but this post reminds me of this guy I dated before I was married (a loose reminder). He was a great guy, tho, not the typical sort I would normally hang out with. We were casually dating. When I say casual, I mean very casual; not involved in any way, just getting to know eachother. At some point he sends me an email stating that I must be mad that he hadn't gotten back to me in so many days and that he's sorry, etc. He also mentioned it a couple of other times. He worked up this scenerio in his head. I tried to convince him all was cool, but there was a bit of dark vibe to it all.
Like you, I was pretty busy, all sorts of this or that going on. When he did or didn't call never really dawned on me. He came by a few times to my spot, we talked on the phone, and then poof! gone lol. Who knows.
Hi Braunwyn,
I remember just before I had that years long stretch without having a girl friend that I went 3 weeks without contacting my then girl friend. She was a little mad. I realized I was not really boy friend material. Ironically I was marriage material at some point, but yeah, busy with girl friends is even worse since living with someone tends to help with maintenance.
I remember just before I had that years long stretch without having a girl friend that I went 3 weeks without contacting my then girl friend. She was a little mad. I realized I was not really boy friend material. Ironically I was marriage material at some point, but yeah, busy with girl friends is even worse since living with someone tends to help with maintenance.
I can see a girl/boy friend being miffed. But, expectations of folk we don't know or know well is odd imo. When it comes to marriage, from my pov it always comes down to safety. I want the call to know he's safe 90% of the time.
I can see a girl/boy friend being miffed. But, expectations of folk we don't know or know well is odd imo. When it comes to marriage, from my pov it always comes down to safety. I want the call to know he's safe 90% of the time.
Hi Braunwyn,
I could see that. Making sure he is safe only about 90% of the time you will probably keep the phone calls in the single digits before his demise. An usual but effective way to keep down the phone chatter....
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
