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Don't want to sound harsh, but no matter how much women have advanced in today's society, they still cannot support a freeloader boyfriend or fiance. Even if the woman makes 10 times more money, she cannot support a freeloader emotionally, becoz I bet women love to be the girlfriends/wives of achievers and not the underdogs.
You might wanna take this as a lesson and never let your future man manipulate you and exploit you.
You really need to stop generalizing about what women think and want. I want an equal, nothing more nothing less.
Thanks to everyone with the advice.
He came home and of course made as much noise as he could while I was sleeping, to wake me up. I got up and made some coffee. He said he was only home for a bit then was heading out to hit two more meetings. I asked him if something was wrong and he said no, just that he felt deprived of going to his meetings as he hasn't been for a few days. He's normally a one a day and has quite the AA group of friends.
I asked him if what he wanted to do for dinner then and he said nothing, that he hadn't eaten and wasn't hungry. I said I hadn't eaten either. No comment from him, he simply doesn't care. So he said do you want some cash? I said no I have my debit card. Then he went off again.."my money isn't good enough for you? I said "what a bizarre statement, it has nothing to do with that, I have my card!" There is something wrong in this man's mind.
I called my ex after he left and ex is having personal problems of his own and can't come over. I am thinking of texting bf that I want a break from him and to go to his mother's house. But I KNOW he will turn around and come back here and want to "talk" about it. I called the police non-emergency line and explained it to them and they said they can't come out as this is a civil matter and unless something actually happens to me they can't do anything. By the way, I live in Kansas City, Missouri, population 700,000 or so. The police here are too busy chasing the murderers and gang related shootings to mess with something like me.
I do not have any family which makes me feel even more isolated, which is why I got on my computer to ask perfect strangers for help.
I think what I'm going to try is when he gets home (no he doesn't pay any rent and no there is no weird backward common law marriage in this state) is word it as delicately as I can that I need a break from him..make it sound temporary..that I'm needing some time to myself and not place any blame on him. He gets extremely defensive in the past if I've said or implied he is the one with the problem in ANY area, be it cooking or cleaning the cat box. I will have my cell phone in my pocket just in case. Of course it's easy to type this out here but doing it is another matter. God give me the courage!!!
For those of you that think I'm a pathetic loser for being with this guy just pass on commenting as I can't take much more. For those that truly care THANK YOU.
What's an AA Group?
Anyway, have you seen the movie burn after reading? Malkovich comes home and finds his belongings in the street and the door locked with changed keys.
Just throw him out. Charity is only meant for useful people. Some people don't deserve to inhabit the planet. And you certainly don't need to go through this crapola.
If he does not own any part of the residence or pay rent, you can kick him out at any time. Ask him to leave (and have a couple of friends present when you do), and if he does not, call police. Make sure that when he does leave, he takes every last shred of his possessions, or anything he's paid for, with him.
Based on what you said, I don't think you have enough for a restraining order, but if you are truly afraid of this man, you might want to talk to a lawyer in your area.
Actually, no she can't. If that's his primary residence she has to officially evict him, which can take 30-60 days depending on the state/city laws. If she goes the TRO route with nothing to support it she could possibly get one anyway as they're handed out like candy anyway, but she'd be liable for a defamation of character lawsuit and for violating his civil rights.
I don't think he is generalizing. All healthy people want to be in relationships (romantic or otherwise) with healthy, productive people.
That isn't what I was referring to. The women/girlfriends part where we want only achievers is what p**sed me off. At this point in my life all I want is someone who is normal and has a job. I could care less if he makes more or less than me. Of course we are after healthy relationships. I disliked the generalization from a man of what he thinks women want. We cannot all be grouped together.
Thanks. He didn't play this game in the beginning. He started using an old computer of mine while I was at work because he said he was bored.
So why not throw out YOUR old computer? Don't keep any computers at home, so he has nothing to play games on. And turn off your house internet and cable connections while you're at it until he leaves. Make your house as boring as possible for him to be in. Basically, you are enabling him to take advantage of you.
How big is your house? Surely your ex has a buddy or you have a male co-worker that can pretend to be your new roommate moving in while you make him move out. And if your boyfriend is such a loser, he can move to a homeless shelter to live in next. But maybe he has a friend he can borrow a sofa from.
That isn't what I was referring to. The women/girlfriends part where we want only achievers is what p**sed me off. At this point in my life all I want is someone who is normal and has a job. I could care less if he makes more or less than me. Of course we are after healthy relationships. I disliked the generalization from a man of what he thinks women want. We cannot all be grouped together.
Someone who is normal with a job is considered an achiever.
An underachiever for example is someone with anger issues and no job.
So why not throw out YOUR old computer? Don't keep any computers at home, so he has nothing to play games on. And turn off your house internet and cable connections while you're at it until he leaves. Make your house as boring as possible for him to be in. Basically, you are enabling him to take advantage of you.
How big is your house? Surely your ex has a buddy or you have a male co-worker that can pretend to be your new roommate moving in while you make him move out. And if your boyfriend is such a loser, he can move to a homeless shelter to live in next. But maybe he has a friend he can borrow a sofa from.
Yes, I agree with that
Time to start making his stay time miserable. You don't even have to make it look like you obviously did it. Secretly delete the windows folder when he is away.
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