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I would tell him to leave and if he refuses, immediately call the police! Nobody deserves to be treated with such disrespect. Sure, you could threaten him and tell him he needs to find work or you will kick him out, but whose to say that he will keep that job and not make you his fall back plan again in the future? He seems very selfish, you aren't even married, you don't need to be babysitting this grown man. You can't live like this...this situation is toxic...
I just wanted to stop in and update. I've made some calls today. It's a lot easier to get ahold of people on a Monday than a Sunday night. If I'd had these resources available last night maybe I wouldn't have chickened out. So please don't call me spineless or judge me.
I have contacted several old friends on FB, male, that all have jumped at the chance to come over tonight. My ex is also planning on coming. My plan is to arrive home the same time everyone else gets there, tell "bf" to leave and leave the rest to the men there. I have notified KC Police of what is going to happen and they said they can patrol my house on a regular basis for me for the next several days. The locksmith is coming tonight at 8pm, found one who makes housecalls..My ex is giving me a handgun to protect myself with. I don't plan on using it, god forbid, but it might give me a small sense of security.
So the plans are in motion..I already feel stronger and almost free. All I needed was support and direction and I thank you all for doing that for me!!
I guess I came to the thread too late...but anyway, good job!
Bad advice. If he's living there, you can't just "kick him out" regardless of whether he is paying rent or not. If you do, an expensive court judgement in his favor awaits.
Yes, she can ask him to leave and that boils down to kicking him out, whether he's paying rent or not is irrelevant, he can stay and the police don't get involved, if he's foolish enough to take it to court a judge will have good laugh, but thats about it.
I am reading alot of people saying "just throw him out" "bring the police". Laughable!!
I don't see how it's possible to just throw someone out legally. There is a sequence of events that must take place. That is his legal residence, correct? Rent or not, he's living there. You need to give him at least one month or ample time to find another living arrangement , by law.
Just because someone has been hanging out at your house for a period of time doesn't make it his legal residence. That would be true if there was a rental agreement and he was paying monthly rent but he's just a freeloader who has no legal right to be there.
Just because someone has been hanging out at your house for a period of time doesn't make it his legal residence. That would be true if there was a rental agreement and he was paying monthly rent but he's just a freeloader who has no legal right to be there.
Actually, and I forget which state(s) it is, once a person is in your home for a certain amount of time (7 days in once case I recall), they must be legally evicted if they don't leave voluntarily.
Just because someone has been hanging out at your house for a period of time doesn't make it his legal residence. That would be true if there was a rental agreement and he was paying monthly rent but he's just a freeloader who has no legal right to be there.
I disagree. If you live there, that is your residence, and it's fairly easy to prove if you have mail (especially bills) delivered there. However, none of us (other than Redisca, I believe, and I don't believe she specializes in Missouri civil law anyway) is a lawyer. The OP needs to seek advice from professionals in her area. A women's shelter will know exactly whom to contact for advice, which will probably be free.
I would tell him to leave and if he refuses, immediately call the police! Nobody deserves to be treated with such disrespect.
Sorry, but real world doesn't work that way. She can end up owing him a lot of money in the lawsuit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkir386
Sure, you could threaten him and tell him he needs to find work or you will kick him out...
FYI, that's considered domestic violence now and can get her thrown in jail in some states, not to mention sued (as has been mentioned several times in this thread already).
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkir386
...but whose to say that he will keep that job and not make you his fall back plan again in the future? He seems very selfish, you aren't even married, you don't need to be babysitting this grown man. You can't live like this...this situation is toxic...
Yup, time for her to be a grown up and take some responsibility and A) formally evict him and B) break up with him. Resorting to calling up white knights to "protect her" because she's acting like a child who can't accept responsibility for her predicament is laughable, not to mention the specter of violence SHE raises by escalating to bringing a gun to what's a relatively simple thing adults deal with on a daily basis.
Enough's enough. Time to grow a spine, tell him it's over, and that he needs to find a new place to live. If you feel comfortable having a friend or two over then fine. Trying to frame it as if he's some big scary monster when he's done nothing to warrant such an opinion, let alone to people who have never met the guy, is childish attention seeking at best.
Sorry, but real world doesn't work that way. She can end up owning him a lot of money in the lawsuit.
How?
Quote:
FYI, that's considered domestic violence now and can get her thrown in jail in some states, not to mention sued (as has been mentioned several times in this thread already).
LMAO! Where do you people get your information?
Quote:
Yup, time for her to be a grown up and take some responsibility and A) formally evict him and B) break up with him. Resorting to calling up white knights to "protect her" because she's acting like a child who can't accept responsibility for her predicament is laughable, not to mention the specter of violence SHE raises by escalating to bringing a gun to what's a relatively simple thing adults deal with on a daily basis.
Enough's enough. Time to grow a spine, tell him it's over, and that he needs to find a new place to live. If you feel comfortable having a friend or two over then fine. Trying to frame it as if he's some big scary monster when he's done nothing to warrant such an opinion, let alone to people who have never met the guy, is childish attention seeking at best.
You seriously post this gibberish to offend and nothing more.
There are certainly laws in place to protect people from just booting people out at will, and of course, I am not an expert in this area nor a lawyer. However, it IS laughable to think it's OK to do such a thing with no legal recourse in return. There are quite a few costs that can be sued for in a civil court from being forced out of your place of inhabitance.
Of course the OP can ask the person to leave! However, I would certainly think twice about forcing him out. Just giving you all "the other side!"
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