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And they do not chat often. I guess the last time I saw hi in an open chat was about a year ago. It just sparked my memory this morning when I noticed his chat session open talking to the other girl about her inviting us to her homecoming game this Friday. The girls he was chatting with don't even come to our church anymore so I'm not sure he's even still in contact with them.
Emoticon sensitivity?
Or maybe the OP is being purposefully vague because she is unhappy in the marriage and is looking for excuses to back out. Because accusations of inappropriate interactions with underaged persons is a pretty serious allegation.
Her thread about is a recent one about a recent event. And he was a youth minister, which isn't a counselor.
April,
No, he's not doing it right now. If you would have read the post correctly and not immediately assumed the guy was a pedophile for chatting with young girls you would have noticed. She, the OP, said that he's only chatted with these young girls once in the past 6 months or so. Face it. Teenagers are in a technological mindset right now. If you want to reach them you have to do it via their preference. Texting, chatting, and social media is the way they communicate. She also said that he talks to these same kids in church in the presence of their parents. He teaches their sunday school class. They've been together 13 years so if there's never been a case of impropriety at this point why now would he risk his position just for some young tail?
Now to my point. When the wife walked into the room and saw him chatting, he wasn't chatting with one of these girls. He was chatting with the daughter of a friend of his who had passed away. This girl, obviously in high school, was asking him to come to her homecoming game this weekend because she was in the homecoming court and she wanted them there to support her. So no, he wasn't chatting with these young girls per se, he was responding to this other girl's request. To me, that's admirable of him to still show an interest in the life of a child who's lost her mother, his lifelong friend. There's nothing like a father figure. And even to these other girls, let's face it. Most of those girls living in housing projects do not have father figures. Why can't a guy be in the life of a young girl without people automatically thinking he's only out for one thing? If anything, you need to look at these young girls. I'm 46 years old and let me tell you this. The do not dress like 15, 16 and 17 year old girls did when we were that age. Today's motto seems to be "less is more."
I find it funny that grown women can look at young guys in boy bands or pre-pubescent actors on TV and no one says a thing. However, the minute a youth counselor has several Facebook messages with people he mentors and has a relationship with then he needs to be struck up and castrated.
Its pretty amazing to me how successful feminism has been at reprogramming people to believe that all men are pedophiles, rapists and an instant danger. Its really sad to me. If I ever have kids, I hope I don't have a boy, because I have no idea what Id tell him. I hope that mainstream sheep wake up at some point and realize how ridiculous their views on gender relations are.
Its pretty amazing to me how successful feminism has been at reprogramming people to believe that all men are pedophiles, rapists and an instant danger. Its really sad to me. If I ever have kids, I hope I don't have a boy, because I have no idea what Id tell him. I hope that mainstream sheep wake up at some point and realize how ridiculous their views on gender relations are.
I don't know that it's feminism that's done any of that. Plenty of old-school traditional thinking people maintain that men are only after one thing and that and that women need to be protected (e.g. that trope of a father with a shotgun at the door when his daughter's prom date shows up.)
Its pretty amazing to me how successful feminism has been at reprogramming people to believe that all men are pedophiles, rapists and an instant danger. Its really sad to me. If I ever have kids, I hope I don't have a boy, because I have no idea what Id tell him. I hope that mainstream sheep wake up at some point and realize how ridiculous their views on gender relations are.
Based on some of the replies to the other thread NO MAN should ever be left alone with young girls. Just reading what I saw, this guy is doing nothing wrong.
I think everybody who comments on the OP's weight should state their own body shape.
I agree with the others. Why? And my pic is in my profile so people can see what I look like. I have nothing to hide. I don't think 5'6 and 150 is obese/unhealthy/whatever.
And the weight thing ultimately is secondary to what's really going on in the OP's relationship.
I am a size 6, hourglass/pear shape. I weigh less than the op but I'm also shorter than her(I'm 5ft2). I have actually been described as being slim thick, and I have a big butt, and I'm black like the op. I've also had friends who grew up thin and desperately wanted to get thicker because of this crazy belief that black men only like big butts and thick women. So I understand the op. And being that I am a thick girl but still believe that she needs to take personal responsibility for how her not taking care of herself to be thick has impacted her marriage has nothing to do with my size. In fact I could flame her husband for not preferring my body type but I can understand his POV, no matter my size.
I always find threads like this to be annoying because women are supposed to be perpetually skinny and pretty while men get beer guts, bald and become impotent and WE are supposed to continue to love THEM through all of that.
People change. So if the OP were in an accident and lost a leg or arm is it now ok for her husband to leave her because he didn't marry her that way. Many of the attitudes in this thread are so shallow.
there is a hell of a difference between someone getting into an accident and losing an arm or leg and someone getting fat because they got lazy and don't care about their looks anymore like they used to! SERIOUSLY??
This chick gained weight because she chose to stuff her face with food, and live an unhealthy lifestyle. Period! She totally let herself go. You cannot equate that with some accident, or medical issue that she cant control. She CAN control this.
And as far as all the beer gut men; no woman has to deal with that if she doesn't want to. If she chooses to accept a mans weight gain, unhealthy lifestyle, etc that's on her. No one is forcing women to accept that cra*p either.
Sorry, I've been away a while but I have read all the posts and comments. As hard as it may sound, no woman wants her man/husband to comment on her weight. We all would think that our men should/would love us the way we are as well as desire us the way we are. Yes, I gained weight and I liked the way it looked on me. However, my husband didn't. I've caught him looking at thinner, slender women and it bothers me. I guess the reason why I'm having such a problem with this is because my husband and I are trying to save our marriage. I found out about a year and a half ago that he cheated on me with a younger woman. Yes, I was devastated. We've gone to counseling and he's apologized and said it was only a one time thing with a woman he met online.
This morning I showed him some pills that I was going to order and his response was, "why are you looking for a lose weight fast pill when changing your eating habits and exercising is the way to do it?" Shoot me for trying. He even made mention last night to point out my eating habits. He cooked spaghetti for dinner and 5 minutes after taking my plate to the kitchen I walked back in the room with a bowl of cereal. I'm trying. I go to the gym 1 day a week but it's just hard to drop weight. I've asked him to loose weight with me and his response is that men loose weight much faster than women so he didn't want me to get upset when he started to drop weight faster than me. He said he would though.
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