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Quite frankly, I don't see anything wrong with her remaining a housewife. It's not like you need the extra income. As long as she doesn't put you into the poor house with her spending and shows you a modicum of respect, just let her be. WTH.
All this will do is create isolation for her from her son. He won't change.
My SO's family does not like me. I don't know why, I am nice, work full time, whatever. He has decided that unless they accept me, he won't go to their home. I stay out of this, he has made this choice on his own. He has stopped talking to his son.
People need to stay out of the personal lives of family members. Accept who they are with graciously. Whether you like the person or not.
You think if you died tomorrow or divorced her, she wouldn't have to find a job? Why not waitressing? It was good enough for her once. Both of you need to the pull stick out and get over yourselves.
You think if you died tomorrow or divorced her, she wouldn't have to find a job? Why not waitressing? It was good enough for her once. Both of you need to the pull stick out and get over yourselves.
She views waitressing, most likely, as beneath her now and as a demeaning job. Back then, she had to, I was barely making any money and she had to pitch in. Now that there's money. Why waitress?
Sorry that your wife is not very intelligent but is so very useless that there's virtually no prospects that you can think of for her. This is something you should be working on with her, instead of playing games, talking smack and getting nowhere.
She views waitressing, most likely, as beneath her now and as a demeaning job. Back then, she had to, I was barely making any money and she had to pitch in. Now that there's money. Why waitress?
Waitressing? Beneath her? When did your wife get her college degree? Did she do attend lectures or is she "self educated"? When did she get on-the job experience? Was it through extensive volunteer work?
What possible other career is she trained to do? Complain to her spouse and lock herself in the bedroom until she gets the expensive dinner or piece of jewelry that she wants (but can't pay for herself because she doesn't have a job)? I haven't seen too many ads for that career (except on Craigslist).
Many/most women feel that it is important to help contribute to their family. Some do it by working, some do it by raising the children, some do it by keeping a neat house & cooking gourmet meals, some do it by having great discussions & adventures with their spouse and some do it by being great a hostess and planning parties and dinners for their spouses business associates. And some do all five.
Irish, you and your wife are 37. Think about how you will feel at 47 after being the sole supporter of your family for 25 years. How will you feel at 57 after being sole support for 35 years? What about after 40 or even 45 years? And then picture being retired with your wife for the next 20 years. Are you looking forward to it?
Waitressing? Beneath her? When did your wife get her college degree? Did she do attend lectures or is she "self educated"? When did she get on-the job experience? Was it through extensive volunteer work?
Some do it by working, some do it by raising the children
I honestly do think if I went to her and said " Hey XYZ restaurant is hiring..." ( I probably would be a little more subtle but that's beside the point) I'd get a scoff and an eye roll in return. She has no college degree. She found a waitressing job after she had him and waitressed for a few years. To be honest, she really did to a great job raising him when and I wasn't there. She wasn't perfect but she didn't treat her situation like " I don't care how this kid turns out". Whenever I came home or they came to see me I was in awe of how well she raised him considering the circumstances. He wasn't loud or misbehaved, he had his moments but those were nipped in the bud immediately. Obviously the wheels came of the wagon during the teen years a little bit( read the first post of my first thread for more detail.)
... To be honest, she really did do a great job raising him ...
Hmmm, I noticed that you wrote DID do a great job. So, her job raising your family is completed. Now what?
I know that you and I don't see eye to eye on this matter. Most people marry someone with the same intelligence and educational level. That way they will have something to talk about after their child grow up and leave home.
Your son will be gone very soon. What will happen then?
BTW 37 is not too old to get a college degree. If someone graduates at 41 they still have 25 years (or more) before they retire.
As I said earlier, Irish, I think it is less about earning a paycheck than it is about contributing to the household. Why should she get to "quit" her job as mom at the age of 37 but you have a good 20-30 years of work left? You give, she takes. There is no equity here.
Hmmm, I noticed that you wrote DID do a great job. So, her job raising your family is completed. Now what?
I know that you and I don't see eye to eye on this matter. Most people marry someone with the same intelligence and educational level. That way they will have something to talk about after their child grow up and leave home.
Your son will be gone very soon. What will happen then?
BTW 37 is not too old to get a college degree. If someone graduates at 41 they still have 25 years (or more) before they retire.
Going to college would require work, a 4 letter word in her mind. I'm not saying she's 100% lazy, when she wants to throw a dinner party or whatever, she's the Michael Jordan of dinner parties and such.
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