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That's a good question. My husband has a quandry with this. You basically have to schedule your day so that there's a family bathroom in there somewhere. She's only 3 now, so there's a little wiggle room.
But when she turns 6/7/8, there's no way she's going to go into the men's room with him and it's obviously not kosher for him to go into a women's room with her - so I guess we'll have to teach her how to handle it herself and deal with any potential danger. (Which is, IMO, what we should be doing anyway).
What other option is there? It seems to be OK with everybody to take their boy into the ladies room but a girl out with her daddy has to learn to go in there by themselves - seeing as it freaks people out so much to see a man in the ladies'.
Perhaps all of you who cast aspersions on other people's parenting because they dare to let their children go to the bathroom by themselves could at least relax your stance on men not being allowed to accompany their female children into the ladies' room.
To be honest because women's restrooms have stalls with doors, I don't think it would bother me at all if a Dad brought his little girl in, so much better than taking her into the men's room, my boys are usually pretty vocal about how nasty the men's room usually is
I never said I wasn't allowing my kids to use public restrooms.....THAT would be eliminating all risk. I just take extra precaution at this point by taking them into the ladies room with me.
I absolutely have my kids in swimming lessons....THAT is doing something w/in my power to make them safe. I will also teach them to NEVER swim alone...even as an adult. That's just basic safety practices for anyone (kid or adult). Same thing for seat belts. Obviously I cannot eliminate 100% of risk for my kids, but I'm sure as heck going to keep them safe with basic safety measures.
I didn't say that you did. What I am saying is that we all take risks, every day of our lives.
I think disallowing older children to use a public restroom goes beyond basic safety measures and into overkill.
To be honest because women's restrooms have stalls with doors, I don't think it would bother me at all if a Dad brought his little girl in, so much better than taking her into the men's room, my boys are usually pretty vocal about how nasty the men's room usually is
The problem is by encouraging dads or even teenage boys into women's bathrooms, aren't you raising a new set of problems for the women and female children using said bathroom? Honestly if I went into a women's bathroom and there was a man there, or even an older teenage boy I would have concerns about my daughter being in there on her own. They may be a dad thinking he is doing the right thing but I don't know him or his motives, I'm just going to think he's a creep. My husband took my daugher into men's bathrooms if there were no family bathrooms.
Sex-separated public toilets are a source of difficulty for some people. For example, people with children of the opposite sex must choose between bringing the child into a toilet not designated for the child's gender, or entering a toilet not designated for one's own. Men caring for babies often find that only the women's washroom has been fitted with a change table. People with disabilities who need assistance to use the restroom have an additional problem if their helper is the opposite sex.
The problem is by encouraging dads or even teenage boys into women's bathrooms, aren't you raising a new set of problems for the women and female children using said bathroom? Honestly if I went into a women's bathroom and there was a man there, or even an older teenage boy I would have concerns about my daughter being in there on her own. They may be a dad thinking he is doing the right thing but I don't know him or his motives, I'm just going to think he's a creep. My husband took my daugher into men's bathrooms if there were no family bathrooms.
In an ideal world this would never be an issue, there would be a family bathroom anywhere there are public bathrooms, unfortunately ours is not an ideal world.
I honestly don't have a problem with kids accompanying their parents into opposite-sex restrooms. If that makes the parent and the child feel better, go for it. But, for the love of Pete, if your little boy is using the toilet inside the ladies room, could you please wipe the seat after he's done? Thank you!
I do think that some of us here need to loosen those apron strings. From reading here, I do think that there is gross exaggeration to the dangers found inside the men's room. Seriously, if you cannot trust your 10-year-old son to go in the men's room by himself, assess the situation inside that it's safe if you lose sight of him for just a minute, I will think that the area you are in is really dangerous and the entire place is better avoided, not just the men's room. Both mother and son better leave right away! The danger is not limited to the men's room. The ladies' room is not such a safe haven either especially if it's empty and isolated.
If your son is old enough to be embarrassed going to the ladies' room, it's really time to let go. You can always go inside the men's room if it took your son longer than he's supposed to be inside anyway. The chances of a crime happening within a minute or two of going inside the men's room, is very very slim.
Seriously, for those mothers who feel that they need their 11-year-old sons to use the ladies' room, what do you do if you're the one who needs to go? Do you drag your son inside the ladies' room too because it's just too dangerous for him if you lose sight of him? I think this is really unnecessary in most cases and I pity the boy. You may be "protecting" him from physical harm (which I doubt you'll even be able to successfully defend yourself and your son in the unlikely and unfortunate event that three muscular men attacked you), but that overprotection is very emotionally unhealthy for a young boy. You just killed his self-esteem right there.
We have a friend who makes her 13yo daughter wear a pullup (read diaper) when they go out because she will not allow the girl to use public rest rooms. She has heard stories of women being assulted in them and this is her (over) reaction. And its not a force thing. The girl just goes with it. She and her mom both think it is a practical thing.
We are developing into a world where decisions are based on fear.
We have a friend who makes her 13yo daughter wear a pullup (read diaper) when they go out because she will not allow the girl to use public rest rooms. She has heard stories of women being assulted in them and this is her (over) reaction. And its not a force thing. The girl just goes with it. She and her mom both think it is a practical thing.
We are developing into a world where decisions are based on fear.
We have a friend who makes her 13yo daughter wear a pullup (read diaper) when they go out because she will not allow the girl to use public rest rooms. She has heard stories of women being assulted in them and this is her (over) reaction. And its not a force thing. The girl just goes with it. She and her mom both think it is a practical thing.
Double .
That 13yo is not going to be able to cope with life. I'm stunned.
Believe it or not, there were perverts and child molestors hanging out in public bathrooms in the 50's and 60's. The difference was parents gave kids the tools to avoid/deal with them. There was a park near my house when I was a kid that had a lot of problems with "activities" in the bathrooms. So our parents stopped taking us to that park.
Parents also taught kids things like screaming. If someone bothered you we had "permission" to yell our heads off. We also had "permission" to give the guy a good swift kick. (We were expected to.) We kids went to the bathroom in packs. If we were at the beach or a park with just a group of friends we went in with a buddy or three. Or four. We girls would get an older brother or friend to stand outside and wait for us. We were given tools so we could live our lives and not be riddled with fear.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 02-14-2011 at 12:21 PM..
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