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A perfect example why I would never marry a woman with non-adult children from another marriage. The woman will always love her children more than her new husband.
A perfect example why I would never marry a woman with non-adult children from another marriage. The woman will always love her children more than the new husband.
What makes you think the same won't happen when you have biological children with the woman you marry?
BTW, before we go all gloom and doom on the likelihood of this teen to end up hooking in the gutter as her likely future, remember that her mother was a teen mom who apparently "made it".
The OP said nothing to indicate that his wife "made it"? Nothing about if she has a good education, nothing about if she has a good job, only that she has two children.
In fact he states that they "get by financially but that's just it... " and that they can not afford to have a child of their own, even though they want to have a child together.
Perhaps, the wife has "made it" and is a well educated woman with a good job but maybe she "made it" by marrying the OP.
All we know from the OP is that his wife was a teen mom and her 16 year old daughter is now pregnant and probably going to be a teen mom, too.
The OP said nothing to indicate that his wife "made it"? Nothing about if she has a good education, nothing about if she has a good job, only that she has two children.
In fact he states that they "get by financially but that's just it... " and that they can not afford to have a child of their own, even though they want to have a child together.
Perhaps, the wife has "made it" and is a well educated woman with a good job but maybe she "made it" by marrying the OP.
All we know from the OP is that his wife was a teen mom and her 16 year old daughter is now pregnant and probably going to be a teen mom, too.
Did he not talk about how all of her kids are straight A students, her oldest is in college and living on his own?
Didn't he say she is looking into getting a home she can afford for her own kids without him?
If a woman can support her children, raise them to be good students, and get them off to college (especially the one she had while a teen) than yes, she "made it".
And lets be clear, education is great, but lots and lots of people live successful, responsible lives without a college degree, so even if she does not have a degree that does not mean she didn't "make it". And, as someone who was a parent while an undergrad, it is completely and utterly possible to get an education with a baby in tow.
This whole "your life is over, no ifs, ands, or buts" line feed to teens in order to convince them not to get pregnant is a lie that any of them can see through.
Having a baby while a teen, especially such a young teen, is a bad idea, it makes things very, very hard, but it is not the "apocalypse" the OP and many people on this thread pretend it is. Teens respond best, and make the most decisions, when given REAL, meaningful, information. Look at Jersey's daughter, things are going to be hard for her, hard for the whole family for a while, but not forever and at the end of the day she did not have an "apocalypse" occur because she was a teen and pregnant. What did happen was her life as teen was over, and she did go straight to boring adulthood. But melodrama should not be coming from the adults.
Did he not talk about how all of her kids are straight A students, her oldest is in college and living on his own?
Didn't he say she is looking into getting a home she can afford for her own kids without him?
If a woman can support her children, raise them to be good students, and get them off to college (especially the one she had while a teen) than yes, she "made it".
And lets be clear, education is great, but lots and lots of people live successful, responsible lives without a college degree, so even if she does not have a degree that does not mean she didn't "make it". And, as someone who was a parent while an undergrad, it is completely and utterly possible to get an education with a baby in tow.
This whole "your life is over, no ifs, ands, or buts" line feed to teens in order to convince them not to get pregnant is a lie that any of them can see through.
Having a baby while a teen, especially such a young teen, is a bad idea, it makes things very, very hard, but it is not the "apocalypse" the OP and many people on this thread pretend it is. Teens respond best, and make the most decisions, when given REAL, meaningful, information. Look at Jersey's daughter, things are going to be hard for her, hard for the whole family for a while, but not forever and at the end of the day she did not have an "apocalypse" occur because she was a teen and pregnant. What did happen was her life as teen was over, and she did go straight to boring adulthood. But melodrama should not be coming from the adults.
Good points.
Although the OP mentioned very few details about his wife, he did say that her three children were straight A honor roll students.
There is an enormous difference between a pregnant 19 year old high school graduate and a pregnant 16 year old high school junior.
The OP is reacting to this young girl's problem the same way a three year old reacts to being told he can't have ice cream.
This!^^^
As a parent himself, he should have already known to expect the unexpected when it comes to children! Should we all throw tantrums whenever one of our kids screws up? This may not be his biological child, but he's been in her life long enough to have developed some attachment to her. It doesn't say much for his character to claim his wife is his "best friend" and let on about how much he loves her, etc., but yet, so quickly, be willing to drop her like a bad habit at the first sign of trouble. Sounds as though his wife has seen his true colors and is making her way out.
She has two children---a daughter and a son. He has a son. There are three children total. Not four.
No, she has 3 children and he has 1. Four children between the two of them is correct. Although in the first post the OP does only mention a stepdaughter, one stepson, and then his own son...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sad-Dad
She has 2 boys and 1 girl that all where pretty much straight A honor roll students in magnet and technical schools.
Quote:
Her 2 oldest boys graduated school and the oldest has been living by himself continuing his education on his own. The second oldest lives with us as he just graduated school and has a part time job for the time being. I don't think any parent would ever think that their educated straight A student will come home pregnant at such a young age and that was our down fall.
The girl is 16. Her mother is responsible for her until she is 18. You can't kick her out. The girl may have made some bad decisions, but I don't like how you talk about her and I'm not even her mother. If I were her mother, I would be FURIOUS! And if you thought about MY daughter like that, I would choose my daughter and grandchild over you. Just sayin'.
You didn't just marry your wife. If she has minor kids, it was a package deal. If you weren't ready for that, you shouldn't have gotten married.
How about stepping up and being the father the girl never had? Maybe that's the reason she ended up in this situation. Maybe she needs to feel like somebody cares about her, instead of having somebody putting her down for getting pregnant.
I don't see this as much different from someone who enters a marriage with a prenup. If I followed the timing right, he had this "family" meeting about no pregnant teens BEFORE he married this woman. He set the ground rule and apparently his now wife agreed to it since she married him. It may sound harsh to some people, but that was one of the conditions that he used to marry her, apparently. He must had had an inkling at the time that this could happen and perhaps didn't make the best of choices in marrying this women if he thought it might be likely that one of her kids would become a teenage parent when he knew he wanted NOTHING to do with that.
Perhaps the step daughter doesn't like the OP and was perfectly happy to break the rules, doing nothing to prevent pregnancy in hopes he would go away.
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