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I hate to say it, but I was kinda thinking the same thing.
I dismissed a lot of really nice men when I was in my 20s because I "wasn't ready." Believe me, they are not in surplus once you're in your 30s. I would do anything to have that selection of kind, decent gentlemen at my disposal once again. They're all married now, leading perfectly happy lives. Love does not fit into a schedule. It happens when it happens, and either you embrace it or you pass it by and take a risk that you'll never have that same opportunity again.
You were gambling that you could do better than them when you were in your 20's - that's just the truth of the matter. Now you know better that that was a risky game of chicken/roulette. You sit at the card table too long and eventually the house will have it's way with you. Or at best you'll walk away with less than what you could have a few hands prior.
Not picking on you specifically...it's a common source of befuddlement for modern women playing the modern woman game. It's the height of female arrogance - believing they'll always be as desirable as they were at 24. I've got some hard reality to bring to the table: probably only about 50% the guys who were hoping you'd give them a chance when you were 24 will still be interested when you're 34. And guess which half is no longer interested 10 years later? The more successful/better quality/better catch half. They either already paired off or decided the traditional route was a sucker's game and have taken themselves off the table. (the Clooneys of the world.)
In between my gasps of laughter, and squinting between the tears of mirth in order to reply to this:
Now there's a word nobody uses anymore. You ever the House of Mirth by Edith Wharton? Great story if you haven't - and ironically very germane to this very conversation re: women and settling.
You were gambling that you could do better than them when you were in your 20's - that's just the truth of the matter. Now you know better that that was a risky game of chicken/roulette. You sit at the card table too long and eventually the house will have it's way with you. Or at best you'll walk away with less than what you could have a few hands prior.
Not picking on you specifically...it's a common source of befuddlement for modern women playing the modern woman game. It's the height of female arrogance - believing they'll always be as desirable as they were at 24. I've got some hard reality to bring to the table: probably only about 50% the guys who were hoping you'd give them a chance when you were 24 will still be interested when you're 34. And guess which half is no longer interested 10 years later? The more successful/better quality/better catch half. They either already paired off or decided the traditional route was a sucker's game and have taken themselves off the table. (the Clooneys of the world.)
You were gambling that you could do better than them when you were in your 20's - that's just the truth of the matter. Now you know better that that was a risky game of chicken/roulette. You sit at the card table too long and eventually the house will have it's way with you. Or at best you'll walk away with less than what you could have a few hands prior.
Anyone is a gamble. I did get married to someone who loved me and treated my wonderfully, and in fact, have been married for most of my adult life. For a while, the marriage was pure bliss! But, my ex-H acquired a really bad drug addiction -- addiction/abuse ran in his family like gangbusters. Because I do believe in taking my vows seriously, I worked with him for years to try to overcome it. I finally gave up, because it was breaking our bank account, and he started getting into trouble with the law.
Re-entered the dating world and discovered that my choices were much more limited. And the choices that were available? Whoa. I know this sounds torqued, but at times I wonder if maybe I should have just stayed married and toughed it out.
So it's not like exactly like I have been holding out for perfection. Some women are victims of circumstance, and I happened to be one of them.
Not picking on you specifically...it's a common source of befuddlement for modern women playing the modern woman game. It's the height of female arrogance - believing they'll always be as desirable as they were at 24. I've got some hard reality to bring to the table: probably only about 50% the guys who were hoping you'd give them a chance when you were 24 will still be interested when you're 34. And guess which half is no longer interested 10 years later? The more successful/better quality/better catch half. They either already paired off or decided the traditional route was a sucker's game and have taken themselves off the table. (the Clooneys of the world.)
I'm still not interested in anyone who I rejected 10 years ago, so I can live with my decisions.
You were gambling that you could do better than them when you were in your 20's - that's just the truth of the matter. Now you know better that that was a risky game of chicken/roulette. You sit at the card table too long and eventually the house will have it's way with you. Or at best you'll walk away with less than what you could have a few hands prior.
Not picking on you specifically...it's a common source of befuddlement for modern women playing the modern woman game. It's the height of female arrogance - believing they'll always be as desirable as they were at 24. I've got some hard reality to bring to the table: probably only about 50% the guys who were hoping you'd give them a chance when you were 24 will still be interested when you're 34. And guess which half is no longer interested 10 years later? The more successful/better quality/better catch half. They either already paired off or decided the traditional route was a sucker's game and have taken themselves off the table. (the Clooneys of the world.)
Poo on that.
I wasn't ready to settle down in my twenties, and for that reason I would have made a horrible wife, and probably would just have ended up another statistic adding to the divorce rate.
I got married at 35 because I wanted to and was ready.
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Not picking on you specifically...it's a common source of befuddlement for modern women playing the modern woman game. It's the height of female arrogance - believing they'll always be as desirable as they were at 24. I've got some hard reality to bring to the table: probably only about 50% the guys who were hoping you'd give them a chance when you were 24 will still be interested when you're 34. And guess which half is no longer interested 10 years later? The more successful/better quality/better catch half. They either already paired off or decided the traditional route was a sucker's game and have taken themselves off the table. (the Clooneys of the world.)
The "height of female arrogance." Now there's some major irony, right there.
I'm not sure why, UrbanAdventurer, you and some other men on these boards sound so angry and bitter. I just don't understand why y'all aren't enjoying what you consistently claim are the undeniable biological and social advantages of over-30 men. Since you all have "younger, hotter, tighter" women constantly "available" to you (), I'm assuming you've snagged those hot, young babes?
After all, according to some of you guys, you should all have an easy time of it. Apparently, older men are ALL are so irresistible - so incredibly handsome, fit, successful, intelligent, sexy, virile, energetic, open-minded, fun, etc - that young women should be falling all over you. You can then rest comfortably in the knowledge that your same-age female peers (yeah, those less successful/lower quality/worse catch halves), on the other hand, will simply fade into oblivion. Ya know, with all the other irrelevant, horribly unattractive, dried-up, old-hag, passed-her-shelf-life, dull, sexless, lifeless, revolting, repulsive women over the age of 30. Did I get that right - 30?
Given your biological and social superiority, all you guys railing against "modern women playing the modern women's game" should be far too blissfully happy and busy nailing your infatuated young babes to be bothered posting on these boards!
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 01-01-2014 at 04:44 PM..
I believe that it's much more difficult to find a quality person once a woman reaches a certain age. You know the old saying, "All of the good ones are taken"? It's true to a certain degree. Emotionally healthy people who are ready for a LT relationship or marriage typically pair up with like-minded others much earlier, leaving the pickings mighty slim. For women, it's usually freshly divorced men who are extremely needy/desperate/bitter; terminal Peter Pans; and men with such serious (unresolved) personal issues, it's no wonder that they're still single. Trust me, there are single 40-something guys who are totally unawares of their deal-breaking habits and behaviors, and I'm not talking about dumb resolvable stuff like smoking socially or being a little lax in the housekeeping department.
I went out with one guy who was clearly over-the-top OCD to the extent that it controlled his life. No one wants to sign on for that. And yet these people refuse to get help for themselves.
My friends always tell me that I'm a catch, and I am. But, they are also brutally honest. One of my oldest college pals -- a man -- recently told me that as long as he's known me, I've gone for men who look good "on paper" but who have low character. Obviously, I need to work on myself and find out what I'm doing wrong, why I don't feel like I deserve better, so I won't go through one heartbreak after another.
I don't think everyone good is gone. For example I know a lot of professionals both men and women who established a career and then started looking for a mate. Many were even in their 40's or so. However I do think a lot of older singles are less desirable.
The "height of female arrogance." Now there's some major irony, right there.
I'm not sure why, UrbanAdventurer, you and some other men on these boards sound so angry and bitter. I just don't understand why y'all aren't enjoying what you consistently claim are the undeniable biological and social advantages of over-30 men. Since you all have "younger, hotter, tighter" women constantly "available" to you (), I'm assuming you've snagged those hot, young babes?
After all, according to some of you guys, you should all have an easy time of it. Apparently, older men are ALL are so irresistible - so incredibly handsome, fit, successful, intelligent, sexy, virile, energetic, open-minded, fun, etc - that young women should be falling all over you. You can then rest comfortably in the knowledge that your same-age female peers (yeah, those less successful/lower quality/worse catch halves), on the other hand, will simply fade into oblivion. Ya know, with all the other irrelevant, horribly unattractive, dried-up, old-hag, passed-her-shelf-life, dull, sexless, lifeless, revolting, repulsive women over the age of 30. Did I get that right - 30?
Given your biological and social superiority, all you guys railing against "modern women playing the modern women's game" should be far too blissfully happy and busy nailing your infatuated young babes to be bothered posting on these boards!
Telling the truth does not make one bitter and/or angry. My girls hanging with her friends, I'm bored, this is entertaining.
What about her personality??? Her attitude?? Communication skills?? Was she high maintenance??? Did she have ties with ex boyfriends?? Is she extremely picky???
All of the things above play a big role in whether or not a woman will be found by THE BEST MAN for her life.
Looks and education are great but are not the deciding factor for THE BEST MEN who are looking to settle down.
Plenty of good looking educated women that will never be able to keep a man simply because of their crappy attitude, disinterest, or unresolved emotional baggage.
Don't know your friend, but like I said earlier GREAT WOMAN don't stay single. She needs to take a deep look inside.
I think her problem is she is picky. I'm picky in some respects like a man having kids (will not accept)or being divorced (only acceptable in certain instances)but she is pickier about things like education, income etc. She is a lawyer and makes great money (over $100,000)and I told her this will turn off some men. I also said she is at a disadvantage because she wants a highly paid professional like her and I told her most of these guys are not available or would be interested in her.
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), I'm assuming you've snagged those hot, young babes? 
