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You can improve your flirting somewhat with practice, but I believe there are aspects of flirting that cannot be taught, and are highly influenced by your unique innate core personality and your instincts.
The men and women who are good at flirting are naturals at it. But even then, stan4's post early in this thread is on the money.
OP, you are better off just being yourself, chilling out and not thinking too much about this stuff. That alone should noticeably help towards avoiding being creepy in general around women (although a few women may find you creepy no matter what). Just look presentable, engage in normal free-flowing conversations and learn the nuances on the fly. Your sense of humor - if you have one - will hopefully surface naturally...the skill is in refining/polishing that and gaining wisdom on when to be funny and around whom. Competent social skills (which includes recognizing when a woman is approachable in the first place, various nonverbal stuff, understanding intent, listening, not being too literal, picking up on nuance, bantering, etc.) are vital.
I think one's flirting has a pretty close relationship with one's sense of humor. My social skills aren't great, but nevertheless I seldom felt the need to put much thought into how to be humorous or how to flirt with some woman. Instead, those moments just sort of came, depending on the woman, the environment, the situation and each of our perceived moods. Sometimes it came off well; other times it came off a bit awkward...but that's not a big deal if you can let it roll off your back and maybe learn from it. More importantly, those moments usually spontaneously occured within the natural flow and context of the surrounding conversation.
Again OP, I think you're much better off being yourself...even if "being yourself" has the occasional stumble or awkward moment. Most people don't care if someone's a little awkward every now and then...but they're more likely to care (in a bad way) if that particular someone is unusually bothered over that. Over-focusing on trying to say and do things "just right" is going to do more harm than good...people with that mindset are often uptight and perhaps even boring in the eyes of some. There's significant positive value in "letting your hair down" from time to time.
Just behaving and socializing like a normal decent human being will go a long way towards being more attractive and likable...and largely avoiding the "creepy" vibe.
This video right here goes over the importance of teasing, because according to dating coaches, PUA's, if you don't tease a girl, as in, you have to sort of make fun of her in a playful way, a non-rude way, anyway, here are some tips from Dating Coaches, i would love some peoples feedback on this, is this truly crucial if you want to avoid being put in the friend-zone, you want to be seen as a potential boyfriend instead of just another friend?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgdPVinVphU How to Tease a Girl the Right Way - PostGradCasanova
Sense of humor is always good to have. Lighthearted teasing can be part of that. However, teasing can easily come off as a turn off. Anyone who has to watch a video on how to tease a girl probably shouldn't be teasing them.
The best sense of humor is probably self-depreciating humor.
This video right here goes over the importance of teasing, because according to dating coaches, PUA's, if you don't tease a girl, as in, you have to sort of make fun of her in a playful way, a non-rude way, anyway, here are some tips from Dating Coaches, i would love some peoples feedback on this, is this truly crucial if you want to avoid being put in the friend-zone, you want to be seen as a potential boyfriend instead of just another friend?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgdPVinVphU How to Tease a Girl the Right Way - PostGradCasanova
Have you ever actually talked to a live human woman? All of your posts seem like they're from an alien life form who's basing his knowledge of human interaction entirely on YouTube videos.
Have you ever actually talked to a live human woman? All of your posts seem like they're from an alien life form who's basing his knowledge of human interaction entirely on YouTube videos.
I have had conversations, interactions with women, but they are only friendly, platonic, basic small-talk, so you disagree with what those guys said in that video or article I posted?
I don't really think that there is a paint by the numbers approach to all things in life. Some of the 'softer' skills we have are just somewhat innate with people. It's like being funny. You can't really teach someone some of those skills, you can to a degree, but you have to have some basic instincts in that area.
Same goes with flirting or even just being witty or what they used to call "charming"
I have had conversations, interactions with women, but they are only friendly, platonic, basic small-talk, so you disagree with what those guys said in that video or article I posted?
Basically, don't try to be funny if you are not funny in most situations already.
These from the article are pretty stupid, as are most of the others:
“Are you hitting on me right now?
“I see what you’re trying to do. But I’m not that easy!”
“I saw you checking me out over there. I’m not a piece of meat you know.”
“Okay, we can go back to my place. But only if you promise not to try anything.”
“Oh, you’re a country girl? So what do you do when you’re not square dancing or listening to “Chicken Fried”?
“A Boston girl, huh? So you’re not familiar with the letter “r”?
If you really want to learn some skills in this area, start taking some improv classes. Also, hang around with the people that you meet in those classes. This will do you a thousand times better than following the suggestions of "dating coaches".
Have you ever actually talked to a live human woman? All of your posts seem like they're from an alien life form who's basing his knowledge of human interaction entirely on YouTube videos.
I laughed.
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