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Here is one example of positive flirting and one of negative flirting as I have recently experienced them.
(I am a woman.)
Whole Foods; wine department. A man comes up and stands close but not too close. I was looking at Chardonnays and he said that he had seen me there before. "Oh, it's you again; wine shopping". I didn't think this creepy at all and replied something like probably, because I purchase wine there regularly. I took it that he had noticed me before. He initiated a conversation about oak v butter v tropical styles. This then veered off to French White Burgundies.
I took him to be flirting just based on the chemistry between us. It didn't hurt that he was attractive and attracted to me. There was no touching and no teasing which would definitely not work with me. End result, we have had two lunches and several phone conversations.
One that didn't work: Trader Joe's, in the cheese section. A man with a cart passes me and said "how are you" and I likely replied "fine, and you?". Neither of us stopped still but he paused and said "Much better now that I have seen you!" (Exclamation point intentional.) OK maybe that does not count as a full flirt- I just kept on walking with my cart and that was that.
IMO- 80-90% of the male employees at TJ's flirt- I think it must be in their training manual.
Meh...
Subtlety is a man's best friend.
"TJ" is something I'd probably say to someone I knew, not to someone I have never met. You never know how anyone is going to take anything, LOL!
After reading all these posts it seems flirting is also a guy's role I guess. Anyways, I think these men did it right. Not too pushy or saying something disrespectful. You also had a nice attitude. There are women that can be in the same situations and they give the guy a frowny face, roll their eyes up, or just get angry.
Which is why a lot of guys are resistant to do something like that except maybe in typically socially acceptable places like a bar or club.
I'm purty handy with the ladies, but you probably don't have the time it takes to grow a mullet so I'll give you some other ideas.
First, think like a stalker. Don't be a stalker, but THINK like one. Where does she hang out when she's not working? What does she like to do when she is with her friends? Once you know this you can work at being at the same places doing the same kind of things (there is a limit to this, if she likes getting bikini waxes with her friends I wouldn't recommend it. It hurts like batsh1t and itches when it grows back, I felt like I had cuckle-burrs in my britches for at least 2 weeks...)
Once you accidently bump into her start up with "Hey, are ya going to the demolition derby Friday?" or some other refined activity that may appeal to the fairer sex. Some towns have fairs and events that are great for casual dates, we have Tater Day. Events like this with crowds of people are good places to get to know each other. I remember my first girlfriend ringing the bell with that big mallet, I still have the teddy bear she won for me... Oh, the good ole days...
Anyway, stop being such a gooch and get out there and try. Sitting on the computer asking for advise from strangers isn't gonna get the girl.
Here is one example of positive flirting and one of negative flirting as I have recently experienced them.
(I am a woman.)
Whole Foods; wine department. A man comes up and stands close but not too close. I was looking at Chardonnays and he said that he had seen me there before. "Oh, it's you again; wine shopping". I didn't think this creepy at all and replied something like probably, because I purchase wine there regularly. I took it that he had noticed me before. He initiated a conversation about oak v butter v tropical styles. This then veered off to French White Burgundies.
I took him to be flirting just based on the chemistry between us. It didn't hurt that he was attractive and attracted to me. There was no touching and no teasing which would definitely not work with me. End result, we have had two lunches and several phone conversations.
One that didn't work: Trader Joe's, in the cheese section. A man with a cart passes me and said "how are you" and I likely replied "fine, and you?". Neither of us stopped still but he paused and said "Much better now that I have seen you!" (Exclamation point intentional.) OK maybe that does not count as a full flirt- I just kept on walking with my cart and that was that.
IMO- 80-90% of the male employees at TJ's flirt- I think it must be in their training manual.
Did the first guy also happen to be better looking then the second guy you mentioned?
Which is why a lot of guys are resistant to do something like that except maybe in typically socially acceptable places like a bar or club.
Alternately, the guy could be grateful that he dodged a bullet. Better someone shows that they're a jerk right off the bat so he didn't waste much time or effort.
After reading all these posts it seems flirting is also a guy's role I guess. Anyways, I think these men did it right. Not too pushy or saying something disrespectful. You also had a nice attitude. There are women that can be in the same situations and they give the guy a frowny face, roll their eyes up, or just get angry.
I'm purty handy with the ladies, but you probably don't have the time it takes to grow a mullet so I'll give you some other ideas.
First, think like a stalker. Don't be a stalker, but THINK like one. Where does she hang out when she's not working? What does she like to do when she is with her friends? Once you know this you can work at being at the same places doing the same kind of things (there is a limit to this, if she likes getting bikini waxes with her friends I wouldn't recommend it. It hurts like batsh1t and itches when it grows back, I felt like I had cuckle-burrs in my britches for at least 2 weeks...)
Once you accidently bump into her start up with "Hey, are ya going to the demolition derby Friday?" or some other refined activity that may appeal to the fairer sex. Some towns have fairs and events that are great for casual dates, we have Tater Day. Events like this with crowds of people are good places to get to know each other. I remember my first girlfriend ringing the bell with that big mallet, I still have the teddy bear she won for me... Oh, the good ole days...
Anyway, stop being such a gooch and get out there and try. Sitting on the computer asking for advise from strangers isn't gonna get the girl.
I actually agree with him. If a man is nice to a woman and unthreatening towards her and she wants to be rude then she's not worth it. Men and women get once chance to make a good first impression and isn't wise to be a douche to someone who is nice. And before the ladies here attack me with pitchforks being nice doesn't mean sleep with him if you don't want to. Anyone who is rude to someone when they nice and gave them a compliment doesn't deserve one.
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