Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hassenpfeffer Incorporated? Those are the names! Hassenpfeffer and Incorporated are HER kids though, "$2 matinee n a happy meal, no Disneyland for you bastard's!"
More, validating that I am not being crazy.. I think the reality is that I jumped at the first bit of attention from an attractive woman after divorcing and didn't really think things through.
I think tonight is going to be a sit down and talk about how I think we need to at the very least live apart and date if we want but I don't want any part in supporting her. Honestly, I don't expect her to stick around and date me, but I will offer that as an option.
Part of me feels bad.. but every time we argue, It comes down to this so she has had more than a fair warning.
Keep in mind that most of the "advise" people give on this board tend to derive from a psychological desire to bash someone else. It doesn't appear we've derailed much from that. I can say easily over 50% easy of the advise on here is to simply leave the person your with. I guess problem solved. We'll all remain single.
As for another perspective, it can be difficult to meet attractive, single ladies as you get older. Maybe you don't want to throw her to the curb as many suggest here. It's probably good to talk to her, but I'd suggest talking to her like a concerned partner as opposed to a dad-like tone that get from your post.
If she truly is only with you for what she can get out of you, than this is not really even a relationship then. You'll only end up getting hurt in the end, and shed a lot more of your resources in the process. If that's the case let her disappear, as you indicate is a likely outcome.
If there is a chance for a long-term relationship, I certainly wouldn't be throwing it away.
Only you ultimately know the situation. OP what is both your ages if you don't mind me asking?
Keep in mind that most of the "advise" people give on this board tend to derive from a psychological desire to bash someone else. It doesn't appear we've derailed much from that. I can say easily over 50% easy of the advise on here is to simply leave the person your with. I guess problem solved. We'll all remain single.
As for another perspective, it can be difficult to meet attractive, single ladies as you get older. Maybe you don't want to throw her to the curb as many suggest here. It's probably good to talk to her, but I'd suggest talking to her like a concerned partner as opposed to a dad-like tone that get from your post.
If she truly is only with you for what she can get out of you, than this is not really even a relationship then. You'll only end up getting hurt in the end, and shed a lot more of your resources in the process. If that's the case let her disappear, as you indicate is a likely outcome.
If there is a chance for a long-term relationship, I certainly wouldn't be throwing it away.
Only you ultimately know the situation. OP what is both your ages if you don't mind me asking?
She is 26, I am 35.. and yes, I know how lonely and angry people are on relationship boards.
You met an unemployed, homeless, irresponsible cute little redhead with two mouths to feed (who are not supported by either parent), moved her into your (and your two children's) home and your life, and now you are coming to the forum to figure out what to do with your unemployed, homeless, irresponsible (but cute!) redhead with two unsupported mouths to feed.
This is rich.
Yup. But the OP clarified earlier that he wasn't really coming here to ask us how to fix it, so much as to get a perspective over whether he was being the bad guy in the picture; whether his gf was right, and he was wrong.
OP, you need to ship her back to her dad, and then spend some time getting over your divorce, so you can glue your self-esteem back together, and not be vulnerable to this type of mistake ever again. You need to learn to be alone and to enjoy solitude, while being a good, stable dad to your kids. And if you do want to continue dating her (not sure why you would, other than the "fringe benefits" ), don't escalate the involvement until she gets a job. Frankly, given her history, I wouldn't trust her to keep a job even if she had one; probably as soon as some sucker moves her in with him, she'd quit or orchestrate a firing. Don't be that sucker.
Also: you'll probably have better luck in the future with someone closer to your own age.
C-D readership: did you all notice she's almost 10 years younger than the OP? Apparently she's never had to support herself a day in her life; went from the family home, to marriage to the OP, did not pass "GO" to collect a paycheck nor, probably, an education to make herself employable.
Keep in mind that most of the "advise" people give on this board tend to derive from a psychological desire to bash someone else. It doesn't appear we've derailed much from that. I can say easily over 50% easy of the advise on here is to simply leave the person your with. I guess problem solved. We'll all remain single.
As for another perspective, it can be difficult to meet attractive, single ladies as you get older. Maybe you don't want to throw her to the curb as many suggest here. It's probably good to talk to her, but I'd suggest talking to her like a concerned partner as opposed to a dad-like tone that get from your post.
If she truly is only with you for what she can get out of you, than this is not really even a relationship then. You'll only end up getting hurt in the end, and shed a lot more of your resources in the process. If that's the case let her disappear, as you indicate is a likely outcome.
If there is a chance for a long-term relationship, I certainly wouldn't be throwing it away.
Only you ultimately know the situation. OP what is both your ages if you don't mind me asking?
Actually, I'm very happily single. I have many friends with wonderful relationships that I am literally in awe of, but I know full well that it's not for me because I like being on my own and am not terribly into compromise. Thus my FWB situation - he shows up, we have a wonderful time, and then he goes away and we don't concern ourselves with each other until our next encounter.
What mystifies me is when people get trapped in relationships with leeches like the OP's girlfriend out of a fear of being alone or never getting laid again. Is a meh relationship really adding that much to one's happiness? Why are so many people so afraid of being alone that they will sacrifice happiness and financial wellbeing? I know what a good relationship looks like and what it should do for a person, and I don't think anyone should settle for something less. I've watched several loved ones learn that lesson the hard way - their terrible relationships tainted everything in their lives and it's only now that they're free of them that they're developing real and functional relationships and developing overall happiness. Two of my favorite cousins got themselves out of terrible relationships and it turned their lives around - they are incredibly happy now and working on building functional and rewarding relationships with good people.
So yeah, when someone's in a less-than-uplifting relationship, my advice is to bail, work on yourself and then meet someone if you want to after you've achieved the necessary emotional intelligence. CRAZY, I know, right?
Personality wise, we mesh pretty well.. and she's a pretty cute lil red head
I am really just SO shocked. (Sarcastically speaking)
Please.
Make the world stop spinning so I can get off it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
), don't escalate the involvement until she gets a job. Frankly, given her history, I wouldn't trust her to keep a job even if she had one; probably as soon as some sucker moves her in with him, she'd quit or orchestrate a firing. Don't be that sucker.
