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I know lots of women who don't want kids. That's not uncommon. I think your other wants will be more difficult. MOST people, male or female are looking for a life partner. A person to share their life with. Living together, married or not, is usually a direct result of that desire.
It's going to be difficult to find someone who is just willing to be a now and then lover. Whenever it's convenient for you. And you expect this person to be monogamous and not pursue other relationships. You are saying you don't have much to give but you want to be treated just the same as a partner in a committed LTR. You want the benefits but you don't want to do the work. What you are describing is a FWB type relationship but there usually is no promise of fidelity.
I agree with the others who said part of the problem is age. Usually women interested in that type of relationship are older and have no desire to do the wife thing again. But still few of those women will be willing to give you the kind of commitment you desire. They will also seek other partners.
what do you mean by now and then?, the way I see it, we would spend weekends together, take trips together, spend days at a time together at any given time we both decide to. we just would not live together full time. this would not be a situation in which we see each other once or twice a month. because I don't want kids, marriage or co-habitation I don't want to put in work?. there is more to a relationship I would think than those three things.
I think your 30's are going to be kind of sad, unless you are fine with relationships lasting about 6 months. There may be a unicorn out there who will accept or want this kind of relationship, but I have never met a women in her 20's or 30's who wanted this long term.
In your 40's and beyond I think you will have more luck, if you are dating close to your age. The biological clock would have stopped ticking and women who had children young will be finished raising children. They will be established and maybe a little stuck in their ways, so marriage and even cohabitation might not have the same appeal.
Best of luck to you.
they will be sad potentially in terms of my love life, but overall i think they will be fun. funny you say 6 months, the girl i previously dated we lasted about 6 months (ended for other reasons not related to no marriage, kids or co-habitation). I know it will be very hard and I have prepared myself mentally already, that i may never meet someone. thanks for the well wishes
btw, if I were reading an online dating profile and someone said they wanted an unconventional relationship, that would intrigue me enough to keep reading to see what they meant by that. I might not want what they describe, but your profile may at least get read more!
I think your 30's are going to be kind of sad, unless you are fine with relationships lasting about 6 months. There may be a unicorn out there who will accept or want this kind of relationship, but I have never met a women in her 20's or 30's who wanted this long term.
I'm worried about the same thing for myself. Starting in 2015, dating/relationships stopped being fun and became a source of fear. So knowing that it'll be that way for another 7 years isn't exactly comforting. With that said, I enjoy being friends with women my age, but dating is definitely out of the question. I'm planning to focus on dating women 40+ for the foreseeable future.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 03-21-2017 at 02:19 PM..
Being in a relationship requires having common goals. Your goals are only about you. You can't have it both ways, so good luck.
ah okay, thank you for clarifying. but in my situation wouldn't me and the girl establish we feel the same about those topics before we started anything, therefore we would have the same goals? and what do you mean by both ways?.
I'm worried about the same thing for myself. Starting in 2015, dating/relationships stopped being fun and became a source of fear. So knowing that it'll be that way for another 7 years isn't exactly comforting. With that said, I enjoy being friends with women my age, but dating is definitely out of the question. I'm planning to focus on dating women 40+ for the foreseeable future.
I am with you there, I have plenty of lady friends who tell me all the time "you are such a great guy" and "you will make some girl very happy one day" my problem is its going to take a very specific type of woman. for the meantime I will just keep living my life and see what happens, and keep my eyes open for any opportunities that may come my way. older woman is something I am not opposed to if the right situation comes along.
I am with you there, I have plenty of lady friends who tell me all the time "you are such a great guy" and "you will make some girl very happy one day" my problem is its going to take a very specific type of woman. for the meantime I will just keep living my life and see what happens, and keep my eyes open for any opportunities that may come my way. older woman is something I am not opposed to if the right situation comes along.
Ironically, the women "lucky to have you" they're referring to are the very "biological clock tickers" you said you want to avoid. Especially considering that it's after they got partying out of their systems, and now gravitate to stable, reliable men like yourself, albeit for the wrong reasons. There's a controversial school of thought on all this; it rhymes with "Bread Bill" . I don't fully agree with it, because it's very hyperbolic, but eh.
What's the deal with everyone's obsession with "commitment"? Seriously, I want to know.
People who value committed relationships are naturally going to gravitate toward others who share that value. Not sure that qualifies as an obsession...or that it applies to "everyone."
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. I don't fully agree with it, because it's very hyperbolic, but eh.
