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I must be far older than you. I am guessing you are early high school. The idea of "bases" is something I have not heard of since then. Ohhh I touched her breast! How exciting! Titter titter. Giggle giggle.
Right???
In the immortal words of Elaine Benes on Seinfeld:
"I'd watch the third base coach if I were you 'cause I don't think he's waving you in."
I agree with Meta: No magic number; up to the two people involved to decide.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 8 days ago)
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This article appears to be written Cosmopolitan magazine style, with little substance.
It completely lost me with the opening sentence:
There was a time when sex rarely, if ever, preceded a marriage, let alone a relationship. But it's 2019 and that's just not the way the world works anymore. (Le sigh.)
I wonder what time frame the author is imagining this? I think it's likely that teenagers married as virgins - an 18 year old girl and a 20 year old guy might have - but after that, no. It's true that no women except prostitutes (and they have always been plentiful) would willingly have sex with a man she didn't consider herself to be in a relationship with, but premarital sex has always been common. People just didn't announce it so vulgarly, and girls who had sex with several men indiscriminately were shamed - but the men or boys knew who they were (and so did the girls) and went to them for easy sex.
I wonder what the author would have thought of Ogden Nash's line, in 1931, "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker" meant? It meant, that a man "courting" a woman could get favors with candy, but more successfully by getting her drunk.
My wife and I met when we worked at the same restaurant. The first time she put a ticket on the wheel, I fell head over heels in love. We made out right after work, had sex a day or two later, lived together for a year and were married exactly one year after we met. That was 1976 and she's sitting right beside me as I write this. Our relationship may not be by the books, but it works for us.
From personal experience, every situation is different.
I have been in relationships where we waited for many months before becoming intimate, yet after intimacy, it soon faded and we broke up. So waiting is no guarantee.
But I do get the notion behind it. This is why you see so many celebrity couples break up so quickly. Their relationship was based on nothing more than physical sparks, and once that was over there was nothing else of any real substance behind the coupling.
Good point, everyone is different. I had a situation where I was intimate with a woman I was dating, make-out sessions and so on. She wasn't ready to sleep together, which was fine, but I found it kind of odd that she was prudish when it came to me talking innuendo with her. Usually if you're in the make-out stage of a relationship, heavy petting, etc. Very passionate, just outside the clothes kind of stuff...you'd think a woman would be open to talking a little naughty. We've been out plenty of times. A few of those times were at her place.
The next woman, claimed she has a libido of a 25 year old man...and she was 50. When I told her about the previous relationship she was like "Pshhh,...what a prude!"
I wonder what time frame the author is imagining this? I think it's likely that teenagers married as virgins - an 18 year old girl and a 20 year old guy might have - but after that, no. It's true that no women except prostitutes (and they have always been plentiful) would willingly have sex with a man she didn't consider herself to be in a relationship with, but premarital sex has always been common. People just didn't announce it so vulgarly, and girls who had sex with several men indiscriminately were shamed - but the men or boys knew who they were (and so did the girls) and went to them for easy sex.
Maybe, but my older relatives (and former in-laws) all said that was why they got married so young ... because they were tired of waiting to have sex.
I must be far older than you. I am guessing you are early high school. The idea of "bases" is something I have not heard of since then. Ohhh I touched her breast! How exciting! Titter titter. Giggle giggle.
Mid-40s, actually. I don't think high school kids say that any more.
And my post was meant somewhat in jest, but there is a sound principle behind it. 5 dates is sufficient time to weed out the ones who are just looking for a hook-up, and you should know after 5 dates whether the person you are seeing is someone you can see yourself in a long-term relationship with. If they are, there is no reason to put off escalating to a sexual relationship. If they are not, there is no reason to continue seeing them.
Many men walk if they don't get sex on the first date. That is fact and reality.
The problem with that type is they think they're 'getting' sex as some sort of commodity for themselves, instead of it being a close and personal shared connection between two people who are attracted to each other.
Probably the same guys who lament they don't get second dates.
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