Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I cannot believe parents as such...and at that point in time, those children would have all been swatted on the butt, by me, and sat in a chair and told to stay there...and they would be taught to whisper, by me, and anything else would be unacceptable behavior...
There is a couple of things here.
1) You don't know how this mother disciplines her kids.
a) What type of discipline does she use?
b) Does she use discipline?
c) Is she consistent?
d) Does she do it in public?
Even among parents that spank, some would opt to do such things AT HOME, not in public. There are many reasons for that.
2) Fear of reprisals from being reported to ACS.
3) The desire to not embarrass the kid in a public context.
I'm not saying #3 is the way to go, but some people do parent that way.
The most important factor in this response to your mother, is that YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA, how this mother parents on a regular basis. WHY DO YOU ASSUME it must be no spanking. As a kid that got spanked, I never got spanked in public. That was something that was done at home, with a belt or a paddle.
Well behaved kids, are kid that have consistent parenting and consistent consequences. And that doesn't necessarily mean corporal punishment. You can't blame lack of corporal punishment on it, especially since you really are just speculating.
Quote:
therefore, being a christain and reading christain materials has nothing to do with a follow through program on raising kids.
Of course it doesn't. However, a lot of people will bring up quotes from the bible, and therefore, it is relevent.
Quote:
It is a constant work in progress and good parenting skills does not include allowing kids to have fun as such in a doctors office....that kind of behavior is reserved for outside, on a playground, or back yard, but not in a public place....
It depends on what the fun is, and how it infringes on others. I wouldn't make a blanket statement like that.
Quote:
I repeat, should not be allowed to roam free inside....regardless if it is a store, dentist, or doctors office.
Do you know how that sounds? That sounds like the old people who used to yell out the window at 4pm in the middle of the week because the kids were laughing and playing in the street.
I think a kid should be free as long as their freedom does not infringe upon others. I don't think locking them down is going to teach them how to respect the rights of others.
Quote:
Parents today, do not seem aware of the fact, that there are other people who need to not worry about noisy kids running around who are going to trip them, or push them....period. That is lazy parenting, as well as no regard what so ever for the personal space of others.
I see plenty of adults who behave the same way. What do you say about them?
I've been in stores where I had to bend down to look at items at the lowest shelf, only to have adults step on my hand. I've been bumped into with shopping carts. My favorite, is people just stopping dead in the aisle, while they leisurely browse it, without any clue that there is someone standing directly behind them waiting to get through. (Ever heard of parking your cart so others can pass?) So I think you have some sort of thing against children, who are generally a lot more harmless since they don't weigh as much and they take up a lot less space.
How about when you are in a parking lot and you signal because you want to take a space that someone is exiting, only to have another person come in and take it, even though you were there first?
The world is abundant with rude people, and most of them, the vast majority of them, are adults who get highly offended when someone acts JUST LIKE THEM.
Quote:
Again, should spanking be outlawed...absolutely not...and the government should certainly not enforce a law as such, but what they should do, is enforce the laws already on the books regarding child abuse, and improve that system.
I cant see that spanking a child is anymore the business of someone than the parents, I always used it on mine...but if you voted for someone who tells us what to do with your children before they are born (abortion) then you will probably vote for the same person to tell you how to discipline them...
In my entire lifetime, I've seen very few people ever spank their kids in public. When a parent spanks a kid in public, it says more about the parent than it does the kid.
In my entire lifetime, I've seen very few people ever spank their kids in public. When a parent spanks a kid in public, it says more about the parent than it does the kid.
Exactly.
That's where pro-spanking argument falls short. You cannot blame the way kids misbehave today on no-spanking, since no-one really knows whether or not this kid is being spanked or even being beaten behind the closed doors.
I went to see a movie today
clearly, before the movie starts, it asks for everyone to please turn off their cell phones
There were two mothers there....each one seperate with their children, and both were on their cell phones.
When a parent does something like that, in front of their kids...boy oh boy, does that send the wrong message to the child. And how dare they think that they are above any rules and disrupt everyone else in the theater, who paid to enjoy a movie....what it takes is for the whole theater to really yell at them. Not to mention, I can guarentee, their children will grow up believing they are above any rules or the law. Another mother had her young baby in a stroller, and the child cried, and she didn't get up and walk out so as not to disrupt everyone else....I just cannot believe the concept of people today...????? Is it any wonder that kids do not respect the privet space of anyone else, when their parents act like that?
Rules are rules...and yes, I spanked my child once in a grocery store...so, I guess I'm a God awful person.
Everytime we went to the grocery store, he would yell and scream if I didn't allow him to have what he wanted....and he acted worse, cause he didn't think I would tell him no in public....another words he was testing me, and he did this often...so I warned him twice, and the 3rd time I said, "What did I just say? I am not going to tell you no again" and he continued to scream and act up...therefore, I pulled him out of the cart, put him on the floor, and swated him twice on the behind, which was padded with a diaper. He never acted up in the store, and as a matter of fact...and older woman said to me at the check out counter...."I saw what you did, that had to take a lot of courage and I just shook my head yes, cuz I didn't want my son to pick up on the conversation....she said, "Bully for you" your a good parent to be so extremely tuned in on your son, and not allowing him to upset everyone else in the store. I smiled and said, "Thank you very much".
So the spanking was a last resort, and I had contimplated what to do in this situation for a long time before I did it. I had read that the child will test.
I did the best I could possibly do at the time, as a young mother, and always tried to do, what was right for my son...
so, if I am a horrible person, for spanking my son 3 times in his life, then so be it...I never beat him, and surely didn't spank him out of anger....so, yes, I suppose you all can tell exactly what kind of parent I am b/c I spanked my child in public.
I do not advocate the theory that kids who are not spanked will turn out really bad people/criminals....? I can't say that they will...matter of fact, I had a friend, his wife and I were best friends....they had 3 of their own children and adopted on little baby girl. They were the best parents...and now and then, they spanked to...not hard, and to tell you the truth, his bark was much worse then his bite..he spanked rarely but never threatened what he couldn't follow through with. He asked me once...."how can four children come from the same family and one, turns out bad" His one son, sadly, did drugs...and when his mother died, he tried to commit suicide?" Yes, he was so loved...and this, has happened to many families.
Again...logically I suggest that those who are against spanking stop for one moment please and understand those that do, are not child abusers...nor, did we spank our children once a week, once a month, not even once a year. And to boot, we surely didn't apply pain, and leave bruses....we all do the best we can....and the majority of the people who spank are not child abusers....they're just people, like you, who try to do the best they can....
and I say again....with all my heart and soul...I am a pretty fair human being who tried to raise her son, to the best of my ability, and as most young mom's do...I also read books, lots and lots of books on parenting, and then derived my own methods...wrong or right, no one can say, even though I did spank my son a few times while he was growing up...am I sorry? No!
Do I believe the government should get involved in this...absolutely not...again...what the government should do, is get more involved with our child welfare systems, because they are failing, but, that is a different thread...
Again...logically I suggest that those who are against spanking stop for one moment please and understand those that do, are not child abusers...nor, did we spank our children once a week, once a month, not even once a year. And to boot, we surely didn't apply pain, and leave bruses....we all do the best we can....and the majority of the people who spank are not child abusers....they're just people, like you, who try to do the best they can....
Here I agree with you. Not for a second I think that spankers are some horrible people who are child abusers. Although I'm completely against spanking, I emphasize with parents who have a hard time with children and spanked.
What I'm against is ADVOCATING spanking as if it's the right thing to do. I think that spanking is universally a wrong thing to do, but sometimes parents just lack patience and creativity to discipline their children in any other way.
So if that's the only way they know how to put their children in the place, I think I can only say: sorry.
However, I will repeat myself: I know that majority of parents do the best they can with the resources that they have.
Here I agree with you. Not for a second I think that spankers are some horrible people who are child abusers. Although I'm completely against spanking, I emphasize with parents who have a hard time with children and spanked.
What I'm against is ADVOCATING spanking as if it's the right thing to do. I think that spanking is universally a wrong thing to do, but sometimes parents just lack patience and creativity to discipline their children in any other way.
So if that's the only way they know how to put their children in the place, I think I can only say: sorry.
However, I will repeat myself: I know that majority of parents do the best they can with the resources that they have.
well, then we agree to disagree...but in my book it doesn't make you a bad person either, it is simply what you believe...
and thank you for being as understanding about the subject as you are...I believe we all tend, when trying to argue our points sometimes, taking things way to the other end of the spectrum and become illogical at times....and that is what I've tried to explain all the way thru this thread....
Here I agree with you. Not for a second I think that spankers are some horrible people who are child abusers. Although I'm completely against spanking, I emphasize with parents who have a hard time with children and spanked.
What I'm against is ADVOCATING spanking as if it's the right thing to do. I think that spanking is universally a wrong thing to do, but sometimes parents just lack patience and creativity to discipline their children in any other way.
So if that's the only way they know how to put their children in the place, I think I can only say: sorry.
However, I will repeat myself: I know that majority of parents do the best they can with the resources that they have.
You hit a 15 year old, and you are risking them hitting your right back. Even if you believe in spanking, it is inappropriate to "spank" a person who is old enough to reproduce.
I would most definitely spank or get physical with a 15 year old. Imagine having a 15 year old tell you "F... off" or seriously disrespect you in some way to see what you're going to do about it -- and you simply stand there in shock or tell them something they already know "Darling sonny boy -- that wasn't nice". If a child absolutely does not respect you -- then no -- he will hit you back. If that child has been brought up with some fear of pushing you past your limits -- then no -- he will not hit you back.
Parents fearing their own kids is a serious problem. If a parent has let things go -- and then decides to take control at age 15 -- yes it's already too late.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
