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I think Mt-7 means doing things for a good man, the one who is worthy, (the one a woman dreams to meet) - not those exes who were not.
A good observation was expressed by someone in the middle of this thread, but didn't get properly noticed -- after a certain age, let's say after 50sh, a priority change happens. A sea change. The formerly boisterous "I can survive" gets down to #2. The #1 becomes companionship. Not with bad men, again, but even the middle-of-the-road men (humans) start being valued just for being humans primarily, - as opposed for their ability to clean up. It becomes not as important. The mortality sets in.
Wow, this just keeps going on.
Can I get a little respect for the "wifey work"?
I actually love to cook and bake and iron and clean.
I do all of the housework currently, but that is because plaiddad works hard at a FT job that pays well enough so that I don't really have to work (I work very PT). I even mow the lawn.
To be honest I'd much much rather work around my own house than work for someone else. I get to make my own schedule this way.
If I ever go back to work FT we will split the chores or hire help.
Ah, ah, ah... You are lumping all women in together and assuming the same women are posting in both threads the way you say they are.
They aren't
Go see those threads, you'll see what I mean. I just find it interesting how women reacted to that thread and now this one. I do agree with you and other women who are upset about housechores being expected from women. It's a bit sexist. I find it as bad and sexist for women to expect men to treat them better (chivalry), pay for their stuff, etc. I guess you and I can agree that both men and women should contribute to housechores, expenses, romance, initiative, etc. since day #1, cool .
Quote:
Until one is an established couple, whoever asks for the date, pays
To be honest I'd much much rather work around my own house than work for someone else. I get to make my own schedule this way.
Exaaaactly. Staying at home is way better. You work under your own schedule, fix a snack whenever you feel like it, call your friends for a chat, take breaks whenever, nobody is looking over your shoulder, etc.
I used to be a city "I can't change a tire" girl... Well, we have a division of labor now: He cuts the trees, I split the wood. He builds the frame of a house, I board in. He lowers cement crocks into a well, I guide them inside the well hole. He has back pain whole winter, and sits around. I cook and clean. In spring, he fixes cars, I dig the garden. I go away to attend school (to learn car collision repairs to help him), he is the stay at home parent looking after 2 small kids. It's give and take, give and take, the constant dance of well oiled relationship machine.
I find it interesting how in this thread women are upset about men not doing housechores, men expecting them to be in the kitchen, etc. Yet, in another thread, the same women are demanding men to pay for their drinks, dinners, etc. because that is what a real man should do for a woman or there won't be a second date.
Oh for crying out loud. Very few women said a man must pay for a date or a drink. A DATE mind you, when you dont live together, when you dont know each other is not even remotely close to a married couple and sharing domestic duties. Paying for a first date is not in the same ballfield as years of taking on all domestic chores while working FT while an SO does little or nothing. Get over it already and have a drink on me.
Did her husband leave her? B/c regardless of being married or not, she's still going to have to cook, clean, and work on top of that right? It was the best move I made but I enjoy cooking a great deal - cleaning not so much b/c well, who does? BUT I still do it b/c I have to. I also work FT - but if she's just sitting on her ass all day, I would probably expect her to cook and clean. She's not helping out any other way and that's what a marriage is, right? A partnership?
Exaaaactly. Staying at home is way better. You work under your own schedule, fix a snack whenever you feel like it, call your friends for a chat, take breaks whenever, nobody is looking over your shoulder, etc.
Are you a woman who stays at home and raises children?
You know how I feel about this topic. I have 2 grown sons and believe me they cook and clean. Not always to my standards, but still. They both have girlfriends now and we are all together on weekends and do alot of cooking. Some of the posters would probably have a stroke seeing my sons cooking for the women. One of the girlfriends was telling me how my son would not let her help cook or wash dishes. I have no problem with her helping me tho.
Elitist tangent: I have friends from all walks of life, but I've found that in hetero couples where at least one person is highly educated (advanced degrees), the man does a lot of the cooking. In fact, at any dinner party I've been to, the men are in the kitchen and the women are in the living room drinking wine. It could be because I lived most of my adult life in a ridiculously educated area (D.C.) that I see that as the norm, and the whole "little women in the kitchen while the men loosen their belts in the living room" thing seems passe to me.
Even my wasband became a foodie toward the end of the marriage. Why? Because as TKramer said, if he didn't do it, it didn't get done. I found that not "enabling" forced him to start taking on more of the responsibilities, and as his friends were all foodies, he got into cooking. One year we hosted Thanksgiving for friends--they were from different places and couldn't go home--the guys did all the cooking. When everyone left, the wasband and I cleaned up.
The problem was that if I cooked or cleaned, he'd fall right back into his habit of letting me do it all, and I got tired of having to sink to his passive-aggressive level and simply stop doing them altogether again. As I was also paying the bills, oh, hell no.
Well I can too (except combine, I don't know what that is)
Run a combine, maybe? You know, one of those big, corn-reaping machines?
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