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This may sound silly; but I would love to know exactly why(it is so important)??
Attraction is not based solely (or even mainly) on looks. Attraction is based on a number of factors, many of which are intangible. The best feedback I've ever heard regarding what attracts women to men was 'the experience that she has when she's with you.' I like that b/c it encompasses all factors.
Whoever this person is, she has decided she does not like you in the romantic sense. What you need to realize is that it doesn't mean you're a bad guy or a failure, it just means she doesn't want a relationship with you. In all likelihood, there's nothing you can or could have done to change this, be it being more charming, building a better physique, dressing better, etc. If she were asked why she doesn't like you, she'd probably say 'because I don't.'
Relationships are based on emotion, feeling and a lot of loosely defined factors. Over time, you'll deny women who are interested in you; they may be nice people, but you won't feel the connection.
NOONE is worth this kind of mental anguish. You're basically destroying your life thinking about this person. If you're talking about her this often on these forums, then you're thinking about her 24/7. Focus on being the best you can be and then place more emphasis on relationship. You're years away from the point where a relationship is a major focus on your life.
In all likelihood, there's nothing you can or could have done to change this, be it being more charming, building a better physique, dressing better, etc. If she were asked why she doesn't like you, she'd probably say 'because I don't.'
.
This leaves me at a loss. Her inability to articulate her exact reasons for her adamant dislike of me, leaves me with few ideas as to how I should work on improvement of myself as a person. I know that she does not like my appearance; so that should be my first area of improvement
If she would simply share additional details of what she wants in a man, perhaps I could work towards acquiring some of those qualities as well. However it is doubtful, she would be willing to share that with me or anyone besides close friends.
Why are you doing this all day on a Saturday? Since you started this thread, I've been to work, the grocery, watched a movie with my family, shopped with my kid and ate lunch.
Why aren't you at work or hanging out with other high-school seniors?
So my looks permanently exclude me from anything but a platonic relationship with her?
Except she doesn't have any interest in a platonic relationship with you either. So you can't blame this all on attraction. You've been obsessing over a girl you have no relationship with whatsoever for years. She is obviously aware of the obsession and is staying away from you, because your behavior is disturbing.
You ignore everything that conflicts with your agenda. Relationships, even platonic ones, can never work when one person's desires override all else. You don't love her. You love the IDEA of her.
This leaves me at a loss. Her inability to articulate her exact reasons for her adamant dislike of me, leaves me with few ideas as to how I should work on improvement of myself as a person. I know that she does not like my appearance; so that should be my first area of improvement
If she would simply share additional details of what she wants in a man, perhaps I could work towards acquiring some of those qualities as well. However it is doubtful, she would be willing to share that with me or anyone besides close friends.
Why don't you just go up to her and ask her? This is the woman you supposedly want to spend the rest of your life with. If you can't talk to her, then you have a big problem. Relationships are built on communication and you have not even tried to communicate with her apart from staring at her. Perhaps if you did not have this fantasy built up in your head, you would have an easier time. As of right now it just seems like you want something you can't have.
However, you must stop blaming her for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. You make your own choices. Nobody can make them for you. You can't place the blame where it doesn't belong. It's not her problem. If she doesn't want you, you are choosing to be unhappy and to be single the rest of your life. That is your own fault. The fact that you blame her for this shows your immaturity and perhaps you are not mature enough for a real relationship at this time.
Certain events have led me to believe that one of the major reasons for my rejection by the young lady I am interested in is due to my appearance. I do not consider myself hideous, however I know am nothing extraordinary in the looks department. Apparently, my appearance is not satisfactory by this girl’s standards.
My question for you today is this: Do you believe it is possible for someone to eventually come to accept another for a relationship regardless of an appearance issue. Could they ever possibly see beyond the outside appearance of a person, and come to know the qualities/traits which truly define their character?
I previously posted that I believed this type of judgment to be grossly unfair. After much debate with others on this forum, I have come to recognize that it is not possible to minimize the issue, because apparently appearance IS very important.
I am curious to see what you think.Please share your thoughts and opinions regarding this question
Moving on and; "getting over it" is not the solution. That will not make me happy. The only thing that will make me truly happy, is if I achieve my goal.
Maybe you are not meant to have a "solution" or "achieve your goals"
Everyone is going to have to make some compromises with your life.
All you can do is move on. If someone is not into you, move on to the next. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Seriously, consider this and consider it now. This sounds like the beginning of stalking. We don't want it to get to that.
Why are you doing this all day on a Saturday? Since you started this thread, I've been to work, the grocery, watched a movie with my family, shopped with my kid and ate lunch.
Why aren't you at work or hanging out with other high-school seniors?
While, I consider it impolite for others (strangers) to ask personal questions about my daily schedule I can tell you this;
I got up early to take care of school work, and have stayed near the computer while working. In fact most of my HW today has been online. Schools seem to want to go all digital; two of my classes require that I utilize the computer for assignment completion.
So to answer your question; I have been making use of my time for academic purposes while taking a break to see the progress of the thread from time to time.
Now; back on topic.
Last edited by Jay Watson; 04-27-2013 at 03:24 PM..
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