Why Is Dating So Much Easier for Women than Men? (picture, European)
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Women still find it easier to date and pick up prospective partners until around 30ish.
I'd up that until about 40 or so for women. I've known of instances of women pushing 50 with multiple children under 18 living at home (seemingly a not in-demand demographic) having sex with multiple men simultaneously for extended periods of time, plus having male friends on the side who are stuck in the friend zone wanting to have sex with her. I think this is more of an outlier than reality, but often times you'd be surprised at the prospects women can have later in life.
There's a concept of a "wall" for women, where her advantage. You say the "wall" is around 30ish. Generally speaking, the "wall" is softer than any of us really think. I'd say that women still hold the upper hand until around 40, but who really knows for sure?
And that's part of the problem. These guys who "can't get a date" only want the women who are in that top 20% to 30%. They don't actually want to get to KNOW a woman as a complex human being, or have a relationship where they become close to someone. They want a thing.
Now these men are probably surrounded by many women who are attractive enough but maybe not stunning. They might be goodhearted, kind, women with talent and intelligence he knows nothing about because he really has no interest in what type of person a woman actually is. He is looking for a thing that can boost his ego when other men see what he's got, like a fancy car.
I've never seen one of these poor, dateless men come on here and say, "Why can't I find a woman who wants to go to the State History Museum with me or a woman who likes to read <insert author name> or who likes to explore Cajun cooking or play chess or go to the shooting range..." Instead we hear how the poor slob simply can't get laid or the women at the bar won't give him the time of day. There doesn't seem to be much depth to any of these guys in the first place. They have no hobbies, no interests, nothing that indicates they have something in their life to share with a woman who might be looking for a man who has the same interests as they do.
Yes and not only this, it amazes me that it is never addressed how, despite what is going on with anyone's looks or personality, ultimately many can have real problems. It is personality flaws and emotional issues that will interfere with relationships forming or lasting. That is the bottom line. It won't matter if one is great looking or not. I find it ridiculous that the focus has increasingly become this superficial aspect - in order for a guy to be motivated to hump, based upon something visual. Apparently, men are animals...women are objects. "Uggh.. me man, you.. toy".
I am very experienced with dating and relationships, but being older now, I would doubtfully be considered. I've got to say though, I never generally see attractive men in my age range, anyway. And as you say, what do they have to offer? (I will notice younger, cute guys, but of course, all I do is observe, unlike men who apparently think they deserve and have expectations of being with young females).
I believe relationships can develop under circumstances that allow for familiarity, when an attraction can grow while regularly observing traits and communicating with another, that may otherwise have not occurred.
I'd up that until about 40 or so for women. I've known of instances of women pushing 50 with multiple children under 18 living at home (seemingly a not in-demand demographic) having sex with multiple men simultaneously for extended periods of time, plus having male friends on the side who are stuck in the friend zone wanting to have sex with her. I think this is more of an outlier than reality, but often times you'd be surprised at the prospects women can have later in life.
There's a concept of a "wall" for women, where her advantage. You say the "wall" is around 30ish. Generally speaking, the "wall" is softer than any of us really think. I'd say that women still hold the upper hand until around 40, but who really knows for sure?
I agree, I have met them, have a friend who is 36 with two kids who looks like Miranda Kerr and has an amazing figure to boot. Kids or no kids, guys are beating down a path to her door. Her Tinder action is the same as girls who are 10 years younger.
But like you said they are outliers and she is careful about what she eats (veg, fresh food and no sugar) and trains pretty much everyday.
She also went out all the time, spending pretty much every weekend in bars and clubs, with her childless friends (her parents were very accommodating).
Btw, I just drew an arbitrary line in the sand as 30 seemed about right for the majority of women.
Why is it SO HARD for some of you guys to accept that women do not control every aspect of dating and relationships? This is just beyond ridiculous to me. Do you really think that no woman has ever been dumped before or had some guy ghost on her? It happens ALL THE TIME.
Ok, so lets just say the majority then. I do think the woman controls the majority of dating and relationships, particularly if she is considered attractive. I know attractive is subjective, but you know what I mean. Attractive women have nearly all the power.
That's what all the whiner guys here say. The guys who get to know women first, and then say she got more attractive as he discovered her wicked sense of humor, brains, expertise with cars or tech or whatever, etc., are the smart ones, and the ones who end up happy instead of miserable.
They'res a middle ground in between going after the office hottie or a women you find physically very unappealing.
It wouldn't be fair to her or myself if I tried being with a women who I was unattracted to physically..Her being cool wouldn't make me magically attracted to her..somebody of the opposite sex you like as a person but aren't attracted to is why you have friends.
You also seem to be assuming that the good looking women will be a bad partner and the average or unattractive women will automatically be a great person who's easy to deal with..
No, it's OK if you are blunt, but you are wrong about me having other options. I thought that was pretty clear. I didn't choose him over any other men because there were no other men, short or tall, who expressed interest in me. He was fun. He had a decent job when we met. I suddenly for the first time in my life had a real boyfriend who actually said he loved me--I was 23 years old and no man had ever said that to me before, so of course I was thrilled, and his friends welcomed me into their circle. Would a shorter man who didn't drink have won out over him? Maybe, maybe not, but I will never know because I never had that choice. No shorter man ever came along and looked at me and said, "Gee, I'd like to date her."
I was an easy mark for someone like my ex because I had no self-esteem and I had little experience dating anyone to know what a better relationship was supposed to be like. If someone had given me a chance along the way, I might have gone in a different direction.
And of course, it was real life, so it wasn't that simple and I didn't go into the relationship aware that I was marrying an alcoholic. I did not know about alcoholism in my early 20s, because my own parents didn't drink. I met him in a bar because I DID drink...but I always knew that it was temporary and some day party time would end. It couldn't ever end for him. I thought we would be together forever. I was wrong. Forever was sixteen years.
Did you have your "available lights" on? When I see those lights flashing, me and my testosterone slip it into gear.
I've gotten to know everybody at my job pretty well and I observe everyone pretty closely. It's unbelievable how easy dating is for the women at my job, not one of them particularly decent looking
There is one girl, a blonde who is probably 40 lbs overweight with just horrible looking acne. She is a nice person so I can't say anything bad about her character but her intelligence is highly questionable, makes no money because she has no idea what she's doing. She has a tall good looking white boy friend - she was being pursued hard by another decent looking tall white guy with a pretty good job. Another one of my co workers is a very average looking single mom, chain smoker, very annoying voice, very average figure. She's playing 4-5 dudes at a time, getting dates constantly and being asked out constantly. I think she's sleeping with 3 different guys right now. It just blows my mind
The male equivalent of this just doesn't exist. There are no big guys with horrible acne dating good looking tall white women. Has it always been like this? It seems like dating is getting more and more lopsided - male 9s have to settle for female 6s, female 3's think they should be getting male 8s. Why is this?
I can kill myself to have a nice looking physique, a perfect complexion, a legit college degree, a 180K a year job, the latest in fashionable outfits, etc... etc... etc... and not have 1/10th the dating options as a girl who is like a 3/10 with zero accomplishments whatsoever.
I'm not so sure dating is easier for women than men. If you mean, because many men have to put in the work more then ok. But I don't think dating is easy for anybody anymore. More woman have casual sex much more often now and don't need a relationship for that. Which is good. Men might be intimidated by that scenario. I think the computer has made it hard for all people because "attention spans" are short in this day and age. Too much texting etc. I'm old school. If I meet someone I like, I would never text them. If a girl wanted to text me, I would probably lose interest if that was her main form of communication. I like the old fashion "talking on the phone."
Ok, so lets just say the majority then. I do think the woman controls the majority of dating and relationships, particularly if she is considered attractive. I know attractive is subjective, but you know what I mean. Attractive women have nearly all the power.
I don't usually say much about women having more power than men, they do initially, in my opinion, but in terms of actually finding lasting relationships, I think that the struggle between the sexes is a lot closer.
That being said, I think if a woman is really attractive, has a decent to ok job, and is childfree at say late 20's to early 30-ish, she's definitely holding more cards than a man. I know that when I was single in my early 20's I found it harder and harder to meet women, especially outside of a college environment that didn't already have kids and I'm not a child hater, but it's just a lifestyle that I didn't want. I actually went out and had a girlfriend that had a 3 yrs old and it sucked azz, especially when you're young, you wanna do stuff young people do and do them on the spur, not be shackled down with limits and dealing with sitters and all of that mess.
most women in their late 30s, 40s and 50s can be fairly reasonable in their dating demands - primarily because it's the only time where dating isn't unbelievably one sided. Hell I get more attention from women around your age than my own age.
Women in their 20s are asking for the moon because they're getting hit on by every guy who is 18 to 80.
They'res a middle ground in between going after the office hottie or a women you find physically very unappealing.
It wouldn't be fair to her or myself if I tried being with a women who I was unattracted to physically..Her being cool wouldn't make me magically attracted to her..somebody of the opposite sex you like as a person but aren't attracted to is why you have friends.
You also seem to be assuming that the good looking women will be a bad partner and the average or unattractive women will automatically be a great person who's easy to deal with..
No, I didn't say that. But some guys do discover that the average Jane they didn't notice at first suddenly became date-worthy, even marriage-worthy, after they discovered her great qualities. It happens.
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