Why Is Dating So Much Easier for Women than Men? (friendship, boys)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
Reputation: 41381
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by In2itive_1
Okay, but this is one of the problems keeping some from having involvements.
I have a question for the men - what happens if you are spending time with a woman you find physically attractive, only to discover that she possesses personality traits that are bothersome - are you still turned on? Or do you care, being that sex is what matters? I mean, what if she turns out to be selfish, doesn't listen, can't communicate, is juvenile, doesn't know how to prepare a meal, has an odd laugh, talks about her old boyfriends, is late, doesn't appreciate you, lies, doesn't share your interests, is bad with money or is even not that great in bed?
You'd do the same thing you would do to the ugly girl.....not date them.
I don't think I'm asking the world for a woman who is BOTH a decent person and I have SOME sexual attraction to.
I think a better observation would be that women have to do less to no work in the early stages of the relationship. Men are the ones that usually approach a woman, ask her out, plan the date, pay for the date, etc. This might be changing a bit but I believe is still largely true. All woman has to do is decide if she wants to go on a date and then get dressed and show up. If you compare that with what a man has to do, the difference is stark. And somehow the feminists are not complaining about the inequality here...
You make it sound as though saying "would you like to go to the pumpkin festival with me Saturday" is some great exhausting burden and as if you have to pick her up and drive as opposed to meeting her there is such a chore. Really guys, is it that taxing on you? You know a lot of people actually enjoy the chase, even the planning of events and if your smart your planning of events won't exceed your budget.
I think the hardest work in dating is mental for both parties. You are hoping you hit it off, that you dont feel awkward, say or do something stupid. That the other person doesnt turn out a total dud. You are worried about if he does or doesnt put the moves on you, you worry about if you should or shouldnt put the moves on her, etc. etc. Its more a commonality than a stark difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
I hope in the next few generations, the dating in the US will evolve so that both men and woman have more equivalent roles in all stages of dating. I belive that in a number of European countries, women are more open about approaching men and usually split dating costs. In my opinion, that will benefit both men and women.
Well, you got your wish. Dating has and is changing. Maybe not fast enough for you but keep in mind for ever it was taboo for a woman to approach a man. She was marked as being forward to being a harlot.
You want to see change come about faster. So when the playing field is more level will you fellows be ready for your teenage daughters to be asking guys out and picking them up for dates, being responsible for getting them home on time and being the instigators of sex. And will you accept your sons and grandchildren taking the female surname, that it will be your wives and daughters name that will be known and past to future generations? Just curious as somehow the chauvinists (for lack of word) are not complaining about the inequity here.................
Okay, but this is one of the problems keeping some from having involvements.
I have a question for the men - what happens if you are spending time with a woman you find physically attractive, only to discover that she possesses personality traits that are bothersome - are you still turned on? Or do you care, being that sex is what matters? I mean, what if she turns out to be selfish, doesn't listen, can't communicate, is juvenile, doesn't know how to prepare a meal, has an odd laugh, talks about her old boyfriends, is late, doesn't appreciate you, lies, doesn't share your interests, is bad with money or is even not that great in bed?
No of course not just because i want some physical attraction doesn't mean I will put up with anything just to have a women im attracted to.
I don't understand why women are allowed to have such stringent standards yet a man says i want a women I like who I'm also somewhat physically attracted to and women act like he's asking for the sun moon and stars..
I don't understand why women are allowed to have such stringent standards yet a man says i want a women I like who I'm also somewhat physically attracted to and women act like he's asking for the sun moon and stars..
I don't know that anyone thinks that, it's more that some guys seem to be saying that if a woman doesn't give him a boner at first sight she's not even worth talking to.
You want to see change come about faster. So when the playing field is more level will you fellows be ready for your teenage daughters to be asking guys out and picking them up for dates, being responsible for getting them home on time and being the instigators of sex. And will you accept your sons and grandchildren taking the female surname, that it will be your wives and daughters name that will be known and past to future generations? Just curious as somehow the chauvinists (for lack of word) are not complaining about the inequity here.................
This is a very interesting question.
I've always said I like traditional dating and traditional relationships... I'm fairly conservative when it comes to love and relationships. So I think I am pretty consistent. I take the "sacrifices for the man" at the payoff of "the sacrifices for the woman."
I wonder how many guys here who whine all the time that they want women to act more like men, that they want it easier for men, etc are really willing to see it through to the natural conclusion... or are the shortsighted to the point they just want everything to be easier "now" for them all around out of laziness with no regard for where it all leads? What kind of marriage they would have. What kind of home life? DO they want an nontraditional woman in courtship who suddenly turns into Susie homemaker? I find it ironic (and somewhat baffling) that the same posters here that rail against feminists and the liberals argue want the goals of "that side" to come to fruition--they are very inconsistent and not focused. They don't think about where their demands and desires lead.
I have no problem with people with different opinions than mine. People who have a different outlook and stick to it. I might not agree with them, but I can admire them for their conviction and intelligence. What I can't tolerate are these unfocused, "What I want right now so things are easier for me" types who have the focus and consistency of children who want what they want now, without any regard to anything else.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
I don't know that anyone thinks that, it's more that some guys seem to be saying that if a woman doesn't give him a boner at first sight she's not even worth talking to.
By biology, men are physical creatures. We are gonna wanna see something we like about a woman on the outside before we pursue her for romantic purposes. It is what it is.
I wonder how many guys here who whine all the time that they want women to act more like men, that they want it easier for men, etc are really willing to see it through to the natural conclusion... or are the shortsighted to the point they just want everything to be easier "now" for them all around out of laziness with no regard for where it all leads? What kind of marriage they would have. What kind of home life? DO they want an nontraditional woman in courtship who suddenly turns into Susie homemaker?
I see guys who complain about it like you said as well as women who complain about guys who don't pay for their expenses, don't pursue them, etc. because that is how traditions should remain, yet, they get married and complain about house chores and how sexist traditions can be. Some people only want the traditions that benefit them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DefiantNJ
I think a better observation would be that women have to do less to no work in the early stages of the relationship. Men are the ones that usually approach a woman, ask her out, plan the date, pay for the date, etc. This might be changing a bit but I believe is still largely true. All woman has to do is decide if she wants to go on a date and then get dressed and show up. If you compare that with what a man has to do, the difference is stark. And somehow the feminists are not complaining about the inequality here...
I hope in the next few generations, the dating in the US will evolve so that both men and woman have more equivalent roles in all stages of dating. I belive that in a number of European countries, women are more open about approaching men and usually split dating costs. In my opinion, that will benefit both men and women.
Not only European countries but when I lived in Japan and when I get to travel around Asia I also see girls being more open to approaching men, paying on a date (even in a first date regardless of who asked who or gender! ), romancing their man, taking initiative, etc. When I lived in the USA it was a bit different. I did enjoy dating but cultural difference was there, it was alright.
I've always said I like traditional dating and traditional relationships... I'm fairly conservative when it comes to love and relationships. So I think I am pretty consistent. I take the "sacrifices for the man" at the payoff of "the sacrifices for the woman."
I wonder how many guys here who whine all the time that they want women to act more like men, that they want it easier for men, etc are really willing to see it through to the natural conclusion... or are the shortsighted to the point they just want everything to be easier "now" for them all around out of laziness with no regard for where it all leads? What kind of marriage they would have. What kind of home life? DO they want an nontraditional woman in courtship who suddenly turns into Susie homemaker? I find it ironic (and somewhat baffling) that the same posters here that rail against feminists and the liberals argue want the goals of "that side" to come to fruition--they are very inconsistent and not focused. They don't think about where their demands and desires lead.
I have no problem with people with different opinions than mine. People who have a different outlook and stick to it. I might not agree with them, but I can admire them for their conviction and intelligence. What I can't tolerate are these unfocused, "What I want right now so things are easier for me" types who have the focus and consistency of children who want what they want now, without any regard to anything else.
Thats what I see from posters who complain about how unfair dating is and want that playing field leveled. I've yet to have one of them answer the questions concerning the how that playing field is to look beyond the dating game. Are they still on board to equalize the field and throw out those gender biases when it comes to marriage and family rearing traditions. Are they able to look forward and see their daughters become their sons and their sons become their daughters?
Okay, but this is one of the problems keeping some from having involvements.
I have a question for the men - what happens if you are spending time with a woman you find physically attractive, only to discover that she possesses personality traits that are bothersome - are you still turned on? Or do you care, being that sex is what matters? I mean, what if she turns out to be selfish, doesn't listen, can't communicate, is juvenile, doesn't know how to prepare a meal, has an odd laugh, talks about her old boyfriends, is late, doesn't appreciate you, lies, doesn't share your interests, is bad with money or is even not that great in bed?
The odd laugh I can handle, the other things, not so much.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
), romancing their man, taking initiative, etc. When I lived in the USA it was a bit different. I did enjoy dating but cultural difference was there, it was alright.
