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It wasn't abusive, he just didn't want to talk about the future or marriage or anything serious for probably 5 years and never wanted me To bring it up . That's not abusive, just to say he knows himself and that it'll take longer for him to propose if I keep bringing up/asking about future
I agree, I'm not sure who abuses who now after reading 18 pages.
I kept saying "I just need an approx time frame, just wondering what you see for your life" and then he ends up saying 5 years. I said "oh I'm surprised, didn't realize it'd be that long" and he claimed it was previously shorter, but then he lengthened it because me wanting to talk about the future ticked him off. So the more I wanted to discuss our future, instead of just "trusting him to do it whenever the time is right," he said the longer he'd take to propose. I don't understand
Actually, I'm guessing he works at a daycare center.
That whole "We were GOING to do X but now that you bothered Mommy/Daddy, we're not/it will be later" thing is very popular when dealing with toddlers. Or anyone else who is emotionally helpless and who must let someone in control make all his/her decisions for him/her, OR ELSE.
So, either he's a daycare worker or he has 10 unclaimed kids hanging around somewhere with their mothers going, "Shhhhhhh! Daddy said he MIGHT buy you a pair of shoes if you don't ask him."
LOL, JerZ, so true. At the time I Thought his statement seemed odd
Or like a "punishment." After all, he said it during one of the first times I ever brought up the futur- not like I'd been nagging him for weeks or anything!
My generic relationship advice:
-Be excellent to each other. Really. Read this sentence. BE. EXCELLENT. TO. EACH. OTHER.
-Love hard. If you choose to love - do it all the way.
-Be honest - Truth is the most important thing you can have between you.
If it does not work AFTER steps 1-3,
Move along, don't dawdle., Nothing to see here.
I just want my boyfriend back.should I ask for how long he'd prefer I'd leave him alone, then Say something about how I know him well and realize he wasn't about to say "I love you" back and if he feels the need to back off then that's totally fine, I'll give him his space? Is this the advice Just a Guy was trying to give?
I just want my boyfriend back.should I ask for how long he'd prefer I'd leave him alone, then Say something about how I know him well and realize he wasn't about to say "I love you" back and if he feels the need to back off then that's totally fine, I'll give him his space? Is this the advice Just a Guy was trying to give?
Yes. You should definitely get into his personal space just to let him know that you'll be giving him space.
In fact, you should call him daily to remind him that you will give him space.
Listen he says he warned me if I kept bringing up future or marriage he'd dump me. So now I need to figure out how to convince him in changed. That's what I'm asking for advice on
You could convince him you have changed my letting him read this entire thread. Best advice you can get. Will throw this in for free, you sound totally off and dangerous and if hes smart he should run while he can.
Last edited by luv my dayton; 11-29-2015 at 07:47 AM..
I just want my boyfriend back.should I ask for how long he'd prefer I'd leave him alone, then Say something about how I know him well and realize he wasn't about to say "I love you" back and if he feels the need to back off then that's totally fine, I'll give him his space? Is this the advice Just a Guy was trying to give?
Yes, because if you love someone and want them back, you definitely have to be either trolling or "dangerous."
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