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Looking is for free, admiring a sexy woman is healthy for most men, touching aint right and is illegal, saying anything other than "Hey beautiful, you look fine and sexy" is pushing it.
Looking is for free, admiring a sexy woman is healthy for most men, touching aint right and is illegal, saying anything other than "Hey beautiful, you look fine and sexy" is pushing it.
A very long thread and I haven't got the chance to read all of the posts. But as long time New Yorker, I'd like to say in general, men in NY are more aggressive, true, they don't waste time to beat around bush if they think you're attractive. Personally it never really bothered me, so some of the days I might find those cat calls or stares annoying and wish them get the f*ck out of my sight.
But it's really easy to tune them out, wear sunglasses for one, have your ipod on pretending you can't hear a guy when he tries to pick you up, avoid making eye contacts when you are not in the mood or just simply, politely say "thank you" then walk away when some dudes look like they're about to melt. (but ten years I have been living here I can tell you those guys do that to just about everyone, I find it amusing that in a city with thousands of enormously diversified attractive women like NY, some girls really think they got picked up because they stand out---no, men are men, most men who would do that sort of things on the street pretty much don't care. They do it because it's fun, they do it because they're bored.)
NY is a city where you gotta be a bit thick-skinned and easygoing to get around. Thick-skinned because you can't take everything personally, it's not always about YOU; easygoing because it's a very tough city, the path and the rythym are fast and cutthroat so it's better to go along than sit there and feel hurt. Ten years I have been here I've learned to see those dudes on the street/subways as just a set, most of them are harmless. Protect yourself, carry yourself well, be polite but firm, be alerted but sometimes a simple "oh thank you" while walking fast past them are probably the easiest and the most no-nonsense way to deal with it.
Why does this only happen in New York? I know NYC is a walking city but this doesn't happen anywhere near as much in London or Paris. There seems to be a lot of perverts in NYC.
I don't know, I used to live in Paris for years, quite frankly it was worse than NY. Guys flashed up in front of girls in the subway station, guys jerking up in front of you on the subway car (when there were other passengers around no less)---I believe perverts are everywhere, big cities or small towns. It's just in huge cities like Paris and NY they tend to be more brazen and obvious because they know they can get away with it easier because of the crowd.
And no, perverts are perverts, they don't just come in specifically a pack of the same ethnic background. Don't look down on those hungry Hispanic working class men just because they might look short, sleazy and horny, the biggest perverts that go on internet kiddie porns for years or **** around with their step-daughters could be that seemingly preppy, "upscale" looking WASPY lawyer of yours or your college Political Science professor who came from East Coast old money. Behind any facade there are men who respect women and men who don't. Just because someone wears head to toe Brookes Brothers doesn't mean he's any less a pervert than those guys hanging around at Bodegas.
Also, go to specific neighborhoods in Manhattan such as Nolita and Soho, most likely you see more beautiful women in one square foot. Madison avenue or near Central Park/5th avenue you see more well-dressed, trendy women, but in general I do think there are a lot of attractive, at least nicely packaged ladies in NYC. Not saying the West Coast look is less than the NYC style, but personally I prefer the diversity and the more cultured spectrum of NY, a bit Euro-centric but that's fine by me. IN GENERAL, the West Coast look is a tad too wholesome, perfect teeth, too tanned, too perky, too blond and too Vanna White to my liking.
Are you wearing clothes that show skin? Well duh, what do you expect? For men to just turn off their sexual radar because YOU don't want attention?
If you're not in business, don't advertise. Duh!
Okay, first of all, no I do not show skin. I dress actually very conservatively - more about comfort actually, than sexiness and style.
Second of all, your response reminds me of the WAY outdated mentality that if I woman is raped and was wearing provocative clothing, she was asking for it! What you're saying is a perfect parallel to that ignorant way of thinking. Only the assault we're discussing in this thread happens to be verbal and not physical.
Looking is for free, admiring a sexy woman is healthy for most men, touching aint right and is illegal, saying anything other than "Hey beautiful, you look fine and sexy" is pushing it.
I have to disagree. Saying "Hey beautiful, you look fine and sexy" is NOT right. I can't speak for every woman out there, but i know for a lot of us, that kind of comment is NOT WELCOME. And looking/leering is not welcome either - in fact it can be WORSE than words.
All of this behavior boils down to objectifying women. WHY is it that I can't just go to the grocery store or walk to the gym, minding my own business, and just be left alone to go about my day? It is not fair and it is not right.
I have to disagree. Saying "Hey beautiful, you look fine and sexy" is NOT right. I can't speak for every woman out there, but i know for a lot of us, that kind of comment is NOT WELCOME. And looking/leering is not welcome either - in fact it can be WORSE than words.
All of this behavior boils down to objectifying women. WHY is it that I can't just go to the grocery store or walk to the gym, minding my own business, and just be left alone to go about my day? It is not fair and it is not right.
How is that objectifying..? It's called a compliment; it depends on the intonation and the way it's said if it's good or not. I see men complimenting women in a perfectly civilized way in the streets all the time, and they don't look bothered at all.. in fact, it looks like they enjoy it.
How is that objectifying..? It's called a compliment; it depends on the intonation and the way it's said if it's good or not. I see men complimenting women in a perfectly civilized way in the streets all the time, and they don't look bothered at all.. in fact, it looks like they enjoy it.
Apparently the poster referenced by analyticalkeys is is not typical of the average woman. Reality check for her: normal women have been looked at, appreciated, complimented by normal men throughout history and it will continue forever. One's disgust with vulgarity and unwanted touching must not be confused with normal phyical attraction between men and women.
If I saw someone with her perspective on the train and knew the way she thinks, she could look like Angelina Jolie but I woudn't give her the time of day.
How is that objectifying..? It's called a compliment; it depends on the intonation and the way it's said if it's good or not. I see men complimenting women in a perfectly civilized way in the streets all the time, and they don't look bothered at all.. in fact, it looks like they enjoy it.
True, sometimes it can be nice. I was reacting to your quote of "hey beautiful, you look fine and sexy." My reaction to those specific words is "ew."
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did you really say that?
