My father wants a paternity test after 30 years, my mother doesn't know what to do (male, guilty)
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I'm not condoning him in every way but I've to say something when people here are suggesting he's a potential pedophile. He never touched me or my brothers with a finger besides beatings.
My nephews are 4, 3 and 1 year old.
I didn't say or suggest he was a pedophile. Please re-read Point 3 from my post:
Quote:
3) He's building up his defense force. If all hell breaks loose, those kids could turn against you -- everything from pestering you about him to becoming outright malicious in the name of "protecting" their poor old grandfather who everyone is turning against.... I think there is subtle manipulation going on there. I don't think it's porn or anything like what one poster said -- you hadn't even alluded to anything like that. I do think, though, that he's trying to build himself up in the grandkids' eyes as the most important person in their lives, which could wreak havoc on your attempts to fight back if he should act out again.
I specifically said I didn't think he was doing that.
Depending on what type of doctor he is, it may be absolutely, 100% totally illegal for him to have an affair with a patient even if the patient is an "adult". For example, a psychiatrist who had sex with a patient would lose his license so fast that it would be a blur (because the law considers that any patient would have been coerced or manipulated into having sex).
Now, a foot doctor or oral surgeon I really don't know what would happen. There probably would be rules that the woman had stopped being his patient for a certain number of months or years before the AMA would find that behavior "acceptable".
There was a thread a month or so ago about whether or not an adult child would allow their children to see the grandfather if he was openly having an affair with a mistress. Some poster saw nothing wrong with it but other posters would forbid the grandfather from having any contact whatsoever with his grandchildren.
Good luck to you and your family. with your father being that big a jerk, creep, b*******, you need all the luck that you can get.
There was a dentist in this state who was discovered to have had relations with a sedated patient. The further investigation showed it was a pattern and worse of all he had hepatitus B and was HIV positive. Not only did he lose his liscence and go to jail, but the state has free testing for any former patient, male or female, since there could be blood contact.
The jail was for the sexual abuse. This is considered a betrayal of trust for a doctor of any kind to take advantage of a patient.
If it was me, I would keep my kids away from dad since he's a user and eventually things will turn ugly.
No my business of course but I would say the last time they slept together was 9 months before I was born. So the disease thing as never been a problem.
I would hope he would at least test himself periodically for blood/sexually transmitted disease as a doctor who could effect his patients. If he's going to play those games he should at least be realistic of the risk.
In any jurisdiction I'm familiar with, half the income and assets acquired since they were married is legally hers. In some locales, half of anything he had before marriage also is. The assumption is that they are one unit, economically, and that any income he had was helped by her support at home.
I really think she should hire someone to look for hidden assets. At the very least, run a credit report on him, find out if there are any debts she does not know about. So many women get stuck with 50% of big bills they didn't know existed, run up while he was cheating.
I would hope he would at least test himself periodically for blood/sexually transmitted disease as a doctor who could effect his patients. If he's going to play those games he should at least be realistic of the risk.
That's expecting a lot from someone who is clearly selfish.
If it was me, I would keep my kids away from dad since he's a user and eventually things will turn ugly.
I actually agree with this. This 'man' has proven that he's a miserable excuse for a human being and I don't want my kids mixing with miserable excuses for human beings.
I also agree that there is some addiction here and addictions seem to be progressive by their very nature.
However I disagree with the person who recommended marriage counseling. First of all, the time for that (if ever) was decades ago and second, I have personal experience with marriage counselors who (adamantly) did not believe that lying and cheating were important matters worthy of attention. And most can't recognize (or care about) sexual addictions right in front of them.
I do think the mother should get a personal therapist and/or divorce attorney. Probably both.
But I also agree that it's her life to live however she wants.
I'm not condoning him in every way but I've to say something when people here are suggesting he's a potential pedophile. He never touched me or my brothers with a finger besides beatings.
My nephews are 4, 3 and 1 year old.
I don't have children, my brothers do. I highly doubt he would ever do such a thing. He's scared of my brothers and I. He knows we are not little boys anymore and can face him at the same level.
Besides, he never did such a thing when we were kids ourselves.
I'm sorry, but if any girl child or even your wives is around my father and he was like yours...well, first of all I wouldn't be in contact with him at all, and I would have zero respect for my mother. But that aside, I would be watching him like a hawk.
He is a sexual deviant, and he doesn't play with you or your brothers or your nephews because you are males.
In the words of Antoine Dodson: hide your kids, hide your wife!
I'm not condoning him in every way but I've to say something when people here are suggesting he's a potential pedophile. He never touched me or my brothers with a finger besides beatings.
My nephews are 4, 3 and 1 year old.
I don't have children, my brothers do. I highly doubt he would ever do such a thing. He's scared of my brothers and I. He knows we are not little boys anymore and can face him at the same level.
Besides, he never did such a thing when we were kids ourselves.
I brought up the notion of protecting your kids from a sex maniac--and I used the term "sex maniac."
He never touched you or your brothers. Do any of you have daughters? Because his very apparent objectification of women can transfer onto them, not necessarily when they are children, but when they are adolescents and develop women's bodies.
But beyond that, do you really want your children exposed to his way of thinking and learning about male-female relationships from him? Children pick up a lot from their parents and grandparents. The way he talks about women, the things he says when they walk by on the street, the way he talks about your mom, maybe even the way he talks about your wife--just potentially sexist and derogatory commentary--will teach them a lot.
I would hope he would at least test himself periodically for blood/sexually transmitted disease as a doctor who could effect his patients. If he's going to play those games he should at least be realistic of the risk.
I doubt he gets tested. But he probably should, guys from his generation are no exactly the biggest fans of condoms.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
I brought up the notion of protecting your kids from a sex maniac--and I used the term "sex maniac."
He never touched you or your brothers. Do any of you have daughters? Because his very apparent objectification of women can transfer onto them, not necessarily when they are children, but when they are adolescents and develop women's bodies.
But beyond that, do you really want your children exposed to his way of thinking and learning about male-female relationships from him? Children pick up a lot from their parents and grandparents. The way he talks about women, the things he says when they walk by on the street, the way he talks about your mom, maybe even the way he talks about your wife--just potentially sexist and derogatory commentary--will teach them a lot.
I know he's a bastard but the idea that he might be a pedophile is too disturbing. Good or bad, I grew up with him around and the notion he might entertain that kind of thoughts is disgusting. No, we are all boys and my brothers only have sons as well.
Besides his grandchildren he never seemed much interested in children at all. I won't have children so it won't be a problem to me but I'll try to speak to my brothers about it. My sisters-in-law are not the greatest admirers of my father as you can imagine.
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There is an old saying ...
Moma's baby ... Daddy's maybe.
Take the test and then there will be no doubt ! ! !
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Good Lord, I just read this entire thread.
Because you're not a GIRL
