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No, they really rejected me. And we went on more than a few dates. This WASN'T a cold approach and they said no immediately scenario.
ok so you went out with five women, and on multiple dates, and they decided they didnt want to go out with you anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
What did you talk about on the dates? And how did you feel about them? Were you feeling a connection with all 5?
these are good questions. what did you talk about on the date? when the women were talking did you at least seem interested in what they had to say? when you were talking did the girls seem bored with what you had to say? for instance when the girls talked about their doll collection from when they were a kid, did you get a glazed over look on your eyes?
did you talk about something they didnt like? for instance most women dont want to hear about your take on the nascar race over the weekend.
you had enough of their interest to get them to date you, its on the dates that you fan the spark and hopefully turn it into a raging inferno. and you do this by being attentive to her, and respecting her. for instance if she makes a comment about a particular restaurant after your first date, ask her if she wants to go there next time, and if she says yes, then ask her when is good for her.
also note anything she says about something she really likes, and for the next date bring a small token along those lines. it doesnt have to be anything big or expensive, just something that shows her you were thinking about her and what she likes. for instance on girl i dated loved pigs, so every chance i got, i found a little pig for her to put on her nick knack shelf. another girl i dated wanted to buy a birthday present for someone, so i took her to the mall to various stores, and i made suggestions, some serious, some comical(to keep the mood light), and i noted her reactions to things. the next date we had, i gave her a stuffed flower that she liked.
another girl i dated wanted to buy a birthday present for someone, so i took her to the mall to various stores, and i made suggestions, some serious, some comical(to keep the mood light), and i noted her reactions to things. the next date we had, i gave her a stuffed flower that she liked.
Wow! This is so smooth! Most guys don't think of this! Most just don't pay close attention. If at all, ha.
also note anything she says about something she really likes, and for the next date bring a small token along those lines. it doesnt have to be anything big or expensive, just something that shows her you were thinking about her and what she likes. for instance on girl i dated loved pigs, so every chance i got, i found a little pig for her to put on her nick knack shelf. another girl i dated wanted to buy a birthday present for someone, so i took her to the mall to various stores, and i made suggestions, some serious, some comical(to keep the mood light), and i noted her reactions to things. the next date we had, i gave her a stuffed flower that she liked.
I basically wrote this all down to have. Very smooth!
Did YOU feel a connection with these women? Sometimes we can be so focused on winning someone over that we forget to stop to think about how we really feel about that person.
I admit I got caught up in such a thing one time with this guy I had, er, a "crush" on. It likely would've passed in a few weeks after I would've gotten to know him better & learned we were not a match. We did not "connect". But instead, it becomes about ME, and my ability to attract someone & get them to desire me. After wasting some months on this, I suddenly had a realization on how silly the whole thing was. I did not even really like him! I started to think about how I actually felt when around him, as opposed to the fantasy of having "gotten" him. I started to think about how we interacted & what we had in common - strained & very little. Then it dawned on me that I did not feel any connection to him. I wasn't even really attracted to him. I just liked this IDEA of him, and making that idea a reality was mostly about validating MYSELF.
That may not be exactly what's going on with you, but think about it a bit. Start to consider how you feel in these interactions - do you feel connected to her? Is this someone you can see having a bond with, based on what has happened & not on a fantasy?
There's a line between being too closed & dismissing potential partners for silly reasons & being too open so that you don't even pay attention to how you feel & pursue people (or ideas) for the sake of it, not because there's any real potential for more between you.
You have to keep trying. The hardest part about dating is weeding through people - it's frustrating, I know. It's very important not to carry any of that bitterness over, though.
I think that if five girls in a row said this, it means the phrase is sort of a fad, where you live. I wouldn't analyse it beyond that.
People struggle with putting their feelings into words, being polite, etc. Yes, even female people! So when one person comes up with a way to say what a lot of people feel, everyone adopts it. Ya feel me? You pickin' up what I'm layin' down?
Wow! This is so smooth! Most guys don't think of this! Most just don't pay close attention. If at all, ha.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
I basically wrote this all down to have. Very smooth!
it all comes down to, do you really want to make the lady yours, or are you just there because you can say that you dated that person. as i once said, all womens belong to me. and to make good on that i have to be attentive to what they need, not what i want from them. and i recognize that the competition is good, so i need to be better.
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