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Since this seem to be a recurring problem, what can I do to make connections with women?
My only advice is don't go out on "dates" with women who you don't know and are not having sex with.
It's a waste of YOUR money and YOUR time. Do what you do to continue to meet girls, but when you set something up for the first time, take them to a coffee shop, a pizza joint, or a burger stand for the first 2-3 outings. Something cheap....
If no romantic chemistry develops after those 2-3 outings, then cut your losses and move on because she's not into you. When a woman is into you, you can kiss her and touch her anywhere even on the 1st date.
After you have sex, then you can take her to the nice restaurants all around town.
It may sound harsh, or that you're bogarting women into doing what you want, but all you're doing is protecting yourself from being taken advantage of. I know of many situations where women would be having sex with her FWB/X-boyfreind either before or after another a new male would take her out to expensive restaurants. The new male got nothing at the end of the date other then a buddy hug from the woman and the restaurant bill from the waiter.
Lack of connection is rejection. A "lack of connection" is a euphemism.
Let's do the reverse, Pitt Chick.
Say, you were attending an upscale dinner party, and you saw the man of your dreams so you decided to introduce yourself.
Ok, well, after a few dates, your dream guy told you he just wanted to be friends because he felt a "lack of connection". How would you feel, Pit Chick? You know how you would feel, you would feel poorly about yourself for a while because you knew that he rejected your romantic proposition.
A man could never be "the man of my dreams" based on his appearance alone. I don't hang my self-esteem on the approval of complete strangers, and don't feel that a lack of connection on his part is a reflection of my worth.
My only advice is don't go out on "dates" with women who you don't know and are not having sex with.
It's a waste of YOUR money and YOUR time. Do what you do to continue to meet girls, but when you set something up for the first time, take them to a coffee shop, a pizza joint, or a burger stand for the first 2-3 outings. Something cheap....
If no romantic chemistry develops after those 2-3 outings, then cut your losses and move on because she's not into you. When a woman is into you, you can kiss her and touch her anywhere even on the 1st date.
After you have sex, then you can take her to the nice restaurants all around town.
It may sound harsh, or that you're bogarting women into doing what you want, but all you're doing is protecting yourself from being taken advantage of. I know of many situations where women would be having sex with her FWB/X-boyfreind either before or after another a new male would take her out to expensive restaurants. The new male got nothing at the end of the date other then a buddy hug from the woman and the restaurant bill from the waiter.
dude, this isn't even on topic. His OP isn't about women taking advantage of him, or the money he spends on dates. We don't know if he's spent any money on dates. He's just saying that after a few dates, the women aren't feeling it for him, and that's happened w/5 women.
Usually, though, if your dates aren't feeling a connection, neither are you. In most cases, I'd say. We don't know how the OP has felt about those 5 women, from his side of the equation. You're not going to hit it off probably with most people. So if the first five didn't work out, move on to the next 5. How are we supposed to know what he's doing wrong, anyway? He hasn't told us anything about what happened on the dates.
If I had that many women interested in me enough for multiple dates, but not enough for a relationship I would have to think that I am annoying in some way. Whether it is being overbearing or too aloof. There has got to be something that is turning these women off the more they get to know you. If you only got one date it could be something superficial, but I doubt that is the case. Try to be more self aware and you might figure it out.
A man could never be "the man of my dreams" based on his appearance alone. I don't hang my self-esteem on the approval of complete strangers, and don't feel that a lack of connection on his part is a reflection of my worth.
Sure he can. Many women have claimed they simply laid eyes on a man and considered him the man of her dreams. That's going solely by appearance.
Sure he can. Many women have claimed they simply laid eyes on a man and considered him the man of her dreams. That's going solely by appearance.
This is true. My Dad's friend's daughter said she automatically fell in love with someone just by looking at him and his appearance. She had said "he's the one" after doing that. They are currently married.
What I have found is that what women say in public is completely different from what they do in private.
In public, women say they want nice guys who play no games, they want guys to give them flowers on a first date, and to take long walks on the beach, and they want guys to court them, ect, but in private, and who women actually decide to have sex with, it's a different story.
In private, through my male friends who are good with women, they don't do anything nice or anything romantic for women. They treat women like she's one of the guys really. The guys I know simply do the absolute minimum along with giving the girl the drink and drug of her choice to loosen her up.
Not saying that women don't like nice guys. But all the romance stuff you're taking about is for women 40 and over. It just doesn't work on the vast majority of younger women.
I don't hear women say they want that. They generally don't want games, but there is a certain amount of teasing that creates excitement. It's not a game to play with feelings, it's called flirting.
The flowers & long walks on the beach are silly cliches people mock now. Being too sappy too soon shows an investment in someone you don't even know; that looks needy, which is not true giving.
Women may want flowers, etc, from a man they are already in a relationship with, not from someone they are just getting to know. From someone you are getting to know, you want to be excited & stimulated mentally, emotionally & physically, but also learn about their qualities and see how they treat you (with respect, etc).
"Courting" is such an outdated word that I can't address it, aside from assuming it means someone dating to get to know you as a potential long-term relationship & not just trying to get in your pants. In that case, many women want that, and then men complain they don't put out fast enough. No, these are not the easy girls your friends hook up with, because your friends are targeting a certain kind of girl.
It seems to me you just hang out with low class people. The women I know don't sleep with male friends for drinks or drugs, and I'm referring to women ranging from 18 to 35.
New York City is a prime example of all of the above. NYC is single central! Everybody is SINGLE in NYC because of all 3 of my points listed.
Except for all the ones who aren't into drinking and drugs, and who don't have a lot of casual sex.
This is interesting, because Seattle for a long time was Single Central, with the highest percentage of singles for the population. But it had nothing to do with partying and drugs. It was mainly because people are so reserved and unfriendly, singles weren't mingling with each other much.
Taking 100 women out on a first date doesn't have to cost anything, or not more than a cup of coffee. And you don't have to date 100. You get to know a lot of people just going about your leisure time activities, hanging out with friends, etc.
Last five girls that have rejected me have said they felt no connection with me
Quote:
Originally Posted by simon22
Since this seem to be a recurring problem, what can I do to make connections with women?
I can understand, this is making you feel low. You have to know that it's not necessary that only you are at fault, I am not sure what it is in your case, since you have not mentioned much about it but you shouldn't think like that. Luck also plays its part in love and relationships, some people are just plain unlucky, if you are doing everything right, and you said that it's a recurring problem for you, then it is clear that you are just unlucky, I don't think you can do much about it.
Not all men are lucky to find love in their lives, so what if women are not attracted to you, you should just be yourself, show who you are, be confident, display confidence and do what makes you happy. I am sure some women, sometime in future will surely like you, for who you are. I am not giving you a false hope here, but my point is be positive about it.
Please don't do something stupid like trying to change yourself to attract women, that's the worst thing. Never do that. If you do, then in the long run, you will surely be unhappy.
Hence just let it be where it is, you are who you are, don't be desperate and never show it. It will definitely put women off.
If it is meant to happen, it will happen. Don't expect any result or outcome, you will be dissapointed if you do, keep trying, be positive and be prepared for whatever the outcome may be.
I know it is easier said than done, but I hope you understand what I am saying.
However it's up to you, take the best decision that suits you.
Good luck
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Last five girls that have rejected me have said they felt no connection with me
