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This. I've been on countless dates the past year and have really only connected with 2 of them. Maybe 3. Connections are hard to come by in my experience. Of course, I feel the same way about people in general. I have a few very close friends and many more casual friends. Five dates with no connections isn't too much to be worried about. The more you go out, the more you're bound to connect with someone.
also note anything she says about something she really likes, and for the next date bring a small token along those lines. it doesnt have to be anything big or expensive, just something that shows her you were thinking about her and what she likes. for instance on girl i dated loved pigs, so every chance i got, i found a little pig for her to put on her nick knack shelf. another girl i dated wanted to buy a birthday present for someone, so i took her to the mall to various stores, and i made suggestions, some serious, some comical(to keep the mood light), and i noted her reactions to things. the next date we had, i gave her a stuffed flower that she liked.
I don't know. Giving gifts that early on seems too needy/nice guy-ish.
I don't know. Giving gifts that early on seems too needy/nice guy-ish.
How do you know that not being nice-guyish isn't what got you the brush-off 5 times? You don't have to do it on the 2nd date. But maybe the 3rd or 4th.
You still haven't told us anything about these dates, nor whether or not you were into the women at all. How do you expect us to be able to help if you don't give us details, details?
I don't know. Giving gifts that early on seems too needy/nice guy-ish.
It's not like he had bought her a really expensive gift, though. Something that small is more than suffice-able, and making a point that he listened to what the girl liked.
Exactly NewYorker. Being in touch with the other person and paying attention to them is what its about. If you are expecting the girls you dated to just fall for you without any effort on your part, then maybe thats why it bombed. Of course, I wouldn't know, because you haven't told us more about it. But I would definitely be less willing to go further with a guy who was sort of a bump on a log expecting things and being dissapointed because I didn't come through in whatever he was expecting.
I would be totally swept off my feet with someone who seemed to be truly interested in me, as a person, as a potential romantic partner and all that.
I don't know. Giving gifts that early on seems too needy/nice guy-ish.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
How do you know that not being nice-guyish isn't what got you the brush-off 5 times? You don't have to do it on the 2nd date. But maybe the 3rd or 4th.
You still haven't told us anything about these dates, nor whether or not you were into the women at all. How do you expect us to be able to help if you don't give us details, details?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
It's not like he had bought her a really expensive gift, though. Something that small is more than suffice-able, and making a point that he listened to what the girl liked.
listen to these people simon, they are right. i didnt give anything big or expensive, just a little token taht was designed to let them know that i was listening to them. the gifts were trinkets to me, but they meant a lot to them.
you would be stupid to give something expensive on the second date, unless you are bill gates, then perhaps a mercedes might be appropriate, or not. but a single stuffed flower, or a small glass pig that cost a few bucks made their day, and deepened their interest in me, which means it was a good gift all around.
simon if you want a woman to be interested in you, you have to show them you are interested in them. and that means you have to show them that you LISTENED to what they said during your first date.
THIS is what women notice. When men express genuine interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by foclampt
Exactly NewYorker. Being in touch with the other person and paying attention to them is what its about. If you are expecting the girls you dated to just fall for you without any effort on your part, then maybe thats why it bombed. Of course, I wouldn't know, because you haven't told us more about it. But I would definitely be less willing to go further with a guy who was sort of a bump on a log expecting things and being dissapointed because I didn't come through in whatever he was expecting. I would be totally swept off my feet with someone who seemed to be truly interested in me, as a person, as a potential romantic partner and all that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
Rbohm, anymore nuggets and tips to throw our way? :P
how much more do you need? if you show a genuine interest in a woman, she will notice it, and she will respond in a positive manner.
also do yourself a favor and read up on a little poetry as well, and use it. women respond well when you really set out to capture her heart. just remember to be gentle with that heart when you win it, and it will serve you well for years to come.
I would be totally swept off my feet with someone who seemed to be truly interested in me, as a person, as a potential romantic partner and all that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
THIS is what women notice. When men express genuine interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm
how much more do you need? if you show a genuine interest in a woman, she will notice it, and she will respond in a positive manner.
What is this a joke?
All it takes is to show genuine, true interest in a woman and respect and appreciate her for the woman she is and she will reciprocate your affection in kind?
Wow. You have got to be kidding me.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
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