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Oh, I'm sorry if I sounded like I was taking a cheap shot...I sincerely do not get why some men who come here regularly have a drum they beat - same beat over and over - I don't get why they don't just try to implement some of these ideas? Sure it might not work immediately and for everyone you meet, but, there are lots and lots of people in the world. There is most certainly someone who will appeal to you and someone you will appeal to.
actually they claim they tried the idea and it didnt work. the problem is how did they try it? who did they try it with? halfassed attempts dont work, and if they tried it with someone they have known a long time, it wont work either as sit will seem like they now have an agenda.
and of course they dont have any confidence to even try a cold approach, so they can try with a new person to see how well it works.
lol. The OP fails to realize just how many it takes to get it right. Five is nothing. Try 20 or 30; try friendships with unrequited love/longing try the friend zone try girls you are attracted to that are not as attracted to you (if at all) try a lot of weird, unique situations no one would ever believe you (if you were to tell anyone about them). Five is just getting started; OP should have experienced as much in high school, if not junior high.
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by goofy328;
I'm not sure if it is necessarily about dating 100 women. You might date 5, 10, even 15, before you realize how many aren't worth your time, or how many would not be a good look for you. That is where the other 85 come in, IMHO Those are just girls you acknowledge, might have some interesting conversations with, might be friends with, etc. but didn't necessarily need to get to know further.
Bingo. It's 100 women you've checked out on OLD, some of whom you've passed on, others you've had some email back-and-forth with, and a few you've actually dated. It's women you've worked with, whether you dated them or not, it's women you've chatted with at concerts or the coffee shop. It may start in HS or college. Over a lifetime, whether you realize it or not, many men have talked to hundreds of women. (It's kind of hard to avoid, considering women are half the population.) One of our members says he approaches almost 30/WEEK, casually approaching several daily. That's 100+/month.
Oh, I'm sorry if I sounded like I was taking a cheap shot...I sincerely do not get why some men who come here regularly have a drum they beat - same beat over and over - I don't get why they don't just try to implement some of these ideas? Sure it might not work immediately and for everyone you meet, but, there are lots and lots of people in the world. There is most certainly someone who will appeal to you and someone you will appeal to.
There you go. If you show genuine interest in a woman and generally appreciate her on the inside, there's a chance she might reciprocate. That I agree with.
I do take shots. I take a lot of shots.
Mostly it doesn't work out. A few times it has.
But I'm just saying, showing a genuine interest in a woman is a guarantee of zilch.
I don't think you should give up either, Froggy. But if you do, then thats really your business and your life.When I started a conversation with you, it was just that, a conversation. But, all things start with a conversation.
Froggie's actually pretty cool. But he's geographically challenged. He's living in some weird pit where there are a lot of unsavory people and not too many bright, together ones. He needs to relocate, but he can't for whatever personal reasons, for now.
There you go. If you show genuine interest in a woman and generally appreciate her on the inside, there's a chance she might reciprocate. That I agree with.
I do take shots. I take a lot of shots.
Mostly it doesn't work out. A few times it has.
But I'm just saying, showing a genuine interest in a woman is a guarantee of zilch.
one thing i have learned in the last 55 years, THERE IS NO guarantees in life. the only thing you can do is improve your odds. but if you truly show a genuine interest in a lady, it really helps increase her interest in you.
actually they claim they tried the idea and it didnt work. the problem is how did they try it? who did they try it with? halfassed attempts dont work, and if they tried it with someone they have known a long time, it wont work either as sit will seem like they now have an agenda.
and of course they dont have any confidence to even try a cold approach, so they can try with a new person to see how well it works.
Actually, I'd be curious to know what it is they're trying? Are they 'finally' asking someone out after being their 'buddy' for a long time?
Are they kind of having a hard time with the communication part? And lack in charm and skills? All I hear is I'm rejected this way, and I'm rejected that way...What ARE they trying?
Hey JJS99 - what do you do when you try? Do you have a way you always do it? And what are your intentions when you do?
Intentions, like, your thinking, are you kinda like, " I better learn how to ride this bicycle before all my buddies find out that I can't ride a bicycle?" Or are you more like, "This woman is so cute, I can't wait to talk to her and find out more about her?"
Froggie's actually pretty cool. But he's geographically challenged. He's living in some weird pit where there are a lot of unsavory people and not too many bright, together ones. He needs to relocate, but he can't for whatever personal reasons, for now.
Yah, Ruth, I gathered that from his last post. It does sound like hes' stuck in a lot of ways. And I agree, I think Froggy is okay too. His sitch has him down, I understand.
I shouldn't have said that about the pm. Sorry Froggy.
Exactly.
Bingo. It's 100 women you've checked out on OLD, some of whom you've passed on, others you've had some email back-and-forth with, and a few you've actually dated. It's women you've worked with, whether you dated them or not, it's women you've chatted with at concerts or the coffee shop. It may start in HS or college. Over a lifetime, whether you realize it or not, many men have talked to hundreds of women. (It's kind of hard to avoid, considering women are half the population.) One of our members says he approaches almost 30/WEEK, casually approaching several daily. That's 100+/month.
I never really approached women. IDK I always came into contact with enough over the course of a day or a week I just did not see the reason as to why I should. It usually does not work. The ones that lead into something greater are usually women you already know, that you are already in contact with, that you just take to the next level that reciprocate the interest. But if the OP intentionally starts hitting on women he is already friends with it will never happen. The process must be organic, if at all.
Mistake a lot of men make is the blind/cold approach with women they do not know anything about, simply because they are attracted to her. Many find out the hard way that the woman is not right for them (or perhaps her situation is not, but she is) and then there is this frustration because they put a lot of energy into discovering what would have been the obvious had they simply allowed things to unfold they way that they normally would. Well over 90% of those I've come into contact over the years I knew it wasn't a good idea to try to take it further, some for obvious reasons and some reasons that were not readily apparent. What women say about the men in their lives is also very telling, and men can use that to their advantage but a lot of guys that are blinded by their attraction to the woman rarely pay attention to those signs. It really isn't rocket science.
A lot of women are, backhandedly, telling guys as much, if those men were to really listen they wouldn't continue wasting their time with the women because they are just seeking attention. They're really polite and do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. Others are just naive and are not conscious, self aware, but they really want someone to listen to them (because a lot of men that are only interested in one thing won't) and this is where a lot of nice guys fall into a trap. But it is nothing personal; really, it isn't personal at all and should not be construed as such.
Yah, Ruth, I gathered that from his last post. It does sound like hes' stuck in a lot of ways. And I agree, I think Froggy is okay too. His sitch has him down, I understand.
I shouldn't have said that about the pm. Sorry Froggy.
Lol, jeeze you really put him on the spot.Brush it off Reds get back in the game.I fall all the time.Sucks ass too!
Hey JJS99 - what do you do when you try? Do you have a way you always do it? And what are your intentions when you do?
Intentions, like, your thinking, are you kinda like, " I better learn how to ride this bicycle before all my buddies find out that I can't ride a bicycle?" Or are you more like, "This woman is so cute, I can't wait to talk to her and find out more about her?"
I've approached hundreds of women over decades in every kind of setting you can imagine. It's not about approach. It's about what you bring to the table.
It's not like, "Oh he's a nice guy, confident, funny, and he's interested in me. I'm so excited!" It doesn't work like that. It takes so much more than that. You need to give people what they want and fit their mold. Even beyond that, there was an instance where I was talking to a woman that was from the same area as me, went to similar colleges, same ethnicity and background, and I really thought we were clicking. She rejected me and it wasn't really even close. For others I meet at a meetup, I might not even get 2 minutes of conversation and they are looking for somebody else to talk to.
Maybe YOU are like what you say. I'll admit I'm like that. If a woman had a crush on me, or had a genuine interest, yea, I'd be flattered. I'd consider her candidacy as strongly as I could. But I have struggled in the dating game. I can guarantee you the majority of people are not so easily impressed or won.
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