Older men - Younger women (hubby, kids, spouse, friend)

[cold_eh_ND]

My husband is 16 years my senior. We have a good strong and happy marriage! (So far anyways). I don't think it makes a difference either way. If you love someone, you love them for who they are, not how old they are...although, I'm just 30 this year and get a kick out of harrassing my husband with OLD jokes! He does too, which makes it fun!

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by tasmtairy

Younger men have always been attracted to me and I have always been with younger men, maybe because I have always looked younger. However, now that I am 54, I no longer feel comfortable with seriously younger men, 10-15 years or more. I have been having a phone relationship with a man of 39. We are best friends but after several broken promises about moving out here I have decided to let go. The age difference is tremendous right now. Just the fact that I have been on this earth so much longer and have so much more life experience makes the age difference bigger. When you are older and single, independence makes a great deal of difference. I am not willing to compromise as much. I went out with someone my age and he left a 1.00 tip on a 25.00+ tab and I was mortified. In NC the pickings are slim. I went back to the restaurant and gave the waitress 5.00. Younger men have energy and stamina, older men have life experience. I am having trouble finding someone who is on my level. Age is just a number, true, but I am not willing to be a teacher. Now, at my age, I need someone who is already there...
I don't get older men with younger women. The physical stuff will wear off. My daughter is 31 and her boyfriend is 25 and because of his upbringing, big family, good work ethics and so on, makes this relationship worthwile for her without feeling like she is a babysitter. Everything is dependent on your own self-esteem, intelligence, and desires. Age doesn't matter if you are both on the same page.

Well one thing not discussed is the Older Man <> Younger Woman versus the Younger Man <> Older Woman situation have totally different dynamics.

Some younger men are probably comfortable with older women up to a certain age. You can debate all the reasons. My guess 20's male with 40's females starts to define the upper limits for "Normal" relationships. That is also the limit say 50's when many females start to change in mental outlook.

Plus the two situations are not equal in social acceptance. The older woman will have far more problems openly dating a far younger man. They will wind up saying she is his aunt to deflect a lot of comments. Showing affection in public will draw far more notice. The older woman will get far more criticism from her female peer groups than will an older man with the same age difference. An older man is generally admired by his peers for being successful. Older females will also probably have a much lower glass ceiling in terms of upper age. Older males can probably find willing partners way beyond their physical abilities to function as lovers. aka Strom Thurmond.

My guess is the Older Woman would also have more problems with keeping her partner on the ranch after some period. The females will go thru more major life changes than the males and that fact alone will limit their chances of ever duplicating the success record of the far older males.

You could have a big debate what effect money would have. Money always talks and both sexes of younger ages can be bought.

[cold_eh_ND]

Originally Posted by Cosmic

Well one thing not discussed is the Older Man <> Younger Woman versus the Younger Man <> Older Woman situation have totally different dynamics.

Some younger men are probably comfortable with older women up to a certain age. You can debate all the reasons. My guess 20's male with 40's females starts to define the upper limits for "Normal" relationships. That is also the limit say 50's when many females start to change in mental outlook.

Plus the two situations are not equal in social acceptance. The older woman will have far more problems openly dating a far young man. They will wind up saying she is his aunt to deflect a lot of comments. Showing affection in public will draw far more notice. The older woman will get far more criticism from her female peer groups than will an older man with the same age difference. An older man is generally admired by his peers for being successful. Older females will also probably have a much lower glass ceiling in terms of upper age. Older males can probably find willing partners way beyond their physical abilities to function as lovers. aka Strom Thurmond.

My guess is the Older Woman would also have more problems with keeping her partner on the ranch after some period. The females will go thru more major life changes than the males and that fact alone will limit their changes of ever duplicating the success record of the far older males.

You could have a big debate what effect money would have. Money always talks and both sexes of younger ages can be bought.

I never really looked at it like that before. THANK YOU!! It's always nice to see other points of view. Helps me make decisions!! I suppose the same is true in social situations with gay couples.
One thing I DO know, I did not marry my husband for money...he works for the Federal Government so simply put, he's by NO means rich, but I completely understand what you're saying. Rich old guy/ girl, young girl/guy....Makes sense.

[SandyCo]

What people haven't really addressed in the older women, younger men scenario is that it can work well until the man decides he wants to find someone to have children with. Freakish science aside (didn't a 65-year-old woman just give birth after lying about her age?), let's face it - women's eggs age, and a 40-year-old woman isn't the best candidate for having a baby. Such a pregnancy is high risk. Biology dictates this scenario for most of us. While I think having an affair with a younger man could work, to think of it as a long term relationship might be nothing more than a fool's game. Now, not everyone wants children... but it is true that women change more as they age (unless they know a great cosmetic surgeon! ), and it's unlikely that such a couple would stay together for 30 or 40 years.

[Rainy]

Personally more than a couple of years either way wouldn't work for me; I think there's a lot to be said about growing old together. But if it works for other people that's their business.

[ducksburg]

5-6 years gap is okay,but 20....impossible for me

[bluewatergirl]

I don't think age matters very much.
My husband and I have a 17 year age difference,
yet a strong relationship built on common beliefs
and values, mutual love and respect and good communication.
That's not to say we haven't had our share of differences.
We come from very unlike backgrounds and
probably would never have met if it hadn't been
for an on-line singles site.
Neither one of us had posted a photo, just truthful
information, and we wrote back and forth for weeks
before we met.
Both of us are intelligent, attractive people who had
been in prior bad marriages.
We share 3 children with one more on the way.

[cold_eh_ND]

Originally Posted by bluewatergirl

I don't think age matters very much.
My husband and I have a 17 year age difference,
yet a strong relationship built on common beliefs
and values, mutual love and respect and good communication.
That's not to say we haven't had our share of differences.
We come from very unlike backgrounds and
probably would never have met if it hadn't been
for an on-line singles site.
Neither one of us had posted a photo, just truthful
information, and we wrote back and forth for weeks
before we met.
Both of us are intelligent, attractive people who had
been in prior bad marriages.
We share 3 children with one more on the way.

I never thought I could marry someone 16 years older than me but I did and it works. Same is true with me...different generations, common beliefs (very good wording btw). Although we didn't meet online, and although it is my first marriage (his second), I knew after our 3rd date he was the one I wanted to marry. I don't think I knew how old he was yet either. Fortunately he looks alot younger so people don't assume he's my dad. It may not work for some, but for others it truly DOES work! We share 5 children with hopes of at least one more.
Thanks for your story!!! Nice to know I'm not alone!!!

[Coyote_Blond]

So long as everyones plumbing still works... it's all good! hehehe...blinks..wut?

[joee]

The working plumbing is not really the issue, it's them darn leaks & clogs , unless your talkin if the old plumin still has enough pressure to make things rise to the next level.

Well one thing not discussed is the Older Man <> Younger Woman versus the Younger Man <> Older Woman situation have totally different dynamics.

There for a minute i thought cosmic was going to get into the relationship of the laws of gravity & how it effects the body of old age