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To you it's doing nothing. To him he's doing what he wants to. My grandfather spent the last 20 years of his life at home "relaxing". He rarely got out, watched TV when he felt like it and kept himself amused at home piddling around. He lived to be 90. It certainly didn't hurt him.
I'm sorry but I still say sitting around all day long isn't good for anyone
I'm sorry but I still say sitting around all day long isn't good for anyone
Agreed, but the OP said that he does do some things in his workshop, so it is not like he is 'glued' to either his chair or bed all the time. Although those who care about him might want to encourage him to be more active because of his health, it is his choice what he wants to do with his time, as most of us have said.
Last edited by katharsis; 09-14-2019 at 06:04 AM..
I'm sorry but I still say sitting around all day long isn't good for anyone
My late father grew up during the Great Depression and following the death of his mother at age 13 who left behind 7 children to the support the care of their alcoholic father, with one less mouth to feed my father was set loose by his father to make his way in the world. From 13-16 my father worked from farm to farm, and from 16-17 worked in a logging camp in Oregon. The same day my father turned 17 he joined the Navy. After completing basic training he was shipped off to fight in the Pacific during WWII, and after that decided to make the Navy a career and spent the next 25 years traveling the world doing just that. Two months after retiring from the Navy at age 42 he began his 2nd career as a building supervisor for a large insurance company and worked in this job for 32 years finally retiring at age 74. Shortly after my father retired from his 2nd job my mother's health began to decline and he took care of her until her death at which time he was 82.
From 82 to his death at 87, with no longer having the burdens of work and having to care for my mother my late father finally had the time to read the large dust covered collection of books that he had been waiting so many years to finally read. Reading along with doing a little gardening in the yard and catching up with old friends over the phone or at the local diner for coffee is how he spent most of his days. And when Sundays rolled around he would have dinner at either my or my sister's house which was his main event for the week. One day I asked my father if there was a movie, place, or trip he would like to go on and that I would be happy to take him and his response was no thanks. He then went on to say for the majority of his life he was a human doing and was now very content at this stage of his life to just be a human being.
And myself being very much my father's daughter, when I retire in a few years at age 66 which follows a 45 year nursing career the first day of my retirement will be spent shopping for a new Lazy Girl recliner where I plan to spend not all but a good deal of time reading my own collection of dust covered books that I did not have the time to read during my own long and overdoing work life.
My 82 year old M-I-L has the same type of daily schedule as the Father of the OP. She was very active when she initially retired, Ceramic & Craft Classes, scheduled lunches with long-term friends, sporadic trips with friends to casinos an hour or so away, drive herself wherever she wanted to go, etc.
Now her health has deteriorated, her friends have mostly passed, she is no longer able to drive herself to visit those that remain, some that remain are in Alzheimer facilities, etc.
So yeah, retirement may become an extended boredom phase for many of us. No one's true desire.
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.
My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.
I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
I've retired twice and hated it both times. Up until recently, I worked 40 hours per week , but for the past month have been sidelined with some knee surgery. I absolutely HATE it ! I find myself sleeping in later and later, have breakfast, start watching TV and decide to take a nap. Then, in the afternoon, I play on the computer a little, and take another nap !
Today I am going back to work, and I can not wait. How some people can stand to vegetate by being retired hurts my head. You can only play with your toys and putter around so much before it gets really old.
I've retired twice and hated it both times. Up until recently, I worked 40 hours per week , but for the past month have been sidelined with some knee surgery. I absolutely HATE it ! I find myself sleeping in later and later, have breakfast, start watching TV and decide to take a nap. Then, in the afternoon, I play on the computer a little, and take another nap !
Today I am going back to work, and I can not wait. How some people can stand to vegetate by being retired hurts my head. You can only play with your toys and putter around so much before it gets really old.
Going to work almost every day of my life for me has gotten really old. Take a couple of aspirin for your hurting head and go back to work if you enjoy it, and don't worry about other people who choose a different life style. It won't affect your life. And for goodness sake, stop smacking yourself
Agreed, but the OP said that he does do some things in his workshop, so it is not like he is 'glued' to either his chair or bed all the time. Although those who care about him might want to encourage him to be more active because of his health, it is his choice what he wants to do with his time, as most of us have said.
Here's the OP. Show me where ERH said he wanted to force his father to do something other than sitting around all day.
Quote:
Apologies in advance to those of you who like to spend every day piddling around and doing nothing but watch the grass grow, but I think I'd rather eat my gun than to live a life without some kind of goal or purpose and *something* to strive for and/or get done every day.
My 80yo dad just watches the hours pass on the clock, book-ending his days with morning coffee and evening supper, with not much to show for the entire day in between. On occasion, he'll get fired up to do something in his workshop, but other than that, nada.
I fully recognize that I have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE. It's his retirement and he can do, or not do, whatever he pleases. It just kills me to see someone -- anyone -- wasting precious time.
You and others have invented a straw man so you could have the pleasure of self-righteously skewering it.
^^ Fluffy, I did NOT say that ERH "wanted to force his father to do something than sit around all day", and I did not even IMPLY that! Please read my post again and then quote where you think I did.
And why "pick on" me in particular? If you go back and read my posts and the other posts, I think you will find that others were much more strident in their "attacks" (my word, not yours!) on the OP -- and in fact, I didn't attack the OP at all unless you consider that fact that I was clear in stating my belief that the kind of retirement a retiree has is up to the retiree to be an attack. (Or do you disagree with that opinion?)
Last edited by katharsis; 09-14-2019 at 06:52 AM..
I think it's a fair point to look at how some people's lives seem so empty and fear that type of future. Ten years ago a female colleague with a face like a raison claimed that she was celebrating her 60th birthday. I boldly stated that if I look like that at 60, please put me out of my misery.
I'm sure that made her feel good.
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