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Old 04-10-2019, 07:44 AM
 
Location: OHIO
2,349 posts, read 1,074,758 times
Reputation: 5378

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Yeah, it was rude. Obviously people carry their weight differently, but your measurements don't say "fat" to me.


A comment like that would kind of bother me as I have struggled with body issues, but nobody would know that. That's on me to work on. I'd either a) have ignored it or b) just said "hey, that's rude/lets not cross any lines" or whatever to keep it professional and shut it down. You have to pick your battles and this isn't one imo.


If it continues, and it feels like it's being done to get a rise out of you, that's different. You can kind of tell when someone just says something rude/stupid because maybe they weren't thinking vs when it's done to be hurtful.
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Old 04-10-2019, 08:30 AM
 
Location: North Texas
23,991 posts, read 32,798,789 times
Reputation: 27517
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
One of my co workers said I'm getting fat and she was like look at your behind..referring to my butt since I'm pear shaped and bottom heavy. I'm 5'3 and about 136 lbs. Used to be lighter but gained few pounds

Ofcourse I was offended by it. when she asked me for something I said no, you called me fat. Then she was like oh you look good. The extra pounds suits you. You're not fat.I will let it go for now but she makes those remarks again I will report her

Would they overlook this ? Comments like this are hurtful and my clothes already tells me I'm gaining weight and don't need her to point it out. Should I report her?
I used to get bullied by this one co-worker years ago for being thin. She regularly attacked me, calling me "bony-assed" and telling me I needed to "eat a sandwich." She herself was quite heavy. She was on a different team and reported to a different manager (and director and VP).


I shared that information with my boss but never HR; nothing can be gained by going to HR. I don't know if he ever took it further, but after I spoke with him she bullied me a bit less.
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Old 04-10-2019, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Upland, CA
3,661 posts, read 6,482,326 times
Reputation: 4123
Of course its rude.

But OP should have a backbone and said something right then. Reporting it? Give me a break.
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Old 04-10-2019, 01:46 PM
 
820 posts, read 443,228 times
Reputation: 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
Ughh...weather I lose or gain weight. it's none of anyone's business. Weather I decided to do something about it, is up to me and my business. unless you're my doctor, or some extremely close to me then I don't need you pint it out and embarrass me. worry about your own weight. Not to meantion, the said co worker is isn't slim herself. It's always overweight people that feel like they have the right to comment on others weight. like why don't get your ass into the gym and work on your weight before worrying about others
If you know how to reply, you don't need to report her and to make her know that your weight is your weakness point.

From the beginning if you feel she made her comment " you are fat" in inappropriate position, as a kind of ruddiness, just say:
"You, too"

Or you can smile and say:

"If your house made from glass; don't throw stones at people" (My translation)

In a case that you are married, you can say:
"Your husband loves it, he sees it more feminine, you don't want to gain weight but it's for him" If she really wanted to offend/hurt you, she will be boiling by this reply. She will not have a response.


She MAYBE kept saying that comment and ignoring your notification to her because you MADE HER know that your weigh is your weakness point, she realized that "weight" is a sensitive issue according to you. So, it's easy to annoy you or getting into your nerves every time by referring to it, then claiming it was unintentional. Be smart when you deal with people, don't get offended easily.


What you may don't know is, as there are people who want to be slim, there are others who want to be fat. It may sound strange but it's real.
And what you don't know also that SOME females when they feel jealous of another female's body, they try to criticize it while they are admired of it inside themselves. Your friend might wish to have the shape of your body and that what makes her criticize it every time.

I usually not tend to take things from the negative side, we don't know what you were talking bout that made her says that comment. We just depend on what you stated here, you transferred your negative feeling about your co-worker to the reader and accordingly, I wrote this comment.


At the end, self-confidence is VERY important whether you are fat or thin. At the same time, if you are overweigh due to bad eating habits, it's better to make a healthy diet and more exercises to lose some weigh, it's for your health in the first place.



Good luck
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Old 04-10-2019, 04:32 PM
 
2,153 posts, read 527,667 times
Reputation: 3746
It seems everyone looks for a way to have their feelings hurt nowadays, mostly for advantage.
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Old 04-10-2019, 05:16 PM
 
Location: annandale, va & slidell, la
7,321 posts, read 3,032,957 times
Reputation: 6125
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
One of my co workers said I'm getting fat and she was like look at your behind..referring to my butt since I'm pear shaped and bottom heavy. I'm 5'3 and about 136 lbs. Used to be lighter but gained few pounds

Ofcourse I was offended by it. when she asked me for something I said no, you called me fat. Then she was like oh you look good. The extra pounds suits you. You're not fat.I will let it go for now but she makes those remarks again I will report her

Would they overlook this ? Comments like this are hurtful and my clothes already tells me I'm gaining weight and don't need her to point it out. Should I report her?
Well, are you? Pics would be helpful.
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Old 04-10-2019, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
9,125 posts, read 2,996,123 times
Reputation: 13763
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasLawyer2000 View Post
It was absolutely rude and you shouldn't provoke her anymore and just move on.

However, it's also good feedback. Others are noticing your health issues. Sometimes this is what it takes for us to get help.
The OP should consider how much worse this situation will be in ten years, if she doesn't change her diet and exercise habits. Being fat and getting fatter is not a good alternative lifestyle. Every extra pound a person gains, will cost them dearly in many ways.
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Old 04-10-2019, 06:19 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,252 posts, read 503,088 times
Reputation: 1125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve McDonald View Post
The OP should consider how much worse this situation will be in ten years, if she doesn't change her diet and exercise habits. Being fat and getting fatter is not a good alternative lifestyle. Every extra pound a person gains, will cost them dearly in many ways.
Stay on track much? You somehow managed to turn a rude and unprofessional comment from a co-worker into a weight problem for the OP which has worsened in ten years.
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Old 04-10-2019, 08:32 PM
 
9,519 posts, read 13,436,132 times
Reputation: 5692
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
One of my co workers said I'm getting fat and she was like look at your behind..referring to my butt since I'm pear shaped and bottom heavy. I'm 5'3 and about 136 lbs. Used to be lighter but gained few pounds

Ofcourse I was offended by it. when she asked me for something I said no, you called me fat. Then she was like oh you look good. The extra pounds suits you. You're not fat.I will let it go for now but she makes those remarks again I will report her

Would they overlook this ? Comments like this are hurtful and my clothes already tells me I'm gaining weight and don't need her to point it out. Should I report her?
Report her for what? Itís not illegal to call someone fat ...
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Old 04-10-2019, 08:35 PM
 
9,519 posts, read 13,436,132 times
Reputation: 5692
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie View Post
ugh we are not even friendly or friends outside work. And if my friend says anything like that to me, I will stop talking to them. Calling someone fat is rude and unacceptable
Truthfully i struggled with my weight in college. Having ppl call it out to me (even tho I already knew) was honestly the kick in the ass I needed. My own mother did it but that was out of concern bc she loved me. I lost the weight, i just needed that harsh dose of reality
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