And I am not talking about a good sale, either.
The kids. Both of them. Just kid stuff, brother sister stuff, that escalated so far.
Their behaviors here are SO different from there. Night and day. I need a different way other than telling them, you would not behave this way at Daddys house.
They already know that. They already know they should not be acting this way. Then comes the crying and upset. The stomping and yelling.
The blaming, the I dont understanding. The I hate my life. The why does it have to be this way.
A accuses me of trying to have ammunition against his father. I tell them it is hard for all of us, for me and daddy as well. We have never lived apart, but in the long run, it will be better, and there was a reason for it.
Right now it is new, and it is hard, for us all. We are still getting used to it. But we have to show respect, to everyone, wherever we are.
I suggest the psychologist. A says def not. He usually loves to see her. He says I am not going to any psychologist! I tell him she is not that type of dr. YES SHE IS!!!!! No she isn't, she is for talking. He says he has feelings he doesn't want to talk about right now.
I told him I understood, but we cant let our feelings stay bottled up for very long, they may explode.
Now I don't know if he has bad feelings for me that he doesn't want to let out, I dont know. I dont know if he thinks she tells me what she says...she doesn't, of course. whatever is said is kept there.
So, both kids are going to school upset, hopefully they will calm down. Whenever L would start to say anything, A would ball up his fists and get all mad and start just I dont know.
It can get worse, I suppose, and then better from there. They both really like school. Admittedly. Even A. I was worried more about him because of the first few weeks. But he was talking to me the other day about some friends at school and different happenings.
They feed off of eachothers anger. This would not even happen at his house, and if it even surfaced, they would be in such trouble.
We need more 'us' time. This getting ready for school, dinner and bed time, it just isn't flying.
He talked to them for about 30 seconds each last night, and he was at a friends house. It was while they were eating dinner.
Lindsay just came in for her jacket, totally calmed down, different demeanor. Hugged me, kissed me, told me she loved me and would call me when she gets home.
That quickly, her feelings are ok. Not Alexander. I bet he is on that bus just being mad as he can. I cannot say that for sure. I hope by the time he gets to school and meets up w his friends he will have calmed down.
I thought maybe we all need to meet. the kids were WAY against that, they both refused. Wait! I thought I was the adult. Well, of course there is a reason they refused, consequences. But then for myself, I can imagine him...what? You cant take care of the kids> they dont act like that at my house.
I dont know. It has only ben one month, and we have had no time together. They probably blame me and are resentful towards me. I really, as a good parent, cannot outwardly come out and tell them why we had to leave, in good faith.
I can't tell them that their father did this and this, and on top of that, he and your gmother did this, and he still continues to try and control me and keep power over me. No, I can't do that.
They will see that over time. And over time, all things come out, they have a way of doing that. I dont know.
Its hard, but no one said it would be easy, right?!
I suppose in time, things will work out. I just am not able to be my time is only fun time Mommy. But he is. Does that count against me? When we are with daddy, everything is fun. When we are with mommy, its not like that.
Ugh. The never ending Tink cup of coffee is taking a while here...so much thought process going on, arguing.
Can I go to work and be just an average worker? No. I can't. I can't be like them. Neither can Kalo. Or my friend T, or the new girl L. We can't. But they can.
I can't go from giving my best, when I am feeling well... to giving my 1/4, like front desk, ugh...
Whatever. LOL...
Hope you all have a wonderful day.
MsV, 2 of the drs have given me letters of reccomendation for another job.